Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Pre -op quotes

Just got home from my husband's surgery. He is now recovering and everything went well. The things he said while he was drugged up were some of the funniest things I've ever heard! The setting is me sitting next to his bed trying to be as calm and somber as possible. My bedside manner was truly tested ( I was cracking up, but so were the nurses and techs!) when he said these random quotes!

I don't want them to look at my wiener.

I remember our first date- we went golfing (No. We didn't.) you wore a plaid skirt- that was one good looking outfit- you should wear that again-Sure, I still have that skirt that I have NO idea what you're talking about from 15 years ago!

If something happens, give my brother my desk.

When I was 18... ( that was the complete thought! )

Cheeseburgers are good.

I don't mind crowded beaches.

Can't I wear my underwear?

I don't feel these drugs at all.

Yeah, sure you don't!

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31 comments:

J'Ollie Primitives said...

We'd have people come back to our unit after having consious sedation for a procedure. They might have been consious but they were outta their minds ~ one guy we all loved kept saying "Your'e beee-yooo-ti-fulll, yes you are" so we had a beauty pageant in his room in with our ugly selves.
Hope Mr. Hubby feels better!

Sabrae said...

LOL That is too funny! I know I have said some weird weird things under sedation. But those are priceless!!! I'm honestly surprised that you didn't try to get some interesting information out of him :)

Dorsey said...

Those are great!! When my son was drugged for his eye surgery he just couldