Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I need your help!

Ok, so I'm having some issues, I know, issues, me? Hard to believe!

I told some real life people (including my mom and husband) that I blog. I received the, just be careful what you say lecture more than I care to mention and that was the easy part.

I don't want to feel the need to change or censor my content- I have never held anything back and have always put everything out on the table- anythng else just wouldn't be me. I think my feelings have been appreciated, welcome, and echoed from most everyone that reads- I mean, have you seen all of the gay awards I've recieved?

I get an awesome release from it. I have rediscovered the ability to put full sentences together. I receive support, reassurance, and concern from the comments.

I have always tried my best to use this as a forum of what's on MY mind. I try not to make it about anyone else. Since 'coming out', I have begun to doubt what I have written. Did I ever go too far? How will it be taken? What will they say? Where can I hide?

Short of entering the witness relocation program, I haven't come up with a solution. I have, however, made the decision that I will continue to do what I have always done here because that is what has served me best.

Now, the fun part- where I put you to work. I could use words from you to convince my naysayers. Convince them that I'm not a total freak (Ok, that might be a stretch)- but maybe convince them that blogging isn't what makes me a freak! Convince them that I am not circulating a pornography ring here. Convince them that I am not carrying on lesbian love affairs here on the intawebz - or heterosexual for that matter! Convince them that bonds can be made with normal (a relative term) people that have similar struggles. Assure them that you will not cause me any harm- lie if you must, just do it!

I look forward to hearing your attempt at defending the blogosphere and me. I hope you can help reduce the judgement that comes along with opening up my life and crazy innermost thoughts to complete strangers and making 'friends' on the internet- yeah, good luck with that!

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Jill said...

Don't sensor a thing... keep it real, keep doing it just as you do. Since I've been a fan, I haven't noticed anything in your blog that you couldn't say to your mother or to your husband, or to your family.

I say, as long as you're not writing about your super wild, anal sex, kinky, hang from the ceilings, menage a trois that you're having with your husband and your best friend's husband, I think you're a-ok.

Just sayin...

The Mom said...

I agree with Jill, don't change a thing, it's all good. It's real and it's honest and that's why we love you!

Stay legal and we'll all be okay! ;)

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

so I don't know if I would be able to convince anyone of anything...but here's my take on it.

I write like I would "like" to talk to the poeple in the room. I do not attack others, but do bring up my feelings are if they get offended or don't like it...don't read it.

I think too many people spend to much time keeping real true feelings hidden because of how other poeple would react...and I think that's wrong...but I can't change the world.

Blogging is about finding people who get you, understand, and inspire you the you WOULD have meet at the local park, if they lived in your's about getting to know REAL poeple without the snap judgements you get from RL...

I am grateful for having met some of the people here...some of them inspire me to do/be/think better...some give me a hug like I need, some just crack me up...

YOU...are all of the above.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Keep it REAL, Just like you have. I love that you say what's on your mind. Don't sugarcoat, I agree with Jill although I would like to read about your super wild, anal sex, kinky, hang from the ceilings, menage a trois that you're having with your husband and your best friend's husband...LOL

I like you just the way you are and to all the friends and family I consider her a friend :) I promise I am not a crazy manic that is out to get her....Bwahahahaha No For Real! Yes, I did give her a gay award too LOL

Tiffany said...

Gay ass awards? What the fuck? Yea I'm really one to convince people we aren't wackos out here. I find blogging to help me get my feelings out and talk to people who are similar and totally opposite of myself. It's kinda like meeting people on the street except you never meet them in person. Or really it's like being a penpal with lots of people. Hey at least you don't have a penpal who is in jail. Hmm I take that back.

just a girl... said...

First of all the second best thing about getting my blog award was finding this one. You could be a mini me based on your introduction alone. nice to meet you.

I decided I wanted my blog to be about me, it all started with a breakup. I have given it to my mom since day one. I knew she would get a kick out being INVITED to see another part of my life.

