Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Yo! I need help!

The husband's home from work today and the next three days-OH JOY! If you are newish here, you may not know that that statement comes from a deep dark sarcastic place.

The mid-life crisis that I have diagnosed him with apparently includes, but is not limited to, watching the movie Rocky Every. Waking. Hour. His favorite is the original, but he does not discriminate and has the whole series, but is becoming particular to the finale Rocky Balboa- which I got him on Blu-ray for Christmas (little did I know I was feeding his disease!)

When he does come out of hiding from his alter ego in Philly (only to raid the kitchen)- his only words are quotes from the movie! Said in his best (which is awful)Sly impression! I can't tell you how many times I've been called "Yo Adrian" in the last few months! Or how many times he says to me and the kids "You're a Bum!" Or how many times he has come down and said "did you get the license numba?" in his dumb guy dialect ... the first time he said it- we all fell for it-"what license number?"... which, in turn made him giddy, almost orgasmic, that he could respond, "the license numba of the truck that ran ova ya face!" HAHA? Funny the first time, fine! Not so the 2nd, 3rd, or 24th!!! His English speaking skills are disintegrating, "Yeah, that don't matter. 'Cause I was nobody before"

He calls our 7lb Shih- Tzu/Bichon mix dog, Murphy, Butkus (Rocky's 100lb English Bulldog!)

These movies never did anything for me and either does his lame ass romantic gesture... "I think we make a real sharp couple of coconuts - I'm dumb, you're shy, whaddaya think, huh?" Say that to me again and I'm going to pull Clubber Lang on your ass (for those that don't speak fluent "Rocky"- that's Mr.T's character that beat Rocky in their first match).

Beebs came down the steps this morning- humming da-da-daaaa-da-da-daaaa-da-da-da-da-da- (theme to Rocky) while waving her fists in the air- I think it's safe to say it's time for an intervention.


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27 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

I've been in my "quoting GoodFellas" phase.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

OMG That is funny! I feel your pain. I hate when my hubby gets stuck on something and then it stays with him for the next few months. I can only take so much!

Poor Murphy, I mean Butkus!

I can picture Beebs doing that! At least she is not saying "Fuk It" anymore.

Under the Influence said...

Fix him a nice cocktail of raw eggs for breakfast and maybe that will snap him out of it!

jill jill bo bill said...

If you come home and a slab of beef is hanging in your kitchen and the hub is wearing a toboggan, I am almost sure that is grounds for divorce.

Tony said...

I triple dog dare you to switch out his Rocky movie while he is in the finding pie hole supplies with a good old fashioned chick flick. LOL

My wife and daughter do this type of grab onto a saying thing - drives me crazy. I always tell them. "Get some new material wannabees."

bsouth said...

Try unplugging the DVD player. Failing that, whack him round the head with aforementioned DVD player. Should sort him out!

Mary Moore said...

You poor, poor woman.

My husband is like this with Die Hard. And Roadhouse.

God help us.

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Yo! I am laughing. And yes at your expense. Sorry but that is too friggin ' funny and so are these brilliant comments. The raw eggs and the hanging slab of beef ....HA HA HA!!!

Maybe you should enroll him in some boxing classes to help with his crisis and to get his ass kicked!! It'll save you from doing it. :-)

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Jeezus. AT least he has a sense of humor. I am more than likely to act out all of teh above and Mr.T would find it not one touch funny.

Soxy Deb said...

Tell him if he keeps subjecting you all to this Rocky obsession, he is gonna eat lightning and crap thunder. And say it in your best Mick voice.
That'll scare him...

bernthis said...

Don't ever buy him the box set of the Sopranos

Complicated Mama said...

Ive never been able to sit through ONE Rocky movie, nevertheless ALL of them all the time!... AND its rubbing off on the little ones?? ...AHHH ! Sounds like a nightmare..a INTERVENTION .. ASAP! :)

Jenni Jiggety said...

I think you need to stage a chick-flick intervention! I say a night of Steel Magnolias, Beaches, and Pretty Woman oughtta do it!

Eudea-Mamia said...

My advice, make sure to block Rocky on your new TiVo (WTH!?!).

Congratulations!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I feel your pain and am glad I am not you....

The Panic Room said...

I happen to be a recovering Rocky addict. It was bad for awhile and the only thing that cured it was getting addicted to other movies with hilarious catch phrases like zoolander and then Superbad. But YEAH I had a serious problem.

Amy said...

OMG I can;t stand that Sly guy. I'd have to nip that one in the butt fast. the damn rocky movies have been on tv too! I told the man,,, um noway

Deb said...

Oh my. Don't tell him I live near Philadelphia, and can go see the Rocky steps in about 20 min.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Two Words. FOX NEWS. It's what I get all day, every day bc I work from home and my hubs is a stay at home dad. Help me. Be strong...have faith...and fight the good fight. (pun intended.)

Kasey or Karen said...

I really feel for you, my hubby went through a Top Gun phase that drove me crazy! Thankfully he never started quoting Tom Cruise:)

Tiffany said...

Oh my.

My son's favorite song right now is "Eye of the Tiger".

Intervene. Before it's too late and he goes Rambo on your ass.

Tiffany said...

I hear this quote from the 2nd one. "hey Woman, HEY WOMAN." That's Mr. T saying it.

All my hubby has been watching is damn Road House and Major Payne. Dammit why did I teach him how to use the DVR?

Oh and Butkus was a bull mastiff. I have a english bulldog and if her fatass isn't 100 punds then NO english bulldog ever will be.

The Daily Blonde said...

I think your husband can qualify for some sort of state aid for his dual personality issue.

Kidding.


Sort of ...well,I'm not known to be compassionate about things like this: tell him Rocky is all washed up.

Scope said...

What's my predition? Pain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1TxiVhrkZA

Sorry, couldn't resist. Can't imagine nobody beat me to it.

And seriously people, what's wrong with "Road House"? Next time you see him naked, say, "I thought you'd be bigger."

Threeboys1mommy said...

Okay my mid life crisis movie- Step Brothers

Husbands mid life crisis movie- Dan in Real Life!!! What's wrong with this picture?

... Have you seen DIRL? Steve Carrel is a widower in that movie, I'm thinking that's what appeals to him.

Sabrae Carter said...

I hid the Rocky movies from the wife! lol She was as bad as your hubby!

Mrs4444 said...

That's awesome! I think he sounds cute. NO, I don't want him.