KMBFBAG- recharged!

I am not happy at a heavier weight- period. Some people can be- not me- I envy that in others. It invades every aspect of my being. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate having the struggle of finding something to wear and being out in public. I avoid invitations at every cost. I'm just not comfortable in my own skin when I carry extra weight.

I know this is not a good thing and is probably an extreme. I'm not sure if it's attributed to my being SO skinny until my 20's or my upbringing- my mom is a vain woman, too.

About 7 years ago, I was at my heaviest and my husband and I decided to hire a nutritionist. He owned a local gym and offered a program that guaranteed results. We were anticipating our first beach vacation to Florida and wanted to get 'in shape'.

For 3 months, we followed his dietary instructions and worked out exactly as he told us. It probably didn't hurt that he was a bulky beefcake and could crush us with his little finger- we did not want to let him down!

About half way through his program, we went to a party and were offered something that was not 'allowed' on our diet. I remember the woman that offered it asking why I was on a diet. I told her that we were going to Florida. She replied, as she figuratively sized me up,

"Last time I checked, they let people this size in Florida."

Can I tell you how much I love that girl? I wish I thought like her. Sadly, I do not!

After that program, I was in the best shape of my life! I dropped the weight and was quite the hard body (for a mom of 3, anyway). I loved shopping for my vacation clothes! I wasn't uncomfortable on the beach or in my skin.

I don't know if my body will ever get back to that place, but I am determined to try like hell! Back then, it was the trip to Florida. At the party I went to this weekend, I may just have stumbled upon my new driving force...I hadn't seen these friends in about 2 years. It was great to see them. There was more of them to see, too. Three of the 5 women got breast implants! They all look amazing and are looking forward to their summer parties- in the pool- wearing swimsuits-GULP!

Full force ahead, folks!

Last week, I followed the Sacred Heart Diet to a T. I did not have a loss of energy. I felt fine. I would have REALLY enjoyed a chocolate chip cookie, but beauty has its price.

I heard the horror stories about exploding bowels. I didn't have this problem either. Maybe a case of the shits would have rendered better results- I'm glad my body decided to take a pass on that, though.

I had gained a little and at the beginning of last week, was at 143. This morning, the scale read 138. Not the 10-17lb magic bullet that the diet claimed, but absolutely the progress that I needed to keep me going.


Starting Weight- 150lbs
Today's Weight- 138lbs
Total loss- 12lbs

How was your week?