Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bribery AND Wednesday's Mystery Guest Post #4!

Today is the GIVEAWAY day! Woo Hoo! As you know, I am on vacation and have been hosting some dear friends and giving them a platform to curse and say inappropriate things- they're doing awesome- don'tcha think?

In an effort to keep you coming back for more and giving them comment love- I am going to try to buy you off. That's right, I'm not above bribery. So tell everyone you know that they could WIN something and get their asses over here!

All you have to do is tell me the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you on vacation. Did you throw up on a roller coaster? Maybe you peed in a Pepsi can in the car so you didn't have to go to a rest stop while talking about it on a walkie- talkie to your sister's car and the frequency picked up complete strangers listening to you talking about not having 'good aim' and how the opening of a Pepsi can is far too small of a hole for a woman to be expected to pee in (oh, wait, that was me!) Anyway, you could win this:
Are you getting hungry? Well, it's not a cupcake, but a bath bomb- cool, right? So, if your kid says "Fuck it" you can tell them to eat this cupcake and you will be washing their mouth out with soap without any forceful restraint!

You can find this at Unique Diva Boutique along with cute hair bows like this:

The winner can choose between the cupcake bath bomb or your choice of hair bow (go see all the different ones!) OR- if you want it to be all about you (and who doesn't) you can choose a Mineral Girlz eye shadow or lip gloss from the same site (men- every woman likes a lip gloss!)

I will pick a winner from those brave admissions of mortification. Thanks to Unique Diva Boutique! Go and visit- some fun stuff!

On to today's Mystery Guest Post: Today's has a clue- the title is:

"Colder Than a Witch's ..."

The clue? This person does not use the word "tit"- that should narrow it down, right? ... I present Mystery Guest Post #4...

Dear Lovely State that I Live In,
There's something called transitions.
Look into it!
Love, Me
I swear there is no easing into anything around these parts.

Either super hot and we're all whining that we're sweaty and can't cool down.

Or we are freezing our buttocks off.

No in-between, ever.

Today is a cold day. My fingers are actually numb as I type.

My coffee that was just poured into my new mug is now tepid at best.

I'm wrapped in a blanket, socks on and i'm chattery.

Last week I had the A/C on all day. And, by A/C I mean the freakishly small window unit that cools down a 4 foot square space in front of it pretty darn well.

The baby is screaming for her "big money."

That's her one dollar silver coin that's lost.

It's going to be a doozy of a day.

Mystery Guest Post #4

don't forget to comment your guess and your embarrassing moment!

post signature


Terri said...

put us on the spot why don't you Tena? We were going to florida on a family vaca and stuck at the airport, it was late and I was tired. You know what's coming right?'s.bathroom. I was mortified. I made it all they way to the stalls, PAST the urinals before it hit me. Luckily no one inside saw me, but several people were grinning and snickering as I quickly slunk out of there and into the door right next to it marked "women".

Anonymous said...

Ok well per usual, I'm still sucking at the guessing game, but I do have a travel story that would have embarrassed me if I was old enough to remember it.

I was about 2 or 3 years old on a trip with my father - I think we might have been in Vegas but if you'll remember, I don't remember. Anyway, I'm sick. Like puking and pooping simultaneously sick. And as my father is checking into the hotel, apparently I pulled his shirt out and puked inside of it. Seriously.

So the hotel clerk says, "Sir did you know your daughter just thew up?" and my dad is all, "No SERIOUSLY? I must have missed that." So there's all the usual hooplah of checking in, probably a problem with a credit card or something and a sick kid puking on you but finally he gets the keys and gets me inside the hotel room and remembers he forgot a bag in the car. For whatever reason he decides it will be quicker if he leaves me there and runs to get it.

Now as a panicky mother, looking back at this I'm thinking, "Dude, you left me in the hotel alone? Dangerous much?" But I was two so I didn't care and let's be frank, hauling a sick two year old down stairs to get one bag and then coming back up... with 2 year old - could be an hour long adventure. Without two year old? He'd be back in t-minus 2 minutes. Ok, fine, I'll consend but seriously - dangerous.

