Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tuesday's Tribute

Jay and Deb have come up with Tuesday's Tribute- they have this notion that everything is not about me! Have they been here? It really is. I get it, though, they're trying to ground us, pay it forward, get over ourselves, whatever... here's my attempt...

Tuesday's Tribute

The other night, I reconnected with two guy friends from high school on Facebook. No, this is not a tribute to Facebook.

The last time I spoke with them was 19 years ago. I loved them! I've missed them. I knew them through drama. We sang show tunes and practiced our jazz squares and choreography together. Maybe you can see this coming... they are gay.

We all knew it back then, but back in the 80's, it wasn't something you said, talked about, or embraced as a high school student. There were no social organizations, no support groups, no clubs. They didn't have LOGO, Ellen or Will and Grace. The politicians were better at hiding their indiscretions and paying off people ('cuz you KNOW it was happening).


Having gone to a Catholic school, I imagine the stigma of it was even that much more of a guilt for them to carry and a personal struggle. Thank goodness, in today's slightly more tolerable world, they have both "come out" and are living their lives true to themselves.

Contrary to my husband's medicine drawer filled with of Preparation H, Rogaine, eye cream, alpha hydroxy (strawberry scented!), and self-tanner- HE IS NOT GAY! He's the furthest thing from gay. I could use a little gay around here.

Lo and behold one of my friends, agreed to be my 'gay husband'. I have been wanting one for a long time- someone to share decorating ideas and and a nice fruity drink with an umbrella. Someone that won't act like he's going to spontaneously combust when we walk into a mall. Someone that will understand the magnitude of the question, does this make me look fat? and know how to give an appropriate response (lie and focus on how fabulous my shoes are!) Someone that can gossip with me and truly cares what Angelina wore last night! Someone that does not pick their 'favorite' designer in Project Runway with the sole basis: "she has nice tits".

And finally, someone that I know wouldn't be caught dead walking around in my house like this- I think my eyeballs are burning!



I tribute gay men with fashion sense and observance! Understanding the female perspective. Honesty with compassion. Not being afraid of open communication. And, for the love of God, not ever mixing plaids!


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22 comments:

The Panic Room said...

Everyone knows that the designers with the nicest "tits" always gets voted off right away. I am calling shenanigans :)

Deb said...

you're so lucky. even my HUSBAND has a gay husband and i don't. i feel left out.

do you think we will ever get to a point in this stupid world where people can just be themselves and not be judged?

Under the Influence said...

Every wife needs a gay husband. Though I have often said I need a wife - someone to cook, clean, run my errands, take kids to appts., etc.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Love Project Runway!

The closest I come to having a gay husband is having a gay Uncle. He cracks me up and does tell me how it is! Love Him!

Tiffany said...

A gay husband? Where can I get one and are they expensive?

Annie said...

Hmmm...I like this idea! I could use a gay husband!

Halftime Lessons said...

My heterosexual stock just went up a few point. my wife had to point out to me that a black shirt with blue track pants was not appropriate for walking to the mailbox this weekend.

I know about blue and black, but for the love of God, it's just the driveway...our home doesnt have to be project runway, does it?

Also, I have been a heterosexual version of a Gay Husband to my female friends for many years. Good talks, sympathetic male, all that. One catch, though...the second you let your guard down, I'm nailing you. Beware of the Gay Husband that's not so gay. We have another nickname...Horny Conniving Bastard.

Soxy Deb said...

I pray to God you don't let him out in public like that.
My husband soesn't mix plaids, but what he does is just as bad. He's a tucker. He tucks in EVERY.DAMN.SHIRT.HE.WEARS.
Makes me want to throw up. I am forever saying, "untuck - i love you"

Eudea-Mamia said...

Plaid on plaid - now there is something wrong with THAT.

Same sex marriage and equal rights I can embrace. But that, I have to draw the line.

A woman can only be so open minded.

because I said so said...

where can I get one of these gay husbands? I would like to sign up please...

bsouth said...

Mmmm, interesting wardrobe choice there. Definitely not gay!

Mary Moore said...

A gay husband. What a great idea!! I'm gonna go get me one too.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

And you sleep next to him wearing that??? Wow! plaids mixed with plaids? Poor dear. you do need a gay husband.

I'm dealing with Soxy Deb's issue...my Boo is a tucker as well. Everything gets tucked!!!

Paige said...

I need a gay husband. Although mine does a good impression of one with some of the crazy shit he says--I am confident he is not though, so that wont do at all

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I'm going to ask for one for my birthday!!

♥georgie♥ said...

I want a gay husband!!!

Ronda's Rants said...

God...How did you get that picture of me?

Minxy Mimi said...

Oh yes!!! I embrace gay men and I love to hang out with them...you are dead on about what makes them so wonderful to have around!!!
YAY

jill jill bo bill said...

I think I divorced the man in your kitchen six years ago. My stomach lurched a little when I saw that. It may take BOTH your gay friends to help you get over that.

Kasey or Karen said...

You are so lucky, I've always wanted a gay husband but around here their not all that easy to find.


So how does your husband like having his picture up on the internet :)

Jenni Jiggety said...

I want a gay husband,too!!!

jaime said...

nice tribute! you crack me up...i'm on fb ALL THE TIME...it never fails to make me feel old as shit when i get in touch with an old high school friend. never.