Monday, October 27, 2008

Did ya Miss me? Please lie and say you did!

So, I'm kinda doped up on Klonepin- I NEEDED it to get through the ride home. That being said, I HAD to stumble to my computer to check my 198 e-mails and read how the Mystery Blogger Event went- it has been eating away at me! So... this is kind of like drunk blogging... that should be fun...I will probably regret it in the morning, but I'm kind of used to that.

I have not downloaded any pictures from our trip yet and have not fully organized my thoughts of the good, bad and ugly moments (yes, they were all represented and yes, sometimes I organize my thoughts) that inevitably come from "family vacations"- I will save those for when I'm more coherent (with me, that's a relative term, so, let's just say, when I'm not drugged- legally, of course, they were prescribed for me!!!)

I wanted to immediately address the comments that I read and applaud everyone (Jill and Tiffany) for not abusing or twittering on my comments while I was gone- good for you! First, though, I wanted to say how much I missed everyone's blogs and comments and what a freak I must be for feeling like I missed out on all of the bloggy fun since I was laying on the white sandy beaches of the Gulf Coast- I really need to get a laptop or a life!

Few things that I have noticed... ya'll really have an apparent burning desire to have secret sex blogs- that was very insightful!

I love the comments left by the actual authors- very sneaky!

Poor Amy Bo Bamey lives in the back of the Target which reminds me of a really stupid movie called "Career Opportunities" and I think I may be the only person that ever saw it where a couple get locked in Target overnight. I always thought it would be soooo cool to live there. Much like "Where the Heart Is" where a pregnant Natalie Portman takes up residence in a Wal-Mart- I could go for that, too.

Anyhow, back to the contest... you all pretty much sucked- those of you that tried, anyway.

Jill Jill Bo Bill- you got one right and then second guessed yourself... didn't your mom ever teach you to go with your first instinct?

Tami- One right- I noticed I was tagged by her... read below...
Annie- One right
Eudea Mamia- One right
Tena- One right
Happy Hour Sue- One right
Amelia Bedelia- One right

BUT AMY BO BAMEY, the poor little girl living in the back of Target- got TWO Correct answers!!! Contact me privately so I can get your address to send you your lame ass shirt!

Here are the answers:

Sunday #1- Annie from Cookies, Chaos and Conversations
Monday #2- Mariah from the new and improved and no holds barred Manic Mariah
Tuesday #3- Eudea Mamia from Life, Liberty and the Pursuit
Wednesday #4 Jen The Mom from Cheaper Than Therapy
Thursday #5 Cheryl from The Daily Blonde
Friday #6 Jay from Halftime Lessons
Saturday #7 Will from Back to Barnwell
Sunday #8 Terri from This is How We Roll
Monday #9 I have no idea what her name is and that drives me crazy from Because I Said So

They were all so great- if you didn't get a chance to read them, go back or visit their blogs- they really came through for me and I owe them- not monetary or sexual favors, but gratitude!!!

And the winner of the embarassing vacation giveaway is Annie!!! It was so reminiscent of my drunken slutty sorority events that I couldn't resist rewarding her! And copying it for all to're welcome!

I don't know if it qualifies as vacation but on my one and only camping trip in college, I was with a bunch of sorority sisters and our "dates." We were camping by a lake and had been drinking all darn day. I had only peed outside once. Once. I drank so much I could feel the runs coming. All of a sudden I sharted. Yep, farted and shit my pants. I ran into the woods, stripped off my leggings and undies, threw the undies, I thought into the woods, wiped, and left the woods.A tornado came in and we knew we had to get to cover. I was so mad that we were leaving all the tents I drummed up from my parents neighbors and was worried about having to replace them. "No time" my date said. So, I threw my shoe at him. It went over his head and into the lake. I hobbled to the car in the mud seeped ground and got completely saturated with one wet foot and mud. So, I left, pantiless and with one shoe on.Needless to say, the grand hook up I had planned with my date never happened. When we returned to the camp site the next day, the tents were in tact and I had to avert the attention of all my friends as we searched for things displaced in the woods....for up above us loomed my pretty lacy pink panties with the tell all shit stain.

