Sunday, January 25, 2009

What's in your cabinet?

So you may know I am a bit of a neat freak, but like all people, I have my weak spots, my Achilles heel, my kryptonite: my bathroom cabinets. I hate to waste so I often ignore expiration dates on anything that's not dairy or wrought with mold. I figure, what's the worse that can happen? The medicine doesn't work anymore? So really, it's just more of a placebo. Placebos never hurt anyone! That being said, the medicines (or placebos, if you will) in my bathroom cabinet were probably bought in preparation of illnesses that may arise from Y2K, before Al Gore invented the internet and was robbed of the presidency by some ass named "Chad"!

When I read Three Boys One Mommy had an idea for a new meme where she challenged people to take a picture of their medicine cabinets and post it. I got a quick rush of anxiety and thought,



oh no, I cannot take a picture of that messy thing! I'm quite certain that most people do not have hairy, rusty safety pins that are cemented by toothpaste to the bottom of the drawer, and expired Ex-Lax that I'm holding on to just in case the day comes when I decide I want to try that diet... old school-70's after school special-laxative style!

But then, she threw in the rule that you could tidy up before taking the pictures- phew! A reprieve. My cabinets REALLY needed cleaning! So, you see, it's not so much a meme- as it is more- a community service- so I thank you- for lighting a fire under my ass. I assume my husband would thank you if I was brave enough to tell him that the Tums I've been feeding him for the latest 'stomach bug' he's had, expired in 2003. And my sick kids that have been given 'placebos' instead of actual medication for the last 7 years thank you!

I wasn't invited to play in the meme- specifically (bygones)- but she has a prize! Invitation or not, I can be bribed! So, Supermommy, here's your peek inside without the uncomfortable anxiety of having to sneak around in my bathroom and worry that I loaded up with marbles just to catch you red-handed...

First, all of the expired items finally in the trash- where they belong (these are the REALLY out of date ones- I still couldn't part with the ones that had relatively recent expiration- like 2007- I know that's 2 years, but we are in a recession, people!)




And the winner of Most Expired Item in My Medicine Drawer is...

A bottle of Excedrin PM expiration: 05/02. (I had a hard time sleeping- I was so wound up from watching a new episode of Ally McBeal! )

Really, nothing to see here, folks! Could it be more boring?
The ziploc baggie is full of aspirin and Tums (most likely expired by a few years, too, but no bottle so no proof!) We bring that with us when we travel since the original bottles were from Costco and were large enough to hold a human head!


Looking for good stuff? My husband keeps his generic hemorhoidal cream, Rogaine, puffy eye cream, and self tanner (no, he's not gay) in his own drawer, sorry. I keep my good stuff here...


On my computer desk- always within an arm's reach!


And more of my good stuff here... on the top of the vanity-skin care- I'm waiting for the magic to happen and have started a savings fund for Botox and Restalyn because these don't work worth a shit!
So, altogether pretty tame. Sorry, I ran out of vaginal itch cream and enemas just last week. However, I won't lie and say that this commercial hasn't piqued my curiosity!





I think I might have to move a few things around and make room for this!

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23 comments:

I'm just the MOM said...

So the funny thing is...thats the commercial that finally led the hubs and me into trying it....LOVE IT!
No cabinet pics for me though...TOO much junk!
And Tena, 05-02?! haha..u know what i may have do dive into my cabinets/drawers too.
P.S. my word verification is butfulf! haha i know u would appreciate that!

Threeboys1mommy said...

That was hilarious and exactly what I thought, with all the money I spend on those products I can go see Dr. Ray. Your Y2K preparedness kit is impressive, I think all I had on hand was water, oh and holla @ the 07 expiration dates. No biggy there ;-)

Thanks for playing along, I enjoyed that.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I am intrigued by that commercial, as well. And I just threw away a can of FOOD that expired in 11/02!! I guess if I haven't eaten those pineapple rings by now, then I never will. Yuck!

Under the Influence said...

I have some expired vicodin and take it from me, IT STILL WORKS!

Annie said...

Blogger stinks.If I write one more witty responseonly to get kicked off,I'll take all your meds, even your expired ones!

Mary Moore said...

Hilarious you are. I bet I have more expired meds than you though.

ciara said...

i used to have way expired drugs, too...too bad this wasn't a meme cpl yrs ago lol

Eudea-Mamia said...

I took all my expired meds this weekend. I figured they would either cure my cough or kill me.

Win/win in my book.

And how old is your youngest? I want to know when it's safe to through out the nose bulb - eww.

♥georgie♥ said...

LMFAO!!! Tena you crack me up love the whole Al Gore/internet i mean we all know he invented it right???

Cute basket!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I would love to take a picture of my cabinet, but you wouldn't be able to see anything past all *MY* vaginal itch cream's and whatnot.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

05/02 WOW that is pretty bad :) LOL

That is pretty good. I have a few expired ones too I am sure but not *that* expired.

Dr Zibbs said...

You throw medicine out? Just leave it outside for the birds and squirrels.

Jen said...

Is that a rosary next to the "good stuff". That is too funny!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I haven't had a medicine cabinet in over 12 years...so I keep my stuff in the kitchen or hall closet...I too have tossed meds that were more than 2 years old...but NOT 6!! lol...

Tiffany said...

Somebody said they didn't like the KY stuff. I don't know.

And I cleaned out my cabinet a few months back and EVERYTHING but my cough drops were expired. SO when I did get sick, I had no fucking medicine to take. Who makes up these expiration dates anytway?

Jenni Jiggety said...

That looks pretty neat and orderly, to me! I have a closet outside of my bathroom that should be condemned!

Madame Mommy said...

I'm about to pee my pants..seriously!!!

Soxy Deb said...

(I had a hard time sleeping- I was so wound up from watching a new episode of Ally McBeal! )

I am laughing so fucking hard that my husband thought I might need oxygen. Ally McBeal! OMG! That is probably the funniest statement I have ever read - EVER.

Leslie said...

I'm so proud of you and your bulb syringe, you're such a good mommy! That ziploc bag, of a thousand different random pills, is a little disturbing though....

I want to see your husband's drawer, pretty, pretty, puh-leeese!! I bet his drawer would guarantee winning Supermommy's contest!

Kasey or Karen said...

You've inspired me to clean out my cabinets and refrigerator :)

Great blog, by the way I just added you to my list of interesting sites on my Do Everything Blog :)

Sabrae Carter said...

LOL! I think the only thing in my cabnit in the bathroom is deodrant and the wifes cologne. It's pretty bare! lol

alanna rose said...

Camera's broken, otherwise I would play, too! But, there's an award for you on my blog!

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Nice work on the Excendrin. '02? Wow!
Also, don't try it. The commercial stuff. It really isn't that great. But that could just be me since I am so experienced with the professional stuff. HA!