Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Feeling no pain, still.

I'm still loopy and juiced up on the prodigious potion otherwise known as NyQuil. It's a much better feeling than the fire in my lungs after trying to clear my sand papery phlegmy throat- and an added bonus- I sound pretty damn sexy- like Kathleen Turner circa Body Heat (for you youngins out there- she was a sensual seductress prior to her female to male transition.)

I thought I'd whip out a post before I'm comatose from my most recent swig (which in my estimation, I have about 20 minutes left.)

During my morning rounds (that's what I call when I bless everyone with my witty repartee in comments after reading all of my favorite blogs)- a few things dawned on me...

First, I'm not all that witty, after all. Which reminds me... back in the day when I used to smoke pot. I thought I was sooo fucking funny under the influence of Marijuana! I seriously used to tell my friends that I should do an improv night, but ONLY if I was high. And I guess the whole audience would have to be high, too.

And second, I should have a breathalyzer at my keyboard! If the regret of last night's post and an e-mail to a fellow school parent that discernibly displayed the fact that I was 1.)drunk and/or 2.)illiterate (either way- scoring MAJOR mom points) wasn't enough to get me to STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD- the universe has stepped in... in the form of comment moderation...


1.) locas- as in 'crazies' - oh yeah, I may be drunk, but my 7 years of Spanish doesn't fail me. You read that right, I took 7 years of Spanish and don't speak a lick of it, loca does mean crazy, right? Even the comment moderator little dude in the computer knows that I'm not right in the head!

2.) focusn- as in I'm having a hard time 'focusn' on the computer screen and I feel a little dizzy. And the fact that I keep using a different sized font isn't helping- it's like a self-induced vertigo- or is it just me?

3.) ignrhgn- as in 'ignoring hygiene', which I totally am because I'm sick and have every right!

Finally, I've learned that learned that it's really hard to type when you're doped up on NyQuil- so excuse my spelling errors. Now I must rest.

update: I've kept that error there to give you full effect- I had no idea it was there until I woke up to go pick up my kids from school (in less of a haze and making a stop at the pharmacy!)- yes, I'm behind the wheel of a car- so watch out!



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25 comments:

alanna rose said...

As far as hygiene is concerned, at least your toes look good :)

Loved the email you sent out!

Allison said...

I am just jealous. That's really all I've got.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I'm feeling the need for some Nyqil now. Cough, Cough...at least the day will go by faster!!

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Deb said...

omg, now you're hallucinating.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I hope you don't sneez on the monitor...I don't want what you have...and I am TOTALLY as witty as I think I am...

Kristina P. said...

Can I give the breathalyzer test?

Deb said...

Isn't NyQuil supposed to be the NIGHTIME sniffling ,sneezing,coughing, aching, stuffy

I forgot the rest...but can you really take it during the day? Apparently not.

Deb said...

Shit. I just read the post before this. I'm an idiot. Perhaps if I were high I would be more together. Or, I may have to resort to NyQuil

Soxy Deb said...

"Finally, I've learned that learned that it's really hard to type when you're doped up on NyQuil- so excuse my spelling errors. Now I must rest.

As long as you've "learned that learned that", then it's ok. Cause doublin up on anything is ok in my book. Now where's my shot glass??

Dawn said...

I was reading your post from yesterday last night in bed (on my phone) and I was cracking up!!! You are funny!

I hope you feel better soon.

You're making me want to take Ny-Quil now! LOL!

♥georgie♥ said...

ahhhh the magical effects of Nyquil...I keep a bottle by my bed,in the medicine cabinet,in the pantry,under the sink,in my car,in the china cabinet,in the back of my closet, in my panty drawer.....what??? a girls gotta be prepared

Under the Influence said...

It might be easier to type if you put the Nyquil bottle down instead of swigging sips while typing. : )

Word verification: cussion - If you don't stop imbibing Nyquil you are going to get a cussion.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

You make me laugh with your "Adventures in Nyquil".

Steady On
Reggie Girl

ella said...

God Bless Nyquil.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Maybe a Swig of Nyquil a day will keep the Doctor away!

Maybe a Swig of Nyquil a day will keep the Doctor away!

You are funny!

You are funny!

Tena id you start seeing double I would head to the Doctor.

Lee of MWOB said...

I'm scared of taking NyQuil and I don't care what you think about you but when I'm high, I am FOR SURE funny!

:-)

My word verification is jackon....as in "I get so jackon'ed when I drink NyQuil."

kel said...

I heart Nyquil

Jenni Jiggety said...

You need to go lie down...friends don't let friends blog on Nyquil.

Amy said...

LOL, Aww I know your sick, but you get funnier!!!! It would be wrong to suggest you become an nyquil addict huh? Although I dunno 2 days now. How much alcohol is in that? On a plus side sick=weight loss lol

Wendy@RuensOnTheRun said...

I hope you start feeling better real soon! Funny thing is, I'm not taking Nyquil right now and my own last post is full of nonsense words...

Halftime Lessons said...

OMG I LOVE nyquil.

Deeeeeeeeelish.

And it might be the nyquil talking, but you're hot. Toes and all.

Ok. If you need me, Ill be making out with my Nyquil bottle.

Threeboys1mommy said...

KATHLEEN TURNER!!! HUBBA HUBBA!

Leslie said...

I wish I was high on Nyquil right now, it's such a good sleep.....but I'm not sick, hmmmm.

the RaMbLeR said...

OMG!! I LOVE MY NYQUIL!!

I just posted about takin MY Nyquil and leaving hubby in charge a couple of days ago.

Did someone freakin put pot in my brownies again? Cause you freakin crack me up!!

Jill said...

Awe man... what I wouldn't do for a little Nyquil right now. I'm thinking it would dull the pain of my way-too-large stomach on my small body.

Remind me again why people do this pregnancy thing over 35?