dog gone truth

Who remembers the "Friends" episode where Phoebe finds a dog and hides it at Chandler and Monica's place, but only Joey knows Chandler's deep dark secret that Chandler doesn't like dogs. They try to keep the truth under wraps because NO ONE DOESN'T LIKE A DOG, right?

Ok, deep breath, as I stand and say, my name is Tena and I don't like dogs. There, I said it. Don't throw stuff, send death threat comments, or lace my Entertainment Weekly with Anthrax. I don't want to hurt them, well not most of them ( maybe the ones that bark in my neighborhood at 3 in the morning). I am just not a fan of the hair, dander, smell, pee, poop, barking, nails scratching my legs when they jump on me,and their cold rough tongues licking me.

I had dogs growing up. My dad loved German Shepards, which is probably part of the problem. We always had a dog that was twice my size. I have seen pictures of me as a very small girl with 5-10 different HUGE dogs. I am convinced that I am repressing a traumatic memory from childhood and that's where my fear and disdain for dogs comes in. There's no other explantion.

My kids do not have this same fear. They LOVE dogs and want one desperately. I feel badly for not being comfortable enough with the canine to give them this perfectly normal childhood memory and playmate.

I have a good friend that is married to a vet and they have 8 dogs. She is my #1 lecturer. I've heard it all... for 13 years... you need to get those kids a dog! I finally have started researching if there is a dog that would fall into my criteria... the long list that it is:

***small, very small (Beebs is scared shitless a little leary of a dog that is not smaller than her)
***MINIMAL shedding (I have extreme allergies to cat hair and dander makes me miserable not to mention the clean up!)
***good with children- duh!
***doesn't bark a lot (I am a noise sensitive freak)
***will not climb or destroy anything in my house

Now, I am perfectly aware that this is probably an unrealistic list of expectations for a four-legged friend, much of the reason I've always told them, "no". So whaddya think, knowing all of my hang-ups?