Monday, March 23, 2009

KMBFAG- spring break and a new plan

Spring break is here. So is the greenish puke that is apparently the result of blue jelly beans, blue jello and blue icing at the Blue's Clues birthday party we attended yesterday. Joy.

I am in sterilization mode. My hands feel like the skin is going to shed any moment from the dryness and cracking from overused bleach. Joy.

I have failed miserably at my diet- but there is good news...

I was up all night last night and avoided the temptation of buying the In-Styler (even though I have very fine straight hair and this would not help me at all- I was still on the fence- and reaching for the phone and my credit card). I also passed on P9OX- because after the initial desire I had for the program and the frighteningly hard bodies that were in this infomercial- I decided the 'befores' were way out of my league. The deceptive slime sales people convinced me that I also have Adrenal fatigue- which I think means my kidneys are tired- and whose aren't? With their hard hitting questions like... do you gain weight after eating? Do you have a hard time losing weight? Is your ass larger than it was when you were 18? I was sure they had my ticket- luckily, that's when I started falling asleep.

I have gone to the grocery store and have all the ammunition needed for this- thanks Terri, who led me to it- please let me know if it works- if it doesn't, you may want to lie- just for my sanity.

I know I'm going to do well on the dieting front this week- because I'm a competitor. My husband has accepted the challenge. He is going to do his 'diet' (eat less chips and no ice cream- he's convinced that's the ONLY thing holding him back!) And I will do my Sacred Heart Diet. I will do anything it takes to beat him!

I have no idea how well it will work, but I am going to follow it to the letter- mostly because the ingredients were cheap and I like most everything on it-except fruit- as I'm choking down an orange- and I am determined to beat my husband, damn it! Also, I thought it would be good to find something other than my kids to blame my bad attitude on this week and since it's not that time of the month- this seemed like a good substitution.

I know I totally suck, but I really do plan to get back in your good graces this week. How was your week?





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24 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Good luck this week!

And your Snuggie should be on it's way shortly.

Kim said...

Oh, that In-Styler commercial gets me every time! I read a lot of bad review for it though, and didn't buy it. Now I just have to change the channel when I see it because I am afraid they will convince me those reviews were all lies!

Good luck with the competition!

Jill said...

It's a good thing that I don't have infomercials here... I totally get sucked in!

Good luck on your diet competition w/ your hubby! Any advice for me for mid-May is greatly appreciated!

Unknown said...

that P90X commercial scares me!

Unknown said...

I am put off by the soup simply cause I do NOT like green beans...at all.

Can't wait to see how it goes...

I lost 1.5 lbs on Thurs....and have NOT moved since...I guess it's better than going up!

Julie H said...

Good luck. I'm so unmotivated to diet.

Annie said...

I suck, too!

Tiffany said...

I think you can TOTALLY kick his ass. And wouldn't that be sweet victory? Oh and I got my copy of Twilight this weekend. So yea that's pretty much all I did was watch it.

t said...

Is my hair too short for the IN STYLER?? Sometimes I just want to order stuff...useless crap...and then write about it. Then I realized I can't blow money like that. I want to review shitty products for a living. Sounds like such a stress relieving job.

Enjoy "vacation"....

Anonymous said...

You will do great this week, I can feel it! And how in the hell is it possible to not like fruit?!

Anonymous said...

OMG. I walked into work (nanny job) today to the entire family of 6 sick w/ the stomach bug....fun times...I spent the day cleaning up puke and stripping beds...

Although, I guess i got paid for it. ;)

Ash said...

I think you're missing out on a golden opportunity to beat hubs - quit delousing and embrace the barfing bug.

Less cleaning and less dieting.

Win. Win.

Scope said...

That Sacred Heart Soup looks terrifyingly like "The Gawd Aweful Cabbage Soup" diet. I tried that a few years ago, and lost some weight. But I also lost some friends due to the excessive amount of painful stabbing gas attacks that I was having that (TMI) turned me into a methane machine, and possibly the cause of the current global warming. Even with Bean-O couldn't make it past 4 days.

But I hope the modified soup does better for you. ;-)

Just be forewarned. Nobody told me of the debilitating side effects. I couldn't even ride in the car with myself.

Deb said...

oh no... not the soup diet! this brings back bad memories. but i will say, making it into a competition is genius. the only person whose ass i would want to beat would be my husband's.

Susan said...

The diet does work... but you pee all the time and you get so tired of the soup.... and did you know Terri is my sister????

Deb said...

Kick his chip and ice cream eating ass! You can do it.

Jenni said...

WHat is an In-Styler? Do I need it?

jill jill bo bill said...

That's workout thing is what my SIL wanted for his birthday. My daughter is more excited than he is.

Aracely said...

Adrenal fatigue! That's what I got, I'm sure of it... how do you not like fruit? Wacko. ;-)

Jen said...

I don't like fruit either. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I did a diet a few years ago that almost killed me called The Fruit Flush diet. The good thing about these diets is that they work. The bad thing is that once you go back to eating carbs and fat, you will gain the weight back. I think they are good for a quick fix if you have to fit into a dress or something but not longterm. At least not in my experience.

Terri said...

I almost totally got taken in by the instyler too! After 20 minutes of being engrossed in the stupid commerical, accessing their website, and with the phone in my hand I realized I had STRAIGHT HAIR already and no need for half of $240 (probably) piece of junk! Unreal.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I have sucked for like 3 weeks now on my diet. No loss and no gain but also no motivation!

Tonight I am determined to workout!

Debz said...

My week sucked. I think I'm just a forward pass away from throwing in the towel.

Corine (@ComplicatedMama) said...

Sounds like a plan! Competitions are always fun!!

GOOD LUCK!! :)

As for me? Ehhh- I had good days I had bad days.. Im still at 145... although the scale at the gym said 143 with sneakers... HHMMM.. I think Ill believe that one.

The Skinny Scale always wins! ha