Ok and as for that tag- Tami- you asked for it- seriously, the deeper I dig (I just typed 'digger I deep'- so I'm sooo going to bed after this and I apologize if this makes no sense) the more the information is really TMI!!!

1.) My birth name is Athena- Greek goddess of knowledge, wisdom and warfare- I KNOW_ fitting, right? I am, however, not Greek, my mom just liked the name, but growing up, it was just easier to lie and say I was Greek instead of a daughter a freaky hippie.
2.) I HATE onions and lie at restaurants and say that I am allergic to them so they will not put them in my food.
3.) Since Annie had the balls to share that story, I will give a little one that I've been holding back... my college roommate's step brother (I swear his name was Bubba, but he was cute!) 'hooked up". On the headboard, I had a beer and a bottle of Drakaar Noir. I would take a swig and then spray him, take a swig and then spray him! Nothing got me going like that smell! I am still teased by the people that know about this!
4.) I know when I've had too much. One night (in college) I knew I was done, but the people I was with were insisting to keep taking shots. I would pour them on the floor under the table- and pretend I was drinking them.
5.) I am double jointed
6.) I have touched Lenny Kravitz's dread locks and loved it!
7.) I used to smoke a lot of pot, but never actually bought it- is that unusual? I guess I'm just a mooch.

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Dorsey said...

Yeah, I was a chicken shit...I just had NO clue who anyone was and knew I'd second guess myself until you came back. hehe

But I DID miss you, for sure! That being said, thanks for the entertaining idea of mystery guest posting. It was a blast to read!!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

Welcome back, this wa sa lot of fun!

Sabrae said...

So glad that you are back! Now I can read the posts again that make me think I'm not the only crazy person out there :) LOL

Deb said...

Welcome back!

Thanks for saying my guesses sucked. Made my day.

Enjoy the Klonopin high!

georgie said...

welcome back tena!!! you were missed...we sent out your SSS exchange partner let me know if you cant find it in your massive unread pile of emails

Cheryl said...

Yay! You're back. I was really afraid to comment on much of anything...had to hold back commenting on my own.

Great to have you back!

Mike Marshall said...

Welcome back sweet potato. Peace, Mike.

Linda S said...

glad you are back...your week long game was fun...but way over my head. not that that takes I can go back and make sense of it.

Tiffany said...

Welcome home!! I missed you so much! And all day I would think WWTD (What would Tena do?)

I realized after the 2nd day that I totally suck ass at guessing so I just stopped. LOL

Jill said...

Oh I'm so glad you're back... I sucked at guessing, so I gave up rather quickly. But I did enjoy your posts and had a chuckle at how everyone was so coy about giving away their identity!

But nothing beats you on your own blog!

Legal Diva said...

Dude that was the hardest guessing! I totally sucked at it, but at least I wasn't the only one!

Glad you made it home in one piece!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

WOW, I can't believe my only 2 guesses made me WIN. That was really hard to do. Now I really want to know who wrote that Target post that everyone thought was me LOL

Glad you are back, I missed you. Now will you start a secret sex blog :)

Diva said...

I missed ya, I think ;)

I stumbled in while you were gone a vacation... lucky, lucky girl on the beach.

Now that you're back, I can say, yes, I missed ya too.

The Mom said...

So glad you're back, and I joined twitter...sucked in! love it!

BacktoBarnwell said...

Thank God you are back! I decided to take my own week and a half long trip too and disappeared from blog land...although I didn't plan ahead for material to fill it like you did...Anyway, see you tonight, on Twitter?

manic mariah said...

Glad you are back! Iloved the Mystery blogging, such a great idea! i think AMy cheated. I think she snuck into my head and stole my two correct answers

#1Deb said...

I didn't play cause I couldn't commit to the whole week. Appraiser came and I had an assload of things to do.

Glad your back!! And congrats to the winners!!

Annie said...

So glad I won for shitting my pants. Lovely! :)
Welcome back to the 'hood!

Terri said...

I couldn't even attempt to guess because I don't know most of your blogroll, yet! I think it was a great contest though and the bit about Amy living in the back of Target was funny. Welcome Back Tena!

Tami said...

That mystery blogger crap was hard!!

Welcome back! I hated missing my blog friends when I was on vacation, too :)