Friday, March 20, 2009

Friday Fragments

Holy Crap- how did it become Friday already?! Here, once again, are my fragmented thoughts for you to ponder- possibly throughout the entire weekend- since I'm not much of a weekend blogger- so Friday Fragments here are really my Weekend Fragments... join in with your own at Mrs.4444's place.

***For people that have real jobs, I know, or least I've heard the old adage "Thank God It's Friday", but I don't get it? I understood when I was in school, but that was a long time ago. Now, Fridays just mean, loud needy kids that feel they must be entertained and fed, dragging dirt into my house, wearing lots of clothes that will need to be washed and the headache that won't go away caused by their constant fighting!

I haven't worked a real job with living and breathing people that earns money in over 10 years. When I did, I worked in retail management, which is just another word for modern day slave that deals with fashion or home goods instead of cotton.

I made a decent 40 hr week salary, but easily worked 60+ hours a week- including holidays, weekends, and evenings- no overtime pay. I was young and dumb and apparently bad at math. My husband is a policeman and when we dated and were first married, our schedules worked out really well. Neither of us had any concept of a Monday through Friday 9-5 job.

I'm so out of touch now that I gauge my days of the week by what's on TV- totally pathetic- I know! BTW- Catherine at Evolving Mommy has left me many comments when I ramble about TV that she doesn't own a TV? WHA?? I mean, good for you. But wow- I just don't think I could do it! You must think I am the biggest loser on the face of the earth- bless your heart!

My kids try to keep me apprised on the days of the week, "Mom, it's Tuesday, you need to pick me up in the office after Detention"... when what he really should be saying is, "Mom, American Idol is on tonight." Which, in turn would make me realize that I didn't watch AI the night before, so it must be the performance night, which would lead me to the conclusion that it is Tuesday and I must pick him up from detention- perfectly logical reasoning!

*** Don't forget to leave a comment as an entry for my giveaway- yeah, it's an adult toy website- don't get all prude on me- we all got pipes to clean (wise words from the Millionaire Matchmaker and her goofy bangs) I really expected more from my readers! After all, Google Analytics has listed keywords to get to this site as...

stroking boobs, Margaret Cho Atm sex (I've linked that if you are unsure what it stands for since I'm a giver, but NOT EVEN I would dream of that- so BEWARE!), Fairies get fucked, giggle and bounce girl boobies, and how to get my mom to meet my lesbian lover

How proud am I?

***If you read about my cheap ass sister before I SPRUNG my sexy giveaway on you, you will understand the predicament I'm in... Her 30th birthday is in a few weeks and I have no idea what to get her. My mom and her friends are making her a scrapbook of her life- she totally falls for that kind of shit. I could use some suggestions- I thought about a sex toy- that would embarrass the crap out of her and I think I would enjoy her humiliation- because I love her, of course.

***You may be familiar with my school 'issues'. My kids go to Catholic school- I don't love it- it's very strict- very expensive- and very, very Catholic. You are expected to go to Adoration and say the Rosary once a week. I have been Catholic my whole life, I even consider myself a practicing Catholic, but not to their standards. I feel there is a level of judgement due to my lack of 'commitment' and that bugs me.

My son has had issues because of what they consider 'bad behavior'- that's really not my concern anymore because he is going to a public high school next year. My concern is- my girls that will be in 3rd and 5th grade. I really wanted and had every intention to send them to public school next year. The cost was certainly part of the decision. My 10 yr old struggled with the curriculum earlier this year, but has come around and seems to have found her stride.

Anyway, the public elementary school district that we live in is a year-round cycle. They go to school for 9 weeks and are off for 3 weeks- year round. This has given me a lot of anxiety because I really wanted to go back to work and working around this funky schedule plus a high schooler and a preschooler- 3 different school schedules to work around and I'm kind of freaking out about it... just had to get that off my chest!

*** Today- half day at school- yuck. Next week- spring break- double yuck! Next week's blogging will be one extreme or the other- I will either be live blogging the entire week or locked in a closet crying and my desktop does not reach there- so it's just a crap shoot, really! So I guess I'll see ya when I see ya.

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Kim said...

Give her the sex toy. She won't be able to exchange it ;)

Soxy Deb said...

What about any old photos of her that you can make into a video collage - maybe kids births or wedding if she doesn't already have something like that. That's all I got. But when my birthday rolls back around, feel free to alvish me with expensive gifts. I'm easy to get along with like that.

