Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Pleasing me

You can't please all the people all the time. This rings so true in all aspects of life, doesn't it? My sane, reasonable, logical voice has been repeating this saying to my crazy, approval-seeking, people-pleaser self all day.

At home, with the kids, it's normal kid stuff. From choice of cereals to the cartoon that will be watched- no one ever agrees. I truly strive to be a mom that doesn't suck and, in that, I would like everyone to be happy. Where my kids are concerned, though, I'm OK with not pleasing them. I actually think they'll turn out better for it. I'm one of the moms that bring out my stories of woe, you should be grateful, when I was your age... I...(fill in hardship.) Everything isn't handed to you in life and it's a good life lesson to learn- even if it is just cereal and cartoons!

My husband is impossible to please and could have done without some cartoons and cereal in his time! With summer break upon us, I registered my son in a day camp, "Summer Scholars", at one of the college prep schools in the area. First reason being- a 13 year old needs to be occupied and out of my hair- did I just write that? Second, he really dropped the ball in the academic category this year, so in lieu of the athletic camp that he hoped for, I enlisted him into this computer/science camp- mean, huh?

The school is about 20 minutes away, not bad, but further than some. Although, this was a joint decision with my husband and I to sign him up, his brain was apparently away during that time (not unusual). My son was telling him details and he totally flipped. I call him the king of excuses. Here are a few he came up with: "Kids are supposed to play during summer break!" "With gas so expensive, you shouldn't be driving him all over the place!" "He doesn't even like science."

Now, you have to know my husband to understand the context of his rant. Sadly, if I explain it, he will come off pretty badly. Let me just say that he has anxiety and panic disorder and there TRULY is no pleasing him. So when he called this afternoon and my son is at a friend's house playing- (which is what kids are supposed to do during break, right?) he freaks again because, and I quote, "he's always going- can't he just stay home?!" I'm well acquainted with not pleasing him and, like the kids, I'm OK with it (since it simply cannot be done).

Which brings me to my final point. Pleasing readers. When I started this I just thought I would ramble about what was on my mind. To a large extent, I have done just that, oh yeah, sorry about that! That was the origin, but I had no idea of the thoughts that would be running through my head before, during and after writing a post!

It's hard enough to decide what to write about each day, but I'm now thinking about not pissing people off by, well, profanity. (Sorry about that, too.) I'm thinking about being true to myself, but all the while trying to fit myself into a mold that will not offend. All the while, I'm pretty sure my true self would offend. Trying to write something that will appeal to the type of people that may come across this. All the while, I don't think there is one type.

I have been second-guessing my posts, my language, and my content. Am I too boring? Am I too honest? Am I repetitive? Why do I care?

So here it is, my vow to continue to be myself. If it's not for you- thanks for playing. If you think, hey, I get a little of her crazy, well, it's great to have you, my crazy always loves company. I am here to please me and that's something I can do.

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Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

I think you came to the same conclusion I always do: be true to yourself, and as long as your intent is not malicious to others, everything else will fall where it should.

The Mom said...

Sarcastic mom hits the nail on the head! You are awesome Tena for who YOU are, and your writing is bonus. I'll always be a fan!

Honeybell said...

Absolutely. What they said. That's the lovely thing about having a blog--it is YOURS, to write or do with what you want. I can almost guarantee you---anyone you might offend by being yourself? Isn't someone you want reading anyway.

Ann said...

Are you editing as you write?!?
Not being the real Tena?
This is your space. Use it!
(Gee... I can't wait to see what you share next!)

Crazed Mom said...

With my original blog Twist & Skewer I started in a funny way. I was humorous. It worked really well but jeez, I don't feel funny that much lately. I felt almost obligated to not wrote for ME but for others. Not anymore. Most of my writing is stream of conscienciouness(ok too late to spell). I gotta be me.

You signed your 13yo for science camp--you are Saten!

Anonymous said...

you can;t please evryone all the time, boy thats the understatement of the day!! No sense in trying. Just do for you, what you do.

Anonymous said...

What all of them said! I've just found your blog and I like it and if you want to swear more then that's just fine by me. It is hard to stop trying to please everyone but do you know what? They never bloody appreciate it! I'm happy to set sail in your reader row boat, although it's looking more like a fancy yacht now!

Deb said...


I totally get what you are saying. I've been feeling like that about my blog, which isn't that old. You are inspiring me to not worry about what others think! A blog should be a "safe place". Like my therapy words there?

Btw - I have a 9 year old daughter too and she is, well, she is making me - NUTS! Come onto my blog and read about the award she just bestowed upon me! The hormones are kickin' in...and they don't get along with my hormones...

Jessi said...

I'd like you to know that I believe you're married to my husband. We have identical issues.

And I'd sign my kid up for that if they couldn't keep their grades up.

I remember 13, the VERY LAST place you want to be is at home.

Good luck.

Faerie Mom said...

Good for you! Stay true. If someone doesn't like it they can go read someone else's blog. he

Mrs4444 said...

You are a very genuine person, and I like the way you write. That said, I don't mind rated PG-13 cuss-words, but if I read a blogger who drops F-bombs like crazy, I think they're not very articulate; it's distracting, too. That said, I do think that sometimes an F-bomb is very appropriate. And the "shits" you dropped in that puke post? VERY appropriate! :)