Wednesday, February 4, 2009

How Facebook wishes it was a Blog

I blog, therefore I am. This pretty much sums me up lately. I know I fell off the wagon during the holidays, but I'm back, baby, and as addicted as ever (keeps my mind off of eating!)

Speaking of which- check out the radical button that Jen made to commemorate our big butts getting smaller- first post coming Monday- if you're playing along- post it on your blog, won't you?

Back to my point, blogging and things related to blogging have become my life. I love the social networking and the creative outlet (screw off -it's subjective) it has given me. Unfortunately, it's a colossal waste of time that doesn't make money (I had a boyfriend like that once, too!)

For anyone that's fairly new to this place, I keep my blogging 'confidential'. I used to call it my 'dirty little secret'. I ventured in to this all by myself on a whim and never told anyone I knew that I did it. It stayed that way for a while until I got all cocky and started running off at the mouth.

I told a couple of friends and mentioned it to my mom and husband. I think my mom might have looked at it once and ran away screaming and never returned. My husband (if he can, indeed, read- verdict's still out) has no interest in what I write. He's too busy beating the punching bag downstairs in preparation of his male to Rocky transition.

I have a few friends that mention reading it on occasion, which totally freaks me out, but then again, they probably have bigger dirt on me than what they could read on here- so big deal!

True story: one of my friends told one of her friends about my blog and that girl (who I know- kinda) requested my Facebook friendship and wrote "(insert my friend's name) told me about you blog, she reads it all the time, me? Not so much." That was quite the vote of confidence and just the kick in the ass I needed to remind me why I keep these two lives separate.

Many bloggers just write cutesy little things about their kids and their life, but I use it as a diary. If it's on my mind, it's in my blog, within reason. Imagine running into people that you know at your kids' soccer practice or PTA meetings or Target and they say, Hey, I read how you exposed your rack online (guess which one is me, I dare ya!). Or I hear you're looking to score Xanax . Or Beebs is getting so big and I hear she says Fuck it now. Yeah, that's pretty much why I keep this separate from my real life.

Which is why Facebook is causing me a little anxiety right now. My two lives are, once again, infiltrating each other. My bloggy friends are now on my Facebook page with people I know in real life. Last week, it didn't mean much because these were mostly people I haven't spoken to in 20 years, but NOW my little sister is on there. She's knows most of the people that have been in my life, but I am 7 years older than her and am a little smarter sneakier and I'm hoping to pull the wool over her eyes. She's already asked me about a few names that she's never heard of- oh, I worked with her. So today she's wondering who McMommy, Stethoscopes Stilettos, and Halftime Lessons are... so if anyone asks - we go way back- you're friends from college- and you have weird names.

Honestly, when I set out to write this- this next point was what I was trying to get at and now I have alienated everyone with my babble- come back- come back!

In regards to Facebook, I feel kind of like the cool kid at school that was in on a trend a LOOONNNGG time before everyone else caught on. I'm constantly getting 'tagged' with 25 random things about me. (Hey try 100 things, bitches!)

Today I got the one word 'tag'- we call them memes, but that was sooo 6 months ago (as I stick my nose up in the air!)

So, as much as I enjoy being a total voyeur weirdo and looking into people that I went to high school with's lives through Facebook and hoping they got fat see how they're doing, I am becoming a Facebook snob. And don't even get me started on 'flair'!

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37 comments:

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

It's SOOOOOO annoying when people throw snowballs at you. C'mon, grow up.

The Panic Room said...

Facebook is the devil. I have an account and I just let it sit there and rot. I deleted my account well over a year ago and then they give you this option to click the little reinstate button in an email, and I clicked it the other day, and it all comes back. ALL of it. Like you never left. Creepy. Usually when I delete an account I like it to vaporize, but I know nothing ever does. Once it is posted it is posted and floating in Cyber Space for all of eternity.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I got on facebook and now I've decided that I don't like it as much as I do just plain ol blogging. I just realized how much the past no longer matters to me.

ella said...

I totally see your point. I had to tell my hubs about my blog, 'cause I was too stupid to get it all set up. But none of my friends know about it. I am NOT a big girl blogger---maybe I'm getting 10 hits a day on a good day. But I made those friends all on my own. I'm proud of that. And I never have to fear about bitching about my neighbor on the blog.
unfortunatly my KID saw my page one night and gasped "OMG mom, you have a blog?@?"
So I hope she minds her own beeswax and stays the hell away. but I don't bitch about my kids too much there.
Facebook feels like more pressure to me. I wanna be hip and cool and successful in the eyes of all my old friends. I won't even get started about all the friend requests from people I hardly know.

Anyways, this long winded comment is just to say "Wow--your post really spoke to me today".

Sera said...

Your sense of humor cracks me up - I just love it! Glad I'm not the only Facebook snob. I've got a post scheduled for midnight tonight for Mama Kat's Writer's workshop and I wrote a little ditty about the 80 zillion 25 things about me requests. So when I came over here to read your new post that part especially cracked me up because I wholeheartedly share your sentiments.

