I bring you Mystery Guest Post #1...ahem- can you say bitch? (Not the guest poster- just read it, you'll see what I mean)...
There is this lady who I see pretty much every day when I drop off at school. She is a skinny ass mother of 5 and drives a mini van. Harmless enough, and with all those kids, you’d think she’d be up for some adult conversation, maybe some jokes, and at least a little stinking smile. NOPE. She has to be the meanest faced, bitchiest mom there. Seriously, her daughter is in class with my child and I’ve numerous times tried striking up a convo. I am seriously friendly, and damn it, I’m funny. I could make a nun laugh. Not Evil Mom. No way, no how. So what is the big freaking deal you may ask? Why do I even care? Aren’t there enough other parents there I can converge on to heckle and bother and make their ears burn with all the hot air I blow?!?!? Well, faithful Tena readers, yes, there are. But often we are the only ones there at that given stinking moment. I’m not about to be rude and not acknowledge her. Here is why I find it so highly amusing……her license plate (which I almost took a picture of, but didn’t want to out myself by showing a state plate!) says PSALM 23. Yes, that is right, Miss High and Mighty is a Godly woman. Just so we are all on the same page, I looked up the verse to see what she was preachin’.
Psalm 23 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie
down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He
guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with
Now, I attend church, and I proclaim to be no saint. I cuss too much, drive too fast, and let my spawn eat ice cream for dinner on occasion. However, I don’t have a bible verse emblazoned on my mom wagon.
Apparently what Psalm does NOT say is this: The Lord is my Shepard so I will give eye contact when someone greets me. He teaches me common courtesy to say hello to other adults who are in the room. He does not like when I make a “Hmff” sound when I see a political advertisement of a party I am not apart of. He guides me in not saying “Your kid looks nothing like you. They must look like their father.” Pause “They are so cute.” He tells me I should fear no evil, except the wrath of the other moms who are totally bitching about me when I leave the room.
I’m wondering if I need to leave my version on her windshield?!?! Don’t you hate when people talk a talk but don’t walk the walk…no matter what the subject be it religion, parenting, politics?!?! Seriously…smile and say hello is all I ask. And just for the record when she asked about my child looking like my husband that really is true. Dang it, I won a pageant when I was 4. She really didn’t call me ugly, did she!??! Because if she did, I may have to whip out my bible and beat her with it.
Mystery Guest Post #1- now go and guess who it is in comments!