Friday, July 25, 2008

fair game

Hi, this is 'Tena's husband'. Could I speak with the Sergeant on duty? ... Hello, Sergeant, I know I am supposed to come to work today, but the loud thunderstorm last night woke up my kids and I wasn't able to get any sleep. Never mind that my wife was the one that sat up with them on the couch from 2:30- 4:00 while my lazy ass stayed in bed. And, yes, this is the same woman that has had an average of 4 hours of broken sleep for the last three nights since she has been diligently trying to house and crate train our new yapping puppy without waking the rest of the house. But I don't think I'd be much good to you today. I need to catch up on my sleep.

The preceding was a simulation of the actual conversation that took place at 5:00AM from my husband to his work.

The following is a simulation of a future conversation I will be having with my husband:

When you wake up and realize there is dog shit and pee everywhere and the house reeks and has been chewed up and spit out by a teething puppy, the kids are still in pajamas ,have eaten donuts, soda and candy all day, and you can't seem to figure out where your firstborn has gone, I wanted you to know that I didn't think I'd be much good to you today. I need to catch up on my sleep.



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17 comments:

Manic Mom said...

Oh, no he didn't!!!
If it helps, over in CA I was up all night with a crying baby & a frustrated Husband. Come to think of it, his a88 is still in bed. Off to get my whip!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

LOL. Makes me remember why I don't want a puppy!

The Mom said...

My 2.5 year old "puppy" is learning her "crate" training this week and now wants to sleep with us in return at night. I'm feeling some of your pain.

Your husband needs a b%$^h-slap!

amelia bedelia said...

Just keep giving him chores to do all day! And if he is sleeping, make sure you make lots of noise, I guarantee he won't call in sick anymore. MEN!

The Hula Cuties said...

Oh no, did he really??? Do you have your "Honey-Do" list ready??

Holy Crappers said...

And he is still alive?

Those kids would be jumping on his bed.

peace
#2

Deb said...

They are such babies. Seriously. I think you should go on strike! Amelia Bedelia is right...make sure your chores are nice and noisy today.

Tiffany said...

HAHA All men are babies! You tell him you need some sleep or you're going on strike. He'll listen then. LOL

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOL...can we do that...hmmm.

jill jill bo bill said...

Helloooo?!? Holiday Inn! On his credit card. And get room service. And a massage. Sleep well, my pet!

Steph said...

tena,
have you read the book "My Smart Puppy"...it was my bible when we got our puppy! and don't forget a GALLON of some stuff called Nature's Miracle. it will get better but the sleep deprivation is the WORST!

C said...

Oh My God...I don't even know what to say about that...the way that you described it is freakin' hilarious! (but I'm sure you weren't feeling too funny about it at 5am!)

Jill said...

Oh men... sometimes they drive me to drink. Like tonight - do you think he'd help me pack anything?

I hope you sent your kids in to wake his ass up. That's what I usually do when I've had it up to "here".

Darrin said...

OOF... I remember those early crate training days with "Liza the Lab". She's a year old now, but those early days make me tired just thinking about them. I feel your pain!!

I am Boymom said...

Been there! And after all that, 9 months later the dog ended up getting bit by a snake and dying. I couldn't go through it again (the bonding or the training), so we are done with puppies, now we have a cat. Litter box trained in about 2 minutes. Slept through the night the first night we got him. More my style. And yeah, no help from my husband on the training or housecleaning issue either...another reason we got a low maintenance cat. Sleep deprivation is truly a torture! I'm sendin' some positive thoughts into the universe for you!!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

alleluia sister!

Firefly said...

With only 2 kids and no puppy, my hubby pulls this about once a month. And why is he REALLY so tired? Because he stayed up all night playing computer games. But he had his headphones on so the sound wouldn't wake me up, isn't that sweet - so he couldn't hear the babies fuss and I was the one who got up with them 17 million times. But *he* needs to stay home from work to catch up on sleep. ARGH.