Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday- Mystery Guest Post #2

Wow, if I didn't know better, I would have guessed that I wrote this... but no... so who is it?...



When Tena asked me if I wanted to be do a guest post for her I practically jumped out of my seat because there are a few things I need to say that I can't say on my blog. So thanks Tena for letting me hog up your space and bitch.

My mom has found out about my blog, it sucks big time, because I get these E-mails from her ALL THE TIME! E-mails like:

Dear *Jamie* (no, that is not my real name, but this is mystery blogger time…so roll with it would ya?)
I love your writing, you are very clever but I really think you should remove the cussing, it's not necessary and it sounds very vulgar…. Yada yada yada…
Love Mom

I reply saying:
Dear Mom,
My Blog is my place to vent and be me without criticism, sometimes cussing is necessary in order to get my feelings across…. Yada yada yada
I don't mind if you read it, but please don't judge it.
Love *Melody* (No Melody is not my name either)


Sometimes I just want to cuss and talk about boobs and sex. I really want to talk about the bag of sex toys that is hiding under my bed and the hot *massage* oil and how it intensifies sex. I would like to open up a question and answer section regarding sex, I think it would be hilarious, but I don't because *gasp* my mom might actually read it.

I sent my mom another E-mail, saying:
Dear Mom,
This is just a warning that I am going to openly talk about sex, so you may not want to read my blog over the next few days. If you do, just try to find the humor… yada yada yada…
Love *Juliet* (I love that name, but it's not mine)

She replied:
Dear *Harmony,*
If you do, I'm telling your dad.
Love Mom

*sigh*

Hi my name is *Rebecca* and I like to fucking cuss and talk about sex. What should I do? Open up the sex Q&A and deal with my mom's criticisms? Or should I start a brand new sex Blog?

Thanks Tena, you're the best!

Mystery Guest Post #2


(NOT)

post signature

21 comments:

Dorsey said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of a sex blog!! I've thought of starting my own, but I'd probably end up getting into trouble. Its a shame your mom is holding you back. On a somewhat similar note, my mother (back when I was selling the adult toy stuff) wanted to attend one of my parties. It took a while to come to terms with the fact that I'd have to utter the words "anal ease" in front of my MOTHER!!! But I got over it. Now we giggle and laugh about it, and she OWNS her own toys (mind you I only found out while looks for tootsie rolls). HA!

bookstorebetty said...

lmao I have to say I'd start another blog and spare your mother. But that's just me... Now who wrote this, hmmm....

DJane said...

I am so new to the blogosphere that I can't possibly guess who wrote this. Can't wait to find out, it's funny. But my advice is start a new sex blog, if you want to do it - go for it! Although if your mother ever clicks on your profile then she will just be able to see blog number 2 starring her in the face.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

I like this post. Perhaps it is Mama Romance since her blog is a sex blog but it is rated PG.

jill jill bo bill said...

GREAT post!!!! And I am guessing it is Ann. (Yesterday i voted for Annie. What the hell is my deal?)

Honeybell said...

Dear JamieMelodyJulietHarmonyRebecca,

I'll bet if you blog about lube and say fuck a little more, your mom will never read your blog again.

Granted, you may never hear the end of it, but then that'll just give you more to blog about! See? Then we're all winners!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOL...I don't know who you are either...I would LOVE to talk about sex...and I personally wouldn't care if my mother read it, cause she read my diary when I moved out, and that had a LOT of sex in it...But my DH does NOT like to talk about sex, not with me, not with the guys, and certainly not with strangers in the internet...LOL...LUCKY!!

Tami said...

I really think its Insane Mama :)

I'm pretty sure I recall a post about getting the kids some batteries from one of her "toys" - ROFL!

And sometimes she cusses ;)

Jill said...

Oh I just don't know... I'm going to guess Life of a Nguyner. Oh I'm so horrible with these games!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Jill Bwahahaha

My guess is Insane Momma too.

I am all for a sex blog, it would be interesting to read.

Linda S said...

no idea either day...I'm going for last place...

Annie said...

Insane Mama as well........

Eudea-Mamia said...

No clue, so I'm going with my lemming thought process...Insane Momma!

Oh, and get a second blog under a totally different account. Trust me.

Em

Holy Crappers said...

Hey, you warned her!!!



peace
#2

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I'm thinking it's Smart A$$ Mom... am I right???

Deb said...

I think it is Tiffany.

Go for the sex blog. Just make sure we all get the URL.

Patrice said...

I don't know who wrote it.. but I like the idea of a sex blog!

Tena said...

Okay, I *think* this is Insane Mama!
I think a blog on sex is a great idea!
Ü

HappyHourSue said...

Insane mama- but I'm kinda cheating cuz she sent me her new top secret blog url this morning - because of the mom thing. :)

amelia bedelia said...

I'm sayin' HappyMeals???

amelia bedelia said...

ok, maybe, Mariah???aaaahhhh I can't decide, is this legal? two guesses??