Thursday, January 15, 2009

Friday Fragments

I wasn't going to do a Friday Fragments this week because I'm lazy, but Mrs. 4444 awarded me this from last week's fragments and I felt guilted obligated honored! Thanks so much!!!
***I also wanted to clear some things up from my last post. It may have freaked some people out. And, in no way, was I making fun of "awards"- I'm just a jealous little baby! So, once again, sorry I caused all that cancer.

*** While we're there, in reference to a couple of comments to my last post...I did not use the silverware in whatever way I suppose was implied except for eating... FOOD! God, what kind of FREAK do you think I am?

*** Speaking of freaks, I have to mention the train wreck that is the Rock of Love Bus. I watched the first season and it was semi-entertaining with the ho's and the catfights... yada yada yada... then I was all like- "yuck- I'm over these ho-bags and this man whore with his bandanna that we all know is covering a receding hairline or recently installed plugs"... so, I stopped watching. As luck would have it, though, I happened to catch a glimpse of the new season that takes place on the tour bus.

HOLY SHIT- they are not human- they're not slutty, ho-bag, whores, porn star trash-I, mean, they are all that, BUT WORSE! It's like a whole new breed! I can't help but watch... total rubbernecking stuff!


The first episode- they got very drunk (surprise!) and there were 2 girls getting it on (another surprise!) and - well- one laid on the bar and did a 'body shot' off of the other... NOT FROM THE NAVAL, but another crevice, if you will- OH MY GOD- JUST- OH. MY. GOD. This was not shown (thank you FCC), just the looks of amazement and disbelief from fellow hoes and Bret Michaels!


Then there's this girl... Constandina...

Bret's kindred bandanna wearin', belly dancin', exotic woman with the third eye contestant. She's the token New Age girl who's probably into meditation. She mentioned to Bret that she made "a vow" to not have "all the way sex" for 3 years.


1.) "all the way sex"- what are you? 12?

2.) Then Bret starts using the
phrase "all the way sex"!

3.) Then, DUH, she gets sent home because...

4.) You must be a slutty whore that has lots and lots of "all the
way sex" on Rock of Love!



Then there is Brittaney...

...who Bret senses a familiarity with... hmmm... I feel like I know you, but I can't put my finger on it (I'm sure she'd LET YOU!!!)...

That's it! He's seen her movies!!! OF COURSE, HE HAS!!! She blushes and quickly retreats to the fact that she is no longer in porn-OF COURSE, SHE'S NOT and is trying to take her "career" in a different direction-OF COURSE, SHE IS (Yeah, that'll work- Traci Lords/Jenna Jameson!) and that she sings now... OF COURSE, YOU DO! So, she sings and sucks- no pun intended- she's bad!

She is not sent home because this girl is a train wreck and the Producers threatened Bret that they would rip off his bandanna exposing his balding if he dare sent home this catastrophic ratings gold slut!
I could go on and on, but I won't...Seriously, watch this show- it's so funny!

*** And a weird juxtaposition... from porn star to baking... I must now go prepare 2 cakes and a soup for 20 people for my son's family get together for his birthday tomorrow night. We are going to rock out some Guitar Hero and party like we're 14! Have a good weekend!

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22 comments:

Under the Influence said...

Did you say that chick's name is Candida? Oh wait, that's CONSTANDINA. Sorry, I don't have my glasses on yet this morning!

Tiffany said...

I hate Brittany. She's such a whiner. Actually I don't like any of the skanks um I mean girls. And what's up with the black girl who wears so much eye make-up she looks like a transvestite?

Honeybell said...

LMAO! I meant because the silverware touched your FEET!! Because otherwise . . . fucking OUCH!

because I said so said...

you make me laugh

because I said so said...

and I changed my profile picture just for you.....well, you and the others that thought I had no face or something

Mrs4444 said...

Hmmmm.. I've never seen that show. Too much other garbage on, I suppose! :)

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

I have never seen that show - sounds entertaining!

Heinous said...

I get sucked into that train wreck too. It's my wife's fault for watching it.

Momo Fali said...

Their mother's must be so proud.

Brooks said...

you are right, they are not human and it hurts to look at them. THe sad thing is that they actually think that they are HOT!

Debbie said...

Well, I am clearly missing out by not watching this show. Came over from Georgie's blog.

Brittany said...

I think just stepping on the bus constitutes all the way sex!

Deb said...

oh fun! so happy birthday to mr. bigstuff.

okay, i may have to take another look. i watched the first season when they weren't on the bus, but got distracted by that show with the bi-sexual gal that was on the hunt for a partner and ended up choosing between the lesbian firefighter and the boy-toy? do you know what i am talking about? after that, i wasn't prepared to shower as often as i felt i needed to, so i haven't been back.

Annie said...

I love that train wreck but Brittant has gotto go. She bugs.

Mary Moore said...

OK, you've convinced me. I have to watch this show next time.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I seriously love that Rock of Love crap. Those VH1 people are brilliant.

Ann said...

This is great! I don't have to watch the shows, I can just come here and get the recaps!

F*Lush said...

I barely watch TV...but I'll come out of the closet and admit I love watching the trainwrecks on Rock of Love...and the whole bus tour thingie...pure marketing genius!

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm so catching all this dirt on The Soup tonight!

Thanks for the heads up.

Sogeshirtsguy said...

That show is hilarious. I can't believe all those girls love Bret Michaels and I can't believe they think he is actually looking for love. Dude loves himself, fake boobs, and the thrill of oh no whats that on my junk doctors visits.

Threeboys1mommy said...

What is under that bandana girl? Is her bald? I think it's an std related skin lesion.

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Why do we become addicted to these shows? I didn't like season two, so I wasn't sure what this one was. then I started watching it, and of course the hubs started watching it, and making way too many comments. so then we stopped watching it. sluts...i just wish i could be like them.