80's flashback

My younger sister hosted an "80's" party this weekend. The irony of this party is that I was the only person in attendance that was any more than an embryo when the
80's began! My reference point of the 80's was much different than a bunch of twenty somethings. Def Leppard, Whitney Houston, REM, New Kids on the Block was the music they played- No Duran Duran, Culture Club, Flock of Seagulls or ABC, WTF?

As I was planning my wardrobe for the festivities, I struck out at the second hand stores so I ventured to the mall. I don't go to the mall much- I'm lucky to make it to Target. <<< NEWSFLASH >>> Did you know that the 80's styles are currently being sold in stores??? Young, hip, normally happenin' girls' boutiques carry leg warmers, geometrics, leggings, chunky jewelry- what is happening to the world. This stuff was ugly back then, WTF!

So it's a costume party, I'll get in the spirit and try on this stuff. Now, I know I've grown, but even the XXL T- shirts are tight, tight, tight! Back in the
80's we wore things baggy and bulky. Now the same styles are made to be skin tight- not a pretty sight on me! I bit the bullet and bought some horrendous neon yellow zebra (I must confess, I'm currently in a zebra print stage) halter because it was a forgiving baloon shape shirt- forgiving not flattering, WTF!

One of my sister's friends thought it would be funny to bring in her older sister's (that was in my class!!!) yearbooks from the 80's! As I walk in, they are gathered at a table laughing at the hairstyles and clothing- yep, I'm in all of them! Big hair, neons, hammer pants, blue eye eyeshadow- I was a fashion criminal!


I learned a few things about me and the 80's: no one had short hair in the 80's (because I could do nothing authentic with my short- MATURE haircut), I wore my makeup like a hooker, I personally added to the pollution crisis with all of the aerosol hairspray I used, getting old sucks, and flashbacks aren't always a good thing!