Monday, September 15, 2008

It's the end of the world, I'm sorry!

OK, so I have bit of a fascination with natural disasters. I don't know why and I assume it's probably NOT a good thing so no psycho babble necessary, thanks anyway.

I've sat up all hours of the night watching news commentators get their toupees blown off while holding onto a light post. No way, am I the only one entertained by this! I find it hilarious that they WANT to be there. You know those reporters are doing rock-paper-scissors to be 'the chosen one' who gets to report from the area smack dab in the 'cone of death'!

I mean, come on, it's interesting, but let me watch it on my HDTV flat screen, while curled up on my comfy couch, with my fuzzy blanket, while eating Ben & Jerry's Vermonty Python (new earth-shattering discovery- coffee liqueur ice cream with chocolate chunks and Oreo- after eating it, I felt slightly drunk and my chocolate craving was satisfied- but I digress!)

I mean getting blown (yeah, that didn't sound right), getting wet (yeah, that didn't either)- standing in the middle of a hurricane with 100mph winds and rain slapping you silly just doesn't sound appealing to me!

Then you see all of the destruction in the aftermath. Again, fascinating, less funny, sure, but still fascinating. Initially, you feel so awful for the people whose life will have to be built back up from a pile of soggy crap and your heart aches, for a minute.. . until the reporters find the biggest redneck, toothless, illiterate, Billy Bob to interview.

He is puzzled how his trailer- that was in a flood plane- 2 feet off of the water- could have been washed away to smithereens along with all of his Nascar memorabilia and Old Milwaukee can collection! "I just don't know what happened?" Don'cha???

I know that there are people out there that are true victims and I do really feel sorry for them. I wish I could hear some of their stories. But I guess, Bubba's story has more 'entertainment value'.

Well, my fascination with natural disasters came a little too close to home this weekend- karma... I don't know? St. Louis, in the middle of the country, not tropical, at all, got hit by "Tropical Depression Ike"! We got 6 inches of rain in a matter of hours and had issues of "flash flooding" all over the place!




THIS IS ST.LOUIS THIS WEEKEND!!!

My basement flooded, not that huge of a deal since it's a nasty dungeon crappy unfinished basement anyway. As the flood waters receded (never thought I'd say that!) the only test and possible damage will be just how well "preserved" my preserved wedding gown actually was. Who knows when and if I'll ever find out- if any of my daughters take pity on me and want to reuse my dress and if they don't turn out to be lesbians!

In conclusion, my obsession with hurricanes willed a tropical storm to the middle of the country killing 3 people (one woman was taking her dog out and got hit in the head by a tree- I am never taking the dog out again!). Clearly I have caused havoc on the world and I must be stopped. No more CNN and Weather Channel for me. I guess I'll have to just stick to watching politics and FOX News ('cause that's not real news anyway- fair and balanced, my ass!).

My Republican friends, I kid, can't we just all get along?


post signature

16 comments:

me said...

Holy Cow! Where is that Walgreens? (I live in Jefferson County) I was holed up inside all weekend with my boyfriend and when we emereged it quite a surprise with all the down trees and flooding!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

That is a lot of water. I share the same fascination with you. I find really interesting. Did you see Geraldo standing in the water and get taken out by a big wave? That was funny!

Tiffany said...

Hey! Stop insulting my cousin Bubba. Actually I do have a cousin we call bubba. And anytime you want, we can trade houses when the next storm comes. It'll be like wife swap. It'll be fun. I swear!

Annie said...

I share your weather awe. I'm in Overland Park, KS and we were riddled with tornado warnings all stinking night Friday. I send the kids to the basement and go outside to watch. Nice, eh?!?!

jill jill bo bill said...

Sex lingo and a reference for coffee liquor ice cream...THAT, dear Tena, is why I love you!

Great post!!!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

WE got some Ike blow by here in Il as well...it rained for two straight days...a little hard, a little light, a little hard againg. All the rivers around here are flooded, and school was cancelled due to too many flooded streets in the district!! Don't they know my kids could swim to school if they had too...ugh...

Crazed Mom said...

Snort. They'd have to taser me and tie me up for me to watch Fox News.

I love the folks who did not evacuate and then wonder why they're stranded. MORONS!

amelia bedelia said...

way to go! causing all that flooding and all. really, sorry for your basement. and hope wedding dress is reworn!

heavyjunk said...

They always seem to find the same people after a storm, tornado, or UFO sighting or abduction...talk about a thin gene pool...kinda like the British Royals..

Deb said...

People love bad weather news stories. It is only natural, I think. I LOVED watching Geraldo get taken out. Mean, I know, but I loved it just the same.

If one of your daughters become a lipstick lesbian, they'll wear the dress, don't worry. Portia DeRossi wore a dress!

Fox News - uggh. Can't stand them!!

Insane Mama said...

Yikes, The news around here doesn't fill us in with ANYTHING! it's totally annoying

HappyHourSue said...

I admit to hoping Geraldo was going to get clocked by a flying lawn chair. It's just good TV.

Deb said...

i hope the dress came out of it all unscathed.

Zookeeper said...

I didn't see any flooding firsthand, but I was shocked to see all the water in our area on the news. I am sorry to hear about your basement. That really sucks.

sltbee69 said...

Oh the ice cream sounds to die for! I'm going to have to check that out. Yeah, that storm Sunday was crazy. We lost power 1 1/2 hours and as a result the sump pump wasn't working so whaddayaknow? We have soggy carpets in my partially finished basement. Still trying to dry the mofo out! Ugh!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

yeah, God and Ike farted in our general direction too, way up in Northern Ohio! Lots of wind, no rain. Trees and electricity were blown away.
No internet for two.whole.days.
Devastating.
Vermonty Python ice cream must be the silver lining to the past couple of days! Yum! On my grocery list now!