Mr Lady said...

I had to choose. I had to have Facebook be real life or blog life, because my blog is a TOTAL secret from my real life people.

In the beginning, I screwed up and added a handful of blog friends onto my Facebook. It was fine, I had my blog listed, etc, and then ALL OF MY INLAWS joined facebook.

In one day, I had to unfriend every blog person and completely change my profile, because I can't really say, "Um, grandmother of my children, I won't be your internet friend."

So now, Facebook is for reality only. I'm SHANNON there, you know? 'Cause, yeah, if they ever find this blog, I'm TOAST. :)

SOUP OF THE DAY said...

Boy, do I GET what you are saying. It's so nice to be anonymous.

Threeboys1mommy said...

She doesn't know who McMommy is? Pfft!... What's wrong with that girl ;-)

Sabrae Carter said...

Hey I'm on facebook to :) Just look me up and look for that trade mark picture of me sticking my tounge out! :)

Deb said...

i am having the same issue, suddenly. i didn't have anyone i actually deal with on a daily basis on facebook... then at a little super bowl gathering, all the moms started talking about their facebook pages and i let it slip that i have one and now they are trying to friend me. if they find out about my blog, i am screwed. big time.

Mrs4444 said...

I know a little about what you speak :) There are a couple of people I'm friends with on Facebook who I hope never find my blog, but mostly I'm an open book anyway. Great post.

Complicated Mama said...

after our convo on twitter the other night about the blog life and real life meeting.. I ended up blogging about it.

My DH's cousins found the blog- no idea how... so I had to pull so many postings that spoke ab my inlaws... and DAMN IT! They're my best material! lol

But I've decided Im not going to worry anymore ab who reads it.. if they see something they dont like- thats their problem.. they shouldnt have been snooping round' my "diary"

As for Facebook, it scares me to incorporate both worlds there. For the very example you sited... people making reference to it where everyone I know in RL can see. Im not "embarassed" by my blog, but I do feel like SO many people dont "get it".. and I dont feel like having to defend myself. My life is exhausting enough haha

PS- I swear to God if one more person "TAGS" me for "25 random things" Im going SCREAM!

O Yea and "PPS"- Memo to facebook: your applications are getting irritating. The flair I can take.. but the "Im your relative" "add your birthday to my birthday calendar'... "Mobsters"? ... Thats why everyone left Myspace!

..o and lastly- next time someone "sends me a Prada bag" it better be in the mail and not through the "fancy designer handbag application"

Deb said...

Tena,

You have just verbalized how I've been feeling lately!!! I like Facebook, but I really don't necessarily want my FB friends on my blog. Then there is a part of me that doesn't care and kind of hopes they read my blog and get shocked.

I refuse to do the 25 things about me thing. So sick of being asked.

HappyHourSue said...

If anybody asks, I am your friend from Freshman English who slept with the whole hockey team.

Jen said...

This post just reinforces for me exactly why I set up a separate FB for my blog. I felt kind of weird doing it (like I have an ultra-ego or something) but it is imperative that it stay a secret. I really don't think I would be able to keep blogging if I knew that there was a possibility that certain people were reading it. The people I have told have been sworn to secrecy but I am still worried the truth will get out. Also, there are only so many degrees of separation. One of these days, someone is going to see my face on a comment and go, hey isn't that Jen and that will be it.

Under the Influence said...

I'm with Dr. Lady. I keep FB separate from blogging. And I have only shared my blog with a few trustworthy friends, no family, except for those lurker family members who found me and kept reading without telling me. That was when I changed everything, went to nicknames and joined the witness protection program! My husband does read, but I am OK with that.

Tony said...

Tena,

I feel the same way. I actually have posted on my FB that if you really want to hang out with me come to my blog. I do not have time for the childish "Bovine Balderdash" that FB can throw at you. It is like asking someone to MEME 25 favorite things. who has the fucking time? And yeah, I am going to ask 25 other people let a lone 1 other to do the same in return and burn their time on such silly acts. -- Ok I better stop. What happened to the phone or email?

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL...I am basically clueless when it comes to FB...I prefer my blog...plus I keep getting friggin poked on FB WTH???

Everyone knows about my blog and I bet you at least one person i know IRL will think my post today was about them or pick one thing I will get an email or a phone call LOL...

Life is Grand...

The Daily Blonde said...

I say, "Fuck 'em" That's right. Jay at Halftime lessons said I could swear. I'm sick of saying "flipping". I love my blogging friends, my twitter pals and all of the other things that make a shitty day better. Blogging rocks...and you keep on doing what you're doing, Miss Tena. I love your straight forward style. If you were my neighbor, everyone else would move out and we'd have the street to ourselves.

I was not exactly the popular chick in high school. The star of the track team fell asleep on my at the prom and then he kissed me with no tongue. That was the extent of MY life in high school other than being a complete dorkwad.

