My Random Dirty Thoughts for the Day- Masturbation

Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy's husband was quoted saying "blog like no one is reading".

I love that! First, the fact that her husband said that- how freaking supportive he must be of her addiction habit hobby. Secondly, that's a great way to go about blogging, in my opinion. You can't please all the people all the time- so take care of yourself. Yes, I just gave you permission to "please yourself"- go ahead, I'll wait!

It's easier said than done (not pleasing yourself, but blogging like no one is reading). Although, I write what I want and the way I want, it is always in the back of my mind, that someone might be reading. Though recently, from sparse comments, it seemed that the wise advice "blog like no one is reading" wasn't much of a stretch for me!

There are some posts that you write just to you fill your 'postly obligation'. Then there are some that you think, well if I do say so myself, that ain't bad! Never fail, the ones that I don't care for are the ones that get commented like crazy. While the ones that I am pretty proud of sink like Bubba's trailer in the Ike's wave surge! I just don't get it!

Which brought me back to the ever loving Google Analytics! I learn that, except on weekends, I still have a consistent viewing of about 100 people a day. Not a lot to many, but a lot for me, dammit! So, I wonder why I only get the 10ish comments. THEN, I discover this "Bounce Rate" - which can I say, sucks my ass (blog like no one is reading, right?)

Apparently these are the asshats and perverts that are trying to figure out how to "rock with their tampon out", or that "love watching their step mom in the shower" or are in search of Beebs (hopefully Boobs) and MILF porn!!! And though I am a people pleaser, upon their first glance at my blog- I am not pleasing them and they run away screaming leave my site! They don't even give me a chance! Maybe I will put a 'catchy word' in each of my post titles and see how that grabs them (thus the need for masturbation in this title- 'need for masturbation'- that's good!) Hell, maybe they can't read, I don't know. BUT MY BOUNCE RATE IS 70 FREAKING %!!!

So, I will now impress you with impeccable math skills... 100 hits / Bounce rate of 70%= 30 people that actually read this shit. (I suck!) 30 people that pity me/avg 10 comments per post. I am pleasing 1 out of every 3 people- or pissing them off enough to comment- tomato- tomauto! Not a bad average, not a great average.

There is the small detail that I don't allow 'anonymous' comments. Sorry if this leaves you out, but I heard once upon a time that being open to anonymous comments opens up your computer to viruses and bugs. I once changed my 'comments status' to go straight into my inbox and was inundated with penis enlarging e-mails and I just wasn't in the market at the time. (Get a google account- it's a few damn buttons that you have to press- if I can do it... psh! Then you can go off on me all you want- I don't care- I'm not afraid- bring it on!)

Short of flashing "my rack" (I'm #23) on my header to keep these people's attention... I'm out of ideas. How do you get noticed out here? Ok, so maybe I get why I don't fit in with the 'mommy blogs'- but moms do have a sense of humor, don't they?

It's kind of like me in real life. I have a handful of really great friends that I have had forever, but I don't know that I've made a real 'friend' in the last 15 years (aside from blogging)! Face it, everyone wants to be the popular kid- don't they? I'm no exception. I was never able to do it in real life (become popular, that is) and it's not really going that way out here in the blogosphere, either. I am really thankful for the great friends I have met!

If you like me, you will 'Follow Me' (upper right hand corner) because I'm needy, seriously, and I like to see friendly faces on my page when I come to it!!!

And because I care- a moment of silence for someone that stopped in here (look at Feedjit Map to the right)------->... it appears they are in the middle of the Ocean! Or is that Alaska- OH CRAP- Is Sarah Palin reading this? I'm screwed!!!