Thursday, February 12, 2009

Friday Fragments


Yesterday was a really shitty day- I take that back- it's been a pretty shitty week- as evidenced by my lame and inebriated attempts at posting.

This is precisely what my head looked like this week! Get one of your own from Wordle- they're pretty cool. It's an artistic rendering of the words on your blog. Notice (I know it's really small, but take my word...)that the 'NyQuil' is very big on the left side and the word 'accountability' is very teeny on the bottom- yep, I think that's about right!

So I will attempt to purge out all of my anxieties in a nice little package Mrs.4444 likes to call Friday Fragments...

*** I have never had a desire to be a teacher- I just know I don't have it in me- the patience, the understanding, the accountability (there's that damn word again!)- and what not- but yesterday's quiz has reaffirmed that! Ya'll didn't do so hot- and I feel like the failure! Have I taught you people nothing? If you haven't taken it yet... skip to the next- I'm giving a cheat sheet...the answers: Random and honest, Murphy, c*** rhymes with blunt, I'm not good with rules and don't enter contests, Hillary Clinton, Christmas, a gay husband, housekeeping, Nell Carter and Sarcastic Mom.

*** NyQuilapalooza has ended, at least for me. My 14 yr. old son now has the same thing I had and has been 'sleeping it off', with the help of the good stuff (not really, the good stuff is gone, I went and bought the generic for him, which I'm sure is just fine at half the price.)

*** I have been really anxious this week- I guess a diet of caffeine, acetaminophen, and dextromethorphan might do that to you. I have drafted about 14 posts- each with one sentence- before I realized it was crap and moved on. Usually to the loving open arms of Twitter- that's where I go when anxiety and tremors get too much and my attention span isn't long enough to complete a full sentence. I'm feeling a case of Joaquin Phoenix coming on...

*** I thought my dog was house-trained, but he has recently decided that the 'go to' place to take a shit is my bedroom! So as soon as I hear him running up the steps, I run after him screaming, "NO MURPHY- OUTSIDE!!!" I have been catching him in mid bowel and am able to get him outside- before it drops- so. fucking.gross!

*** Deb at Dirty Socks and Pizza is doing First Post Friday today- such a great idea! When I go to a blog I always try to go back and find that person's first post. Many are very good- mine was kind of a pathetic overview of who I was and what I planned to do. It takes me a while to get warmed up.

*** I need a job ASAP! Preferably one with benefits, great hours, and a Blackberry. Or maybe just one that pays. Anyone?

*** I don't like Valentine's day. If you like Valentines Day, just skip this- it is an anti-Valentine rant... My husband doesn't have a romantic bone in his body (nope, not even that one!) and, frankly, I don't have the energy for that bullshit right now. I will accept the annual half eaten box of his favorite chocolates that he will give me, knowing full well that I am on a diet. Then I will complain about how he doesn't know me, doesn't care to know what I like and ask when was the last time he did something for me? Then I will listen to how he "works so hard and brings home a paycheck" and what the hell do I do, except sit at the computer all day talking to my 'pretend friends' ... yeah, merry fucking valentines, cupid!

*** Speaking of Valentine's Day, have you ever known anyone that said Valentimes -over the age of 8? I do, and I swear, it's like nails down a chalkboard, she's 38 and also says supposebly and irregardless, clearly not the brightest crayon in the box! I'm related to her by marriage and that's all I'm saying!


*** I would like to go to Blogher. I don't even have Blogher ads, but I think it would be a kick ass time, but I would sooo have to lie to my husband about where I was going- he would definitely not be cool with meeting a bunch of my 'pretend friends' from the computer- he'd use words like 'pedophile', 'lesbian lover', 'predator', and 'body bag'- so, my question to you... whoever is going- how do you explain this weird phenomenon that is blogging to someone that doesn't get it so they would be OK with a weekend trip?

*** I have been asked to 'review' one product on my blog. They were glasses, WTF? I don't get it? I mean I really don't get it. Tiff and Soxy Deb have been busy 'reviewing products'- you know- the kind of products you 'review' when your husband is working late or sleeping on the couch and you just watched The Notebook. How do I get that gig?

*** I am going to have a Valentine's weekend filled with 'reviewing products' and will see you all for weigh-in on Monday! Hopefully the Dove's chocolates I bought for myself my kids won't show up on the scale! Shhh.

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35 comments:

Dorsey said...

