So, today's the big day. The day I come clean. The day I take responsibility for all of that emotional eating because I can't afford a new wardrobe.
I hope anyone else that wants to get healthy or lose weight will join me in this journey and document their progress, as well... just grab the code on the sidebar and sign in with the Mr. Linky below. Please send encouraging comments to each participant you see!
I started last Monday when even my comfortable fleece jammie pants were becoming snug and I stepped on the scale and was devastated to see the unpleasant number staring back at me through the cracked plexi-glass in my grimy antiquated Sunbeam scale, that, unfortunately, still works!!!
I have been neglecting myself in more ways than one, as you can see by the chipped, unkempt toes and the depleted, dry winter skin around my ankles. But this, my friends, is an experiment in accountability -and the truth, much like my unpedicured Flintstone feet, ain't pretty!
Well, the buttons started flying across the room and poking people in the eye. I couldn't find a button-down shirt to cover my huge fatty boobs without the threads hanging on for dear life making every shirt a peek-a-boo show into the annals of my distended abdomen branded by 4 embryos' growth. I began to understand the physics behind 'the plumbers' crack' and thought about applying for a trade school after perfecting the wiggle and shift to pull up my pants- 30 times a day!
Depressing? You bet your ass it is. So much so, that I grabbed for another handful of chocolate covered pretzels! The vicious cycle reared its ugly head again.
As soon as the euphoria caused by beautifully silky dark chocolate started wearing off, I could feel the fat. I was becoming winded and uncomfortable in my stretched and dehydrated skin. I became curious... I decided to get concrete confirmation of the predicament that my sweet tooth, boredom, and stress had landed me in. Cue the dingy scale...
150 lbs. on the nose!
To give you an understanding of where I am, I am 5'4" and have a small frame. No matter how heavy I get, I will always have skinny chicken legs and a freakishly small head, it runs in the family. So most of those L B's are carried in my torso, much like a Sumo wrestler.
I weighed no more than 138 lbs. moments before popping each write-off out of my loins. I had gestational diabetes with each pregnancy and was on insulin and under extreme diet restrictions. As soon as the placenta came out, I made a mad dash for the buffet! I also nursed #2,3,and 4. Nursing made me ravenous. I couldn't get enough to eat and will admit to licking crumbs and hot fudge off of nursing babys' heads on more than one occasion. If nursing did, indeed, 'shrink and contract' (cough*bullshit*cough) my uterus back to normal size, it kept the shrinking a secret from the rest of my body. 150lbs is the heaviest I have been. After 13 months of being an engorged leche geyser that insatiably gorged on all things digestible, I weighed the same as I weigh now- 3 years later!
So, it's been a week. The first step is always the hardest, right? I went to the gym 3 times and have been trying to make better food choices. I resisted fresh hot chocolate chip cookies (that my amazingly supportive husband baked!) and dove into a bowl of Whole Grain Cheerios instead and consider that a victory. Cheerios are surprisingly delicious and satisfying when you're going through pastry withdrawals. I'm taking it slow because I don't want to run out of steam and fall off the wagon. I'm drinking a lot of water and hoping that I will resist further temptation because I'm too busy emptying my bladder.So without further ado...
Drum roll, please...147 lbs- 3 lbs lost! woo-hoo! (Oh yeah, and I moisturized and re-painted the pigs!)
I still had to wear my old lady fat pants to church this morning and I could feel my roly poly back fat on display for the people seated in the pew behind me. I still have a way to go, but this step on the scale is a step in the right direction...
How are you doing???