Monday, October 6, 2008

Marriage sucks

I must think I'm "something"- with my new look, huh? Stupid snob, thinks she doesn't even have to post anymore now that she looks all fancy! Well, that's not actually it. Frankly, with my new look, I was wishing I could jump in and write up the greatest post ever, but I have drafted a couple and they're all pretty shitty.

Damn life is getting in the way of wit, today. My husband is pissing me off. Trying to write a post without incriminating myself in his murder as a male basher has proven to be impossible.

I need a pick me up. I'm usually envious of women that have sweet doting husbands, but today is one of those days when I am jealous of single women! Drop me some comment love and tell me what your significant other does that just urks you.

If you don't comment, I will have to assume that I am the only woman in the world married to a buffoon- that can't be! If you have to - lie! Say his feet sweat, he doesn't know your zip code, phone number, or kid's ages, or he uses coupons in my car as dental floss- just a few ideas.

Whatever you do, do NOT tell me how perfect your significant other is- I can't take it- not today!

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30 comments:

Dorsey said...

No need to worry gal!! My hubby lists off things I could "get done around the house if I think about it" every morning!! Its his own honey do list for me and it drives me INSANE!! Then his parting words are "be productive"...UGH!!

Eudae-mamia said...

How about this - I'm having an anxiety attack from the dread of telling dear hubby that my parents are coming for Thankgiving.

He's like not-so-superman. Awesome until the in-laws show up, and then, in the blink of an eye and a telephone booth later - he's Asshole Man!

I hate the %$#@! holidays. Wake me up from my alcohol-induced stupor when it's January 2.

Em

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I love the new look of your site, and the new do you got going on too.

I am right there with ya sista, my hubby put a nice effing loud exhaust on my car and I am not happy. I can't even hear myself fucking think now. Ugh....MEN, what are they so flipping STUPID sometimes? So much for a surprise trip to the SPA or a thoughtful I am thinking about you note.....Ugh....

Honeybell said...

Oh dear.

I'm married to a man that IS NEVER EVER EVER WRONG. ABOUT ANYTHING.

How nice for me.

Mr Lady said...

One: Hot masthead.

Two: My husband went to Princeton. I graduated HIGH SCHOOL. Guess who's an overbearing know it all?

Seriously, that asshat thinks he knows EVERYTHING.

C said...

Do I have to pick just one? Because I have several, frankly!

And where are you guys getting all these fancy new blog designs? Something must be going around the internet b/c yours is the 4th blog today that has undergone a make over! I need some connections! It looks awesome.
~Christy

Mr Lady said...

Also, he has to tell me all about his morning poop every day.

EVERY. DAY.

Save me....

jill jill bo bill said...

OMG your new look is FAB!!!! All you need is her holding a big syringe of Haldol.

And because I have 20years of marriage hell on my resume to use against my NEW husband, he does know not to cross the line. He does smack in his sleep and it makes me want to smother him with my pillow.

And Mr Lady, I think I divorced your husband. Is his name John?

Cathie said...

Well when I leave the house Friday morning and come home to it Saturday afternoon-I go to school and work those two days-the house looks like a tornado ran through the house. Please KILL me now!

Soulfully Blonde said...

Mine is sarcastic, condescending and just plain nasty sometimes. I find myself asking many times why I married the worlds biggest a**hole. If I had any family or support I'd get out in a heartbeat.

HappyHourSue said...

Oh, thank God. I was starting to feel so alone because it seems like every damn blog I read is all :"I'm married to the perfect man".."I'm married to Prince Charming".

And to the people who commented on my vasectomy post about how 'good" he is to "let" me write about, let me just assure you, he had it comin'.

sltbee69 said...

Lets see:
1) Very opinionated and small minded at times
2) Thinks he knows it all
3) Master of excuses - has a reason for why he can/can't do for everything
4) Lazy as hell

Is that enough? Because I can go on.

The Mom said...

My hubby is an engineer...he over analyzes EVERYTHING...oh and due to Crohn's our toilet in our master bath will NEVER be the same, we've worn out the flusher!

TMI...sorry!

Annie said...

