It's the end of the world, I'm sorry!

OK, so I have bit of a fascination with natural disasters. I don't know why and I assume it's probably NOT a good thing so no psycho babble necessary, thanks anyway.

I've sat up all hours of the night watching news commentators get their toupees blown off while holding onto a light post. No way, am I the only one entertained by this! I find it hilarious that they WANT to be there. You know those reporters are doing rock-paper-scissors to be 'the chosen one' who gets to report from the area smack dab in the 'cone of death'!

I mean, come on, it's interesting, but let me watch it on my HDTV flat screen, while curled up on my comfy couch, with my fuzzy blanket, while eating Ben & Jerry's Vermonty Python (new earth-shattering discovery- coffee liqueur ice cream with chocolate chunks and Oreo- after eating it, I felt slightly drunk and my chocolate craving was satisfied- but I digress!)

I mean getting blown (yeah, that didn't sound right), getting wet (yeah, that didn't either)- standing in the middle of a hurricane with 100mph winds and rain slapping you silly just doesn't sound appealing to me!

Then you see all of the destruction in the aftermath. Again, fascinating, less funny, sure, but still fascinating. Initially, you feel so awful for the people whose life will have to be built back up from a pile of soggy crap and your heart aches, for a minute.. . until the reporters find the biggest redneck, toothless, illiterate, Billy Bob to interview.

He is puzzled how his trailer- that was in a flood plane- 2 feet off of the water- could have been washed away to smithereens along with all of his Nascar memorabilia and Old Milwaukee can collection! "I just don't know what happened?" Don'cha???

I know that there are people out there that are true victims and I do really feel sorry for them. I wish I could hear some of their stories. But I guess, Bubba's story has more 'entertainment value'.

Well, my fascination with natural disasters came a little too close to home this weekend- karma... I don't know? St. Louis, in the middle of the country, not tropical, at all, got hit by "Tropical Depression Ike"! We got 6 inches of rain in a matter of hours and had issues of "flash flooding" all over the place!




THIS IS ST.LOUIS THIS WEEKEND!!!

My basement flooded, not that huge of a deal since it's a nasty dungeon crappy unfinished basement anyway. As the flood waters receded (never thought I'd say that!) the only test and possible damage will be just how well "preserved" my preserved wedding gown actually was. Who knows when and if I'll ever find out- if any of my daughters take pity on me and want to reuse my dress and if they don't turn out to be lesbians!

In conclusion, my obsession with hurricanes willed a tropical storm to the middle of the country killing 3 people (one woman was taking her dog out and got hit in the head by a tree- I am never taking the dog out again!). Clearly I have caused havoc on the world and I must be stopped. No more CNN and Weather Channel for me. I guess I'll have to just stick to watching politics and FOX News ('cause that's not real news anyway- fair and balanced, my ass!).

My Republican friends, I kid, can't we just all get along?