I think my hubby is in lust with you now. ha! He and I BOTH laughed uncontrollably at "body bag..predator..etc..." And I love that "lesbian lover" made it into the list!! HA! Don't know what I'd tell him besides.."And someone else paid..its NOT charged on your credit card!" That'd be all he'd care about..."How much is this costing me?" ha! Good luck with the escape..maybe you're just going out for smokes? LOTS of smokes, hence the luggage....hmmm?

Under the Influence said...

Not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I don't really know why, but my hubs and I feel the same way about it. There may be a card for us, there may be cards for the kids, but even that is not guaranteed.

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

My husband also thinks it's weird that I would want to go to Blogher. However, I got a great laugh at the comment about them being "pretend" friends.

Threeboys1mommy said...

Uhm that's exactly why I can't go to Blogher, that and I have no desire to go anyway. I mean I'd be keen on meeting my imaginary friends but blogging seminars? WTF!?! Also I'm completely against you getting a job unless you can Twitter from your desk, make sure you ask at your interview before you sign anything mmK!

Deb said...

I have always wanted to be someone's imaginary friend. In celebration of our pretend friendship, I will have to eat Dove hearts too.

Get a pic of the dog mid poop...good blog material.

Jen said...

I swear our husband's are twins separated at birth. If I have to hear one more time how hard he works while I'm "playing" on the computer I am going to rip my hair out.

PS I just took a peak at your first post and noticed that we started blogging exactly one day apart. My first post was on April 11th. Funny!

Jen said...

My husband basically thinks that Blogher is a "freak-fest". He didn't care about the fact that it would cost several hundred dollars or the fact that I would be leaving an 8 week old baby at home - WITH HIM, ALONE, no no...he didn't freak out until I mentioned I would be meeting some gals I talk to on the internet. What a twerp.

alanna rose said...

I'm with you on the correct pronunciation of Valentine's. I know someone who says "southmore" instead of sophomore. Makes me want to punch her.

jill jill bo bill said...

I am on board with that damn product review. I got a damn hair remover that doesn't work worth crap. And I almost wish I had patients way up there so I could hire you. Or at least do lunch every day. Do you want a job that's flexible or something 8-5? Email me.

Annie said...

Maybe you should sub? I guarantee you'd get blogs for life in about a week.

Maggie May said...

dog crap in the wrong place is the bane of my existence.

BrandyEllen said...

First time I have been to your blog, thought I would read your Friday Fragments! Great post, thanks for sharing!!

Lee of MWOB said...

DUDE! I love this rant. I love the Valentimes thing - my old hairdresser used to say that and she was gorgeous with a great bod and big boobs and she always had dudes swooning all over on Valentimes Day. They never cared that she didn't say it right. The boobs distracted them.

BlogHer - I'm dangerously close to going too but I have a guy who wouldn't mind a bit. You need to sit down with your man, and very seriously tell him what this means to you. I mean, if you present it from the heart and explain that this outlet has become a big part of your life and you want to take it a step further, don't you think he would understand??? Try it.

And I'm going now to read your first post.

:-}

Mandy said...

I always love your Fragments. I dislike Valentine's Day as well and sometimes I wonder why I am a teacher. :)

Leslie said...

I thought about going to Blogher too, but my fiance thinks that same way as your husband, that it's all very creepy. They just don't get it....sigh.

Post To The President said...
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Post To The President said...
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The Panic Room said...

Geez! I suck today. I'm in such a funk

Take him with you? Who would pass up a trip to Chicago? I mean I would go and just eat deep dish pizza in front of that magic mirror bean the entire time. for 3 days. It would be awesome.

Sorry about the delete up there. I was still logged in from other moderating duties.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I would not mind going to blogher but I feel like a wanna-be blogger and not good enough. I don't want to be the outcast blogger crying in the corner!

I was asked to review the same products as Tiff & Deb but ahem,,,am a tad gun shy about doing so. I am gonna wait for someone to send me out a cheesecake to review!

Manic Mom said...

Product reviews? What kind of product reviews are you talking about??????? HA HA
Happy Valentime's Day...I mean Valentine's. I'm just trying to aggravate you. ;-)

Miss Yvonne said...

Ooooh, I know so many people that use the word "supposebly". I grit my teeth everytime I hear it.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

AH! The pronouncement thing makes me batty. My mom says "OFRAH".

I want to beat my head in when I hear it.