I won't break your rule.... so all I can say is my husband is way too cuddly/lovey/needy to be together for me. I'd like to be in a room alone and not hugged for a whole day. That would be nice.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Hmmm where should I begin...it could be that he has no idea how to feed the kids, unless he's told, the fact that he can't answer the phone if he doesn't recognize the number...or maybe it's that he constatly forgets to give me his debt card reciepts until I'm trying to balance the account and I'm missing 4 charges...should I continue?? I thought not...you are NOT alone...oh no, you are not alone.`

jaime said...

i could go on FOR DAYS! my husband thinks (LOVE YOU HONEY!) that because he works and i don't anymore that once he comes home he need not lift a fuckin finger. I call him the human tornado because he just leaves destruction in his path...and guess who's there to clean up the disaster??!!

Jen said...

My husband is pretty much never happy. He comes home in a grumpy mood because of work and then looks around the house for things to complain about that I didn't do. He used to be such a positive person and now he is just a grumpy old man. So, no perfect husband here.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

Hubby will be in the basement, I will be in the living room, and he will holler for me, so I have to get up and see what he wants. He won't come and talk to me face to face. It's like he's calling the dog.....

And then there is the tv and the remote. And the snoring. And the beer drinking. And the Life of the party attitude....oh man, I better go comment somewhere else : )

Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

My husband wets his hair in the morning as part of his "getting ready for work" routine....and manages to get water droplets all over our mirror, the countertops, etc. I'm surprised he gets any in his hair at all. And does he mop up after himself? Nope. Apparently, all that water in his hair soaks into his brain and dilutes his brain cells, disrupting the flow of logic. Ugh.

He also drives the car until there is a drop of gasoline left in it, knowing that I am usually running late in the mornings and don't really have time to refill the tank before dropping our daughter off at school....but since I am not going to be pushing our car in my jammies, I always stop and refill it while having that famous "argument-with-yourself" that all women in relationships seem to have at one point or another...you know, where you play both sides of the conversation and swear, rant, and basically look like such a lunatic that the homeless people are even scared of you.

lol. Gee, why am I married to him again?

Hopefully that helps ya feel a little better!

because I said so said...

Check my blog please.......

Lynette said...

Uh I had him tattoo the kids names on his arm so he wouldn't forget them?!! Will that work? Really tho, he remembers their names, I should have him put their birthdays under each name, that he can't remember to save his life!

I don't think my husband knows how to take out the trash. I mean, does he know where the trash cans are outside? Doubtful

He claims MY procrastination drives him crazy. We moved into this house a year ago in July. He just hooked up the surround sound to the TV last Friday. Uh yeah, he NEVER procrastinates, he tells me he gets it ALL done ASAP!

YEAH RIGHT!

Lynette said...

Uh I had him tattoo the kids names on his arm so he wouldn't forget them?!! Will that work? Really tho, he remembers their names, I should have him put their birthdays under each name, that he can't remember to save his life!

I don't think my husband knows how to take out the trash. I mean, does he know where the trash cans are outside? Doubtful

He claims MY procrastination drives him crazy. We moved into this house a year ago in July. He just hooked up the surround sound to the TV last Friday. Uh yeah, he NEVER procrastinates, he tells me he gets it ALL done ASAP!

YEAH RIGHT!

Mark Salinas said...

My wife is perfect! :)

Ann said...

Hey Tena,
Your new header is hot! Gorgeous! (Looks just like ya'!)
The only men I'm talking about today are the ones participating in the "gloves off" debate tonight.
Are you going to watch?
(Is politics part of the situation between you and your husband? Just wondering because my hubby gets upset with me being so, as he says, "one sided". I get emotional with these damn debates and I just want the Republicans outta' there.)
Anyway...
Come back over and let me know if you're going to watch tonight.

Gettysburg Mom said...

His occasional use of the "Royal We". "We" need to pay bills, "we" need to get the kids ready for bed, "we" need to clean the bathroom...

Linda S said...

omg, I didn't get to comment yesterday , but it would be about my ex and if I ever get a chance to "guest blog" I have a Y2K story that would make you feel like yours was an f'in Prince Charming.

I'm ff'ing a day to say thank you...

jaime said...

hey Tena...just stopped by again to read the comments and they cracked me up! hope you got a good laugh too...

* all men are the same- BIPOLAR! lmao!

Sabrae said...

ok tho i do not have a man as a life partner my wife is extremly messy! lol even tho im a bit late on the post! lol she is totally not into taking her clothes to the hamper or picking up her dishes or taking out the trash or throwing her trash away for that matter! lol but i still love her! guess that is what she has me around for :)

Tasha said...

I'm commenting! I'm commenting! New reader *wave*.

Tina said...

wow i wish i had saw your layout before cause this is a fab design ;)

thanks for stopping by my place :)