The school schedule? Holy Mary mother of God. Sorry.....Catholic humor. I would probably have to stick with the Catholic school if I could afford it. That way you may have more stability with which to find a job. Just my 2 cents. Which with today's inflation means diddlysquat.

michelle said...

2.. Give her the sex toy and have a camera ready when she opens it. The pictures are so worth it.

2. Year round schooling? THREE different schedules? Can you say INSANE? Just sayin'

3. You are a good catholic (or good budist, or good jew, or good whatever) if you do wha tyou think is good. Live a good life, love God, nuff said. Don't let other people determine what you are or should be. You determine your standards, not them.

You make me laugh. You make me feel like just a typical mom instead of so weird. I think you are a pretty good person for that alone.

Under the Influence said...

Sex toy all the way. The store won't let her take it back and she will be forced to use it or let it go to waste and she doesn't sound like the kind of person who would let anything go to waste...

Deb said...

so, tena, tell me... how DO i get my mom to meet my new lesbian lover?

the only gift i know how to give is a target gift card. so maybe you should give her a sex toy.

Kristina P. said...

Haha! I never would have guessed your kids go to a strict Catholic school!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Give her a coupon clipper scrapbook and some scissors and a magazine subscription to saving more money. She may love that!!

Anonymous said...

LOVE your blog!

Their thinking of making our school systems here year round.

And I TOTALLY revolve my schedule around prime time.

Deb said...

Sex toy. Gotta do it. Oh, and blog about it.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I worked retail for 10 years in mgmt. before I became a mom.... what the hell were we thinking?????

Year round school.... yikes!!! Not so sure I could do it!

And my spring break is just ending... I'm so sad because it's back to work for this mom....... counting down the days for summer vacation!

Jen said...

I do the same thing with tv and days of the week. That is why summer is such a blur. Big Brother is on like every night so it gets totally confusing because then you have to figure out if it is a Power of Veto night or Eviction night or Head of Household competition. If you don't watch BB, you are probably saying WTF is she talking about at this point. ;)

With the regular school schedule, I still stress about what I will do with my kids during the summer when they are off for almost 3 months. I know there are camps, but I just hate the thought of having to do that. What about a job at the school? Or would that lead to a complete mental breakdown? I know there are moms who have the whole working thing down, but I just really have no idea how they do it. If you figure out the secret, please let me know.

Miss Yvonne said...

I was going to suggest a really heartfelt, homemade gift for your sister but then I thought about it for another minute and I've changed my mind. Get her the sex toy. If she's squirmy about it, just say "Don't worry, I tried it out before I wrapped it to make sure you would like it."

Mrs4444 said...

I think you should buy her a subscription to The Tightwad Gazette. That school thing? That must wreak havoc on all parents in that district. Good luck with that.
Sure am glad you unloaded all of these this week; sounds like you could use a break. (I hope it helped a little.)

Brittany said...

OK, so why doesn't everyone catch on to the fact that if they want me to know what day of the week it is, they need to refer to my DVR schedule.
Monday- Gossip Girl
Tuesday- Idol
Wednesday- ANTM/ Idol
Thursday- Office
Friday- DVR Catch Up
Saturday- Chinese food and Movies
Sunday- Big Love

How is this hard people!?!?!?

A Buns Life said...

I'm a working mom, and just made it through a week of spring break hell at home with my kids. Actually it wasn't too bad, they are still alive after all. :)

Midwest Mommy said...

When I was working I hated when people would say "Man I wish everyday was Friday." I would look at them and say "that would mean you would still have to come to work everyday if everyday was Friday." Always made them stop and think, lol!

Honeybell said...

I hate the TGIF'ers. For some of us Friday often means the beginning of 12 hour shift weekends. Screw you people and your every weekend off! :p

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Tena, how the heck did I miss this post? I feel I mist set the record straight... I do own a TV. It sits in my living room and gets 1 channel clear enough to watch. NBC. I am too cheap to pay for cable or satelite. Our local NBC station is going digital in 2 weeks and then even though that TV will be sitting there I will not have a thing to watch aside from static.

I don't think your lame, I relay on you to keep me up-to-date on all those TV related things I should know so that I can still be competitive when the Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture 2000's edition comes out.