And Nyquilpalooza? Possibly the best I have ever heard.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

Imaginary friends in our computers are the ones that "get" us, right??? And I hate Valentine's day, too!

amelia bedelia said...

I'm with ya on the anti valentines day. No romance here either! Usually a card is about all that I get around here!!! And I remember your Nell Carter post!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

oh my - you said so much _ dont' know if I can remember everything- 1st - I am going to Blogher on Friday - ONLY - can't do both day s- have not told hubs yet and likely will NOT - I have not decided what I will tell him about why there is a babysitter at our house all day long - BUT - I will think of something - my husband says the same as yours - we really can't even discuss it now - just becomes a shouting match!
V
Vday - sucks arse and it so stupid! send him to iMommy - she has a great post that may inspire your hubs!

and that dog - seriously - outside forever!!!!!!

Mrs4444 said...

Your husband is a cop; I know that you know there is no way he is going to support your going to BlogHer (cops are suspicious of EVERYONE). However, you have painted him as not being the sharpest knife, so maybe you can get away with a lie? JUST KIDDING! Mr.4444 thinks it's fine. However, he has no idea how much it costs; I'll try to avoid that conversation...

the RaMbLeR said...

Alright chic! I need you to set your comments where I can go down the list!! I'm sitting here literally LMAO, commenting in my head but I can't type fast enough before it all floats right out! LOL

When you get your answer for the weekend trip with your lesbian lover, can you let me know how you slipped that past Hubs, cause mine is the same way! ;)

V-day...hmmm, this one will be my/our 22nd anniv.... but honestly, just another day! no big trip to some fancy get-a-way. Again, hubby's alike, no romantic bones! darnit!

ugh...wait...just read up there...I'm not looking for a weekend away with my lesbian lover, I don't have one....I just meant how to get away...now I'm explaining too much...never mind..

K...and don't take my measly week score on your quiz personally, I only found you my twitter friend, a couple weeks ago! and I DID get SOME answers right....AND most importantly - I SUCK at taking anything remotely close to a test!

IF you happen to look at my first posts, be warned I'm still under construction over there and I went (backdated) some posts for future tabs...therefore not my 'true' first post. ( I think I might have stuck in after the first one though)...darnit! Now I have to go read yours and then go check my own out... if it sucks too bad maybe I can change it before anyone else reads it. ;)

btw-this week has sucked for me too..maybe just one of those weeks..I had to pass on my FF for today for fear of running everybody off. Dang...I think I just wrote my post over here... sorry-hope you don't mind.

the RaMbLeR said...

ummm...BTW-I took the liberty of sending people your way... ;)

Do you feel used? lol... I posted about my comment to your post.

Soxy Deb said...

For the record, I also got asked to review an SPF lotion. You know, the stuff old people need. And something for "eye floaters". I don't even know what that is.
But Big Blue was hands down (well of course I can't really put my hands down) the best.

Glad you found your way out of the Nyquil induced stupor. Although your posts are pretty good when your doped up too.

My 'first' post didn't show up in the reader for some reason. So now I'm having to go blog to blog to beg people to go over and read it. Humor me would ya?

Deb said...

i know a woman that says "vietmanese" instead of vietnamese. she's no einstein, fo shiz.

i hate vd too. that's why i just sent my hubs skiing with the difficult child. better to just get them out of my hair for the weekend.

i want to go to blogher too!!! surely we can hatch a plan.

Dawn said...

My 11 yr. old daughter insists on calling it Valentime's day. Ugh!! Drives me crazy!

I want to go to BlogHer too. I want to meet all those awesome people and maybe learn a thing or two.

I hope your Valentine's day has turned out okay after all. :)

Sabrae Carter said...

Ok I have an idea!!! Since your hubby already thinks that I'm trying to steal you from him becuz I'm gay you should totally come to BlogHer 2010 with me and the wife!! We would show you a kick ass good time!! lol

ella said...

my kid's b-day is today, so no more ValentiNes for me...it's all about HIM.
I think just that you got asked to review a product is very impressive.
I missed going to Blogher when it ws in my own backyard (san fran). i don't have any desire to go to chicago.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I really REALLY want to go to BlogHer...if I can scrape the cash together I will be there. I will just tell my husband I am going to learn to cook or something and he will happily send me on my way...

Tiffany said...

I didn't get a fucking thing for VD either. But I AM reviewing another toy soon. Just comment the shit out of that post and you might get asked to do your own reviewing. *wink wink* That's how Deb got asked I think.