***I also wanted to clear some things up from my last post. It may have freaked some people out. And, in no way, was I making fun of "awards"- I'm just a jealous little baby! So, once again, sorry I caused all that cancer.
*** While we're there, in reference to a couple of comments to my last post...I did not use the silverware in whatever way I suppose was implied except for eating... FOOD! God, what kind of FREAK do you think I am?
*** Speaking of freaks, I have to mention the train wreck that is the Rock of Love Bus. I watched the first season and it was semi-entertaining with the ho's and the catfights... yada yada yada... then I was all like- "yuck- I'm over these ho-bags and this man whore with his bandanna that we all know is covering a receding hairline or recently installed plugs"... so, I stopped watching. As luck would have it, though, I happened to catch a glimpse of the new season that takes place on the tour bus.
HOLY SHIT- they are not human- they're not slutty, ho-bag, whores, porn star trash-I, mean, they are all that, BUT WORSE! It's like a whole new breed! I can't help but watch... total rubbernecking stuff!
The first episode- they got very drunk (surprise!) and there were 2 girls getting it on (another surprise!) and - well- one laid on the bar and did a 'body shot' off of the other... NOT FROM THE NAVAL, but another crevice, if you will- OH MY GOD- JUST- OH. MY. GOD. This was not shown (thank you FCC), just the looks of amazement and disbelief from fellow hoes and Bret Michaels!
Then there's this girl... Constandina...
Bret's kindred bandanna wearin', belly dancin', exotic woman with the third eye contestant. She's the token New Age girl who's probably into meditation. She mentioned to Bret that she made "a vow" to not have "all the way sex" for 3 years.
1.) "all the way sex"- what are you? 12?
2.) Then Bret starts using the
phrase "all the way sex"!
3.) Then, DUH, she gets sent home because...
4.) You must be a slutty whore that has lots and lots of "all the
way sex" on Rock of Love!
Then there is Brittaney...
...who Bret senses a familiarity with... hmmm... I feel like I know you, but I can't put my finger on it (I'm sure she'd LET YOU!!!)...
That's it! He's seen her movies!!! OF COURSE, HE HAS!!! She blushes and quickly retreats to the fact that she is no longer in porn-OF COURSE, SHE'S NOT and is trying to take her "career" in a different direction-OF COURSE, SHE IS (Yeah, that'll work- Traci Lords/Jenna Jameson!) and that she sings now... OF COURSE, YOU DO! So, she sings and sucks- no pun intended- she's bad!
She is not sent home because this girl is a train wreck and the Producers threatened Bret that they would rip off his bandanna exposing his balding if he dare sent home this catastrophic ratings gold slut!
I could go on and on, but I won't...Seriously, watch this show- it's so funny!
*** And a weird juxtaposition... from porn star to baking... I must now go prepare 2 cakes and a soup for 20 people for my son's family get together for his birthday tomorrow night. We are going to rock out some Guitar Hero and party like we're 14! Have a good weekend!