Since then, i have told my cousins, who basically laugh and think i am an idot(because they don't understand it). Tell your parents this is about you not about them and they should be glad you let them in. Also tell them that its cheaper then therapy and the results are faster. Your blog is great and I am looking forward to catching up on your posts

Honeybell said...

Your blog, your words, your decision. As far as how much to reveal, etc., use other bloggers as an example. Dooce, probably the most famous blogger out there uses her first and last name. Her daughter's and husband's photos. Avitable frequently publishes his home address, and is in the process of inviting every blogger everywhere to his annual halloween party.

It's about knowing your audience. While there is something to be said about the anonymity of the internet, who is to say folks you'd meet at a book club would be any safer? And they would know where you live!

Petra said...

I say tell everyone to take a hike! If you enjoy blogging, you do not need to defend yourself to anyone! This is your hobby, love, passion, whatever it is for you and there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever!

jill jill bo bill said...

Dear family of Tena,

Tena is an inspiration to thousands out here in Blogland. Blogging allows us to meet, get to know and fall in "love" with friends we would otherwise have never met. There are clicks in Blogland, as well, and we have formed a tight-knit group and talk to, laugh and cry with, and share things that are too personal to share with family and friends that we see daily. It's a vent none of us have ever experinced until blogging. It's so much easier to get thru the day when you know someone that you have formed a friendship with, hundreds of miles away, is going thru, or has gone thru the same thing. The difference is we don't have clean our houses for our bloggie buds, put on make up or bras, or even brush our teeth. We are accepted just as we are. If we weren't- people wouldn't read us or comment. Just like in real life, you hang with people you have things in common with. Know that your daughter is one of my best bloggie buddies and I look forward to "talking" to her daily, to see what's going on in her life, and sharing mine with her. Serial Killers would never take the time to be as funny and cute as we are. We love and need your daughter. Plus she paid me five dollars to say that.
jill jill bo bill (my legal given name) okay not really.

jill jill bo bill said...

Is there a gay award for the longest post, cuz I need one! Get busy please!

amelia bedelia said...

P.S. (to Jill's letter)
AND if she stopped posting, my day would become so boring, as I look forward to her humor everyday. AND, to your husband: You have a wonderful, very talented caring funny wife and we need her to continue to share her life with us. AND to your Mom: you have a great daughter that is honest and real. AND to you, Miss Tena, you're blog is my fav.

(by the way, she didn't have to pay me a dime to say all this!)

Drowsey Monkey said...

So ... are all these people going to read our responses? 'Cause I wouldn't suggest sending them to my blog today, LOL.

Hey, you can always do what 100s of others have done, close down this blog & start another one and not give your family/friends the URL. lol

But I know what ya mean, it's a bit of exposure. Just be yourself. I'm the same in my blog as I am in real life. When people I know read my blog they say it's like they can hear me talking.

Just be yourself & have fun. It's a hobby. Lots of people have hobbies that others don't understand...but that's okay. As long as you enjoy it that's all that matters :)

C said...

I know the "oh, you have a WEBSITE, wink, wink" all too well. You're not pedaling porn and you're not using your blog to bash other people, so don't give what other people say another thought. Look at us, we're all NORMAL, right?

HappyHourSue said...

Actually, drowsey monkey has a point: I'm also thinking of opening a secret blog that my family & friends don't know about so I can really spew.

It does censor you, i know the feeling (what will my dad think of this?)

But all of us have issues and struggles and uncertainties and that's why we love hearing each others stories. keep being you. :)

Deb said...


I'm back from vacay and glad to see you blogging! I missed reading your posts.

Never censor yourself. A lot of my friends and some family know I blog, and if they don't like it, they don't have to read it.

To all of Tena's friends and family...Tena RAWKS y'all!

Rick said...

Blggin' peoples is normal! Thre ya go! That prove it?