I think on some level I comprehended this because after making sure the door was locked, I stripped down my clothes and started dancing! And puking! And dancing! Guess what, my dad forgot the hotel key. Hahahahahahah - Dance some more!

So my mortified father realizes he's forgotten his key and has to get the hotel clerk to let him back in and they peep in the doorhole and see a naked two year old puking and dancing it up like it ain't no thang. hahahaha

I'm pretty sure they kicked us out. Fun huh?

Anonymous said...

ok I got caught up in my story but I wanted to mention to NotTena, that I'm sorry it's so cold.. or hot.. My state can be kind of like that but I'm guessing not to the extreme of yours. Unless we live in the same state - then insert my complaints here. Seriously.

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm guessing poster is Legal Diva at the Reasonable Person - a good Southern Girl.

Embarassing vacation moment: has to be the seagull taking a crapper on my head while in Jamaica with my parents. Like being 13 and hanging out with your parents on a beach isn't embarassing enough.

One of the only times I actually witnessed my mother laughing AT me. Behind her hands, of course. She said it was "good luck." Whatever chica.


Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

crap...I wanted the cupcake!! I have NO embarassing moments that come to mine...unfortunatly, I think maybe I should ask someone who is not bias...but I'm can I have my cupcake?

DJane said...

Okay so obviously I can't win the cupcake since I am the one giving it away but I thought that should not exclude me from telling an embarassing story.

So I don't remember this personaly, just been told since I was young... My aunt who lives in TN came to visit us for a small family vacation here in TX. My parents and aunt took us all to some festival and I got tired. I wanted to go sit in the car to take a rest so my aunt volunteered to take me. While my parents were finishing walking around. I told my aunt that I needed to go to the restroom so instead of her taking me to find a portable potty from the large parking lot (field like) we were in she told me to hang my butt out the window. YES! she did. She of course assumed I only had to pee. WRONG! So after I started pooping out the window of the car, she was too busy laughing so hard to stop me, again at this point it is too late. So my aunt moves the car to a different parking spot and laughs as she watches people stepping in it while they walk to their own car. Most probably assumed it was dog poop. OMG I can't believe I just posted that story on the web.

Tiffany said...

I was on vacation with my grandparents and I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. So we pull the car over and I hustle/shuffle to the gas station bathroom. Except I trip and do a fucking split in the middle of the parking lot. I cut my leg but that nasty ass bathroom looked like heaven when i finally got there.

Annie said...

I don't know if it qualifies as vacation but on my one and only camping trip in college, I was with a bunch of sorority sisters and our "dates." We were camping by a lake and had been drinking all darn day. I had only peed outside once. Once. I drank so much I could feel the runs coming. All of a sudden I sharted. Yep, farted and shit my pants. I ran into the woods, stripped off my leggings and undies, threw the undies, I thought into the woods, wiped, and left the woods.
A tornado came in and we knew we had to get to cover. I was so mad that we were leaving all the tents I drummed up from my parents neighbors and was worried about having to replace them. "No time" my date said. So, I threw my shoe at him. It went over his head and into the lake. I hobbled to the car in the mud seeped ground and got completely saturated with one wet foot and mud.
So, I left, pantiless and with one shoe on.
Needless to say, the grand hook up I had planned with my date never happened.
When we returned to the camp site the next day, the tents were in tact and I had to avert the attention of all my friends as we searched for things displaced in the woods....for up above us loomed my pretty lacy pink panties with the tell all shit stain.

See....I need a bath, don't I!?!?

georgie said...

I am no good at guessing guest posters...

as far as embarrassing vaca stories-heck my entire life is one embarrassement after another

and it's hard to pick just one it would be a toss up about the time i ate/drank a bug in my coffee and had a complete meltdown in front of 8 other people or the time everyone dared me to ride a rolla coaster and I said i would BUT it would be my rolla coaster of choice which was NOT wildfire or thunderation it was the kiddie coaster and the dayum lapbelt would barely shut me in BUt I raised my hands in the air like i just didnt care and I have the pics to prove it

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

My embarrassing vacay stories are lost in my inebriated memory... sorry, I've forgotten them all and those that have witnessed them are keeping them to themselves and laughing behind my back!