Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Case of the Blahs


I'm not going to bore you with excuses. Not because I can't come up with them- I'm very good at that. Not that I've exhausted the PMS and 'that time of month' shit- 'cuz I haven't. I get one week of Pre-PMS- just the blahs. Then I get one week of PMS- sore boobs, water retention, bipolar skin treatments of zit cream on one spot and wrinkle cream on another and psychosis. Then I get one week of uterus lining disposing from my body causing cramps (sorry dudes- it's the truth), unusually excessive bitchiness, appetites of epic proportions, and psychosis. That leaves one week of relative normalcy. That's one small window!

Believe it or not- I am currently in my 'balanced' interval- my one week of as close to sane as I get. And something just ain't right! I don't know what it is. I don't feel sick. I don't have a fever. No headache. Unfortunately, the appetite is strong as ever.

I'm freezing my ass off and have no energy. I have been camped out under a blanket on my couch for 2 days and I cannot get warm! I don't have a Slanket or a Snuggie because those commercials are gay (unless they would like to sponsor me- in which case- gay in the good way- like Anderson Cooper or Tim Gunn). I prefer to keep my hands under my blanket. Except when I have to answer the phone which has become a colossal pain in the ass- P.S. STOP CALLING ME! AND having to take my hand out from under my blanket so the remote control will work! Which is often when I'm trying to keep up with American Idol, Real Housewives of New York, The Bastard, I mean, Bachelor, and The Biggest Loser! What's a cold ass pathetic girl with no life and a case of the blahs supposed to do?

That's what's going on with me. Do you have a diagnosis or sympathy? Do you have some suggestions of what to do? And if you suggest I work out, may I suggest you NOT say that!

While we're on the subject of suggestions- is there anything you would like to know about me? Yeah, I'm desperate here! Fodder is at a minimum until I'm admitted into the asylum or get warm- it's a toss up which will come first- then it will get good- I swear, I hope! Till then- questions? Give me something!

post signature


Jen said...

Alright, since I have Idol on my mind I'll ask you about that:

-Who is your favorite contestant this season so far? Any guesses on who you think will win?

-Who is your favorite Idol contestant of all time?

-Do you sing? If you were on Idol, what song would you perform?

I totally understand where you are coming from with the PMS struggles. I am the same way-one good week a month and even that is hit or miss. I've heard good things about vitamin (B, D and calcium) supplements. I can't say for sure if it works but I've heard that it can. Do you take any of these?

Hope you feel better soon!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Girl, you need to get some iron pills...sounds like you're anemic! I stay cold and trust me, I get grouchy when I'm cold!!!

Suggestions??? Sex! Not only will it warm you up but keep a smile on your face! You can warm up in the afterglow! ;)

Take care of yourself and hope you feel better.

The Mom Jen said...

If that were me, i'd diagnose depression, and I'd go to the doctor and she'd say, you stopped your meds, who are you God, and I'd be all, well i was feeling better and she'd say yah duh...it's the meds...and i'd feel like shit and more depressed and then i'd go fill the damn Rx again. and then this would all repeat same time next year. so i'm not one to ask.

My question to you is...what is the best quality you love about yourself?!

Threeboys1mommy said...

Uhm, I have a question! Why would you imply Anderson Cooper is gay when you know I love him and would leave my whole world for him!?! Why would you break my heart that way?

Deb said...

i have a question... do you think michael was able to lose all the weight to save anyone from being eliminated last night?

i have the same blahs as you, and i can't seem to snap out of it. my husband has been home a lot lately, too, so i think there may be a correlation.

Brittany said...

Sooo...I should be concerned I spend my days on the couch under a blanket, watching reality tv????


Well...how about how horrible Idol was last night!? Worst group to date! And the BLIND guy!? Hello, I feel bad that you are blind, and I hate to be the one to say it, but not only can you not really see, you cannot really sing. It's just an illusion. People are too busy watching your hollow eyes to hear you be off tune, especially since you can't hide behind your piano.

Ok, I feel better. Maybe try that? Bashing the disabled?

Just A Chic... said...

My question: Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?

My diagnosis: You have a case of WHENINTHEHELLISWINTERGOINGTOEND also known as SPRINGHURRYUPANDGETHERE. We all go into hibernation when winter comes. By this time our body is ready for spring, but the latest snowfall has confused our internal clocks. You're cold because it IS cold.

Jen said...

I'm going to have to agree with Jen (uh the mom jen - not myself). I feel icky cause I've been off my meds. Also I'm pretty sure the cold f'ing weather is not helping. I was starting to miss you, glad you are still there. Hope you feel better soon.

Under the Influence said...

Try a hot bath to warm up, cute PJ's so you look good and then get your ass back on the couch until you feel better!

Anonymous said...

you have SAAD.

We all do.

Look to the bright side, it will all be over in 3 months.

Dorsey said...

I feel the SAME way about the Snuggie, if they want to REALLY improve it, make it with gloves! I think I'll make myself one in pink with cozy gloves attached so my hands still stay warm too! hehe

Annie said...

Get in the car and come to my place.I'll get you good and liquored up and we'll go make asses of ourselves. You'll have plenty to write about.

Soxy Deb said...

WTF!?!?!? Anderson Cooper's gay?!
I guess I won't need to have that fantasy anymore. Thanks for spoiling it for me T. *sigh* Now I'm depressed. Don't go to work for a suicide hotline, m'kay?

Complicated Mama said...

I had THE WORST case of the "Blaaahh's " last week.

I am the same exact way.. I get Pre-PMS and PMS.. and usually the week right after is the most sane for me... "the calm after the storm if you will" lol

Last week what helped me was going to the mall ALONE buying clothes (cause I just felt BLAH lookng).. letting those Clinque peeps do my make up... Sounds silly, but I felt totally re-newed.

I was actually writing a post about it.. but now Im afraid you stole my thunder lol jk

alanna rose said...

Get yourself a crocheted afghan. The holes allow the remote to work from under the blanket.

Kristina P. said...

Who you callin' gay?!?!?