From the time she cursed me under her breath as I smuggled off my diaper and smeared my feces all over my freshly painted pink walls (I preferred purple and she should have known that!) To my entire teenage years spent grounded for talking back and rolling my eyes- FYI- the eyes NEVER got stuck in my head- HA!
If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times- just wait until you have kids. You're going to have a daughter just like you, I know it. Pay backs are a bitch!
They certainly are.
My first child was a simple baby. Uncomplicated. He sprung into my life when I was unprepared and foolish. God had pity on me and sent me an intermediate model. I was thankful and maybe a little bit cocky. I can handle this mom stuff -no problem- bring it on!
Fast forward, four years later- the ring on my finger, the mortgage, the yearning to even out the testosterone/estrogen balance in my home, I was 1.3 children away from average and no one likes to be sub par.
She was planned- methodically- like details of a dinner party that had to be perfect. She arrived healthy and gorgeous and perfect, just as planned. But she tricked us. She had a head full of black hair, but, little did we know, it hid the devil horns so the hospital staff wouldn't catch on.
From the moment we brought our newborn home- she screamed, wailed, and cried in her soprano pitch. She knows how to make an entrance! She would not nurse- down right refused. She threw up formula. If her motor skills were more advanced, she certainly would have thrown vases- no doubt!
I brought her to the doctor, at least twice a week for the first 6 months. The MRI showed no neurological problems. Medicines didn't help (her). I wouldn't settle for the diagnosis of 'colic' until the pediatrician wrote me a prescription to get through it.
When she turned 10 months old, she started talking- a lot. I want..., give me..., no no ..., come here now... and with those words came a freedom from her little voiceless prison where she had been trapped. She could finally communicate and the tears and howling stopped.
She is a true diva in every sense of the word! Expressive and theatrical- lover of anything sparkly and glittery. She is my one true hope for getting to the Academy Awards in this lifetime to cheer her on to a win.
She has a huge heart and is the most sensitive person I've ever known. As she hits the decade mark- her drama queen status sometimes borders on royal pain in the ass, but I know it's just the way of the world. She will get hers, in due time.
Happy Birthday, Addison Grace, my little melodramatic mademoiselle!