Now...ha! I went to my 25th reunion 2 years ago (Shit, I'm old) and all the "boys" (who are now fat and ugly) who wouldn't give me a second glance asked if they could buy me a drink. The fake boobs help, I'm sure...but when I looked around the room at the asshole girls who didn't care to socialize with the geek (me) way back when, I wanted to laugh out loud. Talk about aging NOT SO GRACEFULLY.....I was happy to be a dork then and happy to be ME now.

So....the lecture is over. I'm so happy to know you here and don't change. Screw the Facebook shit heads that don't "Get" you. Transparent idiots.

There. I'm done. For now.

jill jill bo bill said...

OMG I am having the exact same issues. I have to think back, did I post anything mean about a HS classmate that could read my blog and kick my ass? The pressure is mounting. Some of my FB friends are from churches I went to long ago. Now I have to be all nice and never talk about people. Just kidding. I never was nice and they know that. Deal with it FB people.

the RaMbLeR said...

Perfect timing on this post for me! I have had about 5 'friends' trying to convince me to join Facebook. My answer is always "when am I going to have time for that, I am always in blogland"....of course these are bloggy friends not IRL. I appreciate the info, now I now not to waste my time. ;) I like my blog being seperate from my IRL friends/family. Hubby knows, kids know but none care to snoop. I also try to keep MY blog seperate from my baby's blog so no one gives info about MY blog on there and family/friends figure it out.

Great post!! Thanks!

Dr Zibbs said...

I only have blog friends in my Facebook.

A Buns Life said...

Facebook is REAL LIFE only. I do have blog friends on there, but I know them IRL, and they know not to out me. I have been tempted at times, to let certain people know about my blog, but then I slap myself back into reality and don't do it. Not because I am snarky or anything, but I do talk about a lot of personal stuff that I guess I don't really want "real" people to know about. You know?

Honeybell said...

Dude. I lurve my Facebook Flair.

In other news, I've recently had an infiltration of "People I knew in High School" on Facebook. These people are now reading my blog and sending me emails about it. Freaking WEIRD.

Patrice said...

Brilliant! So true, facebook really does want to be a blog! I happen to love facebook and blogging equally.. I can't live without either one! I did put my blog on my facebook.. I honestly don't mind if my IRL friends read it, I actually like it when they read it! It's rarely about them... rarely! hehe

PaulsHealthblog.com said...

I have a Facebook account too, that my techie wife set up. However, I never even think to go there and I do not know all that well how to navigate it.

Oh well.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

so, let me get this straight. You kinda like Facebook, but you love your blog?

yes, yes....I see now. As for the whole extra crap stuff on facebook-I just ignore it. I don't catch on and don't care to.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

lol...I feel the same way...I just wanted to link my 100 things post to the new "25"...but I digress...

I love your daily diary bull...makes me feel like I got cool friends....

Coloradolady said...

I know what you mean about keeping it separate. I SO wish I would have NEVER let my relatives know I had a blog. I have even considered starting a different one....and keeping it separate. It bugs me now that they (family) reads it....I can not say things I really want to say most times.

Mariah said...

My SIL gave me a 'wand' what the fuck do I do with it? I keep the two separate for thesame reasons, my mom is on FB and sh was all who is tjstaab? and does she read your BLog and why can't I read your blog? Cripes, it was too much. Did you get the email I sent you in reagrds to the Beotch blog? It's a venting 'team blog' but it's private and secure. I sent it to you yesterday.

Soxy Deb said...

If one more person gives me an egg or kidnaps me I swear to Jehovah I will find them and beat the snot out of them.
I am trying to be like all the cool kids, but I don't get FB yet. I just started trying to get in on the "fun" though, so I'll ive it some time.
As far as real life mixing in...(*shiver) that's as scary as finding out I'm adopted and Roseanne Barr is my real mother.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

This was great! I thought of keeping the lives separate, but as you may know I've failed miserably at that and no longer care.

I'm totally sending you a growing pet or some such crap! ;-p

Brittany said...

I swear to God, if I get one more piece of flair, I will punch someone in the throat.

Brenda said...

I have avoided facebook like the plague. This post just reinforces that! I want no part of it. I keep getting e-mails from my friends who are on it, asking me to join. No Way!

I'll take my blog, I'm anonymos, and can talk about my family and kids and friends and other people who annoy me without having any fall out.

None of them know I blog!!

Allison said...

Wait, what? You don't love Lil Green Patches thrown your way???

Eudea-Mamia said...

LMAO!

I think it was Soxy Deb that I told "Facebook is for people who aren't creative enough to blog."

Who's the Facebook snob now?

I'll tell you guys anything - but I find myself tongue tied on Facebook. Too many people poking around.

Did you hear the other day MySpace kicked off 90,000 (yes that is 90,000) sex offenders? If that ain't enough to make you shut down every account, I don't know what is. Em

McMommy said...

Of course she wants to know who this McMommy is!! She's just jealous of my silhouette FB avatar, obviously.

(p.s. If you need to defriend me on FB because worlds are colliding, I won't be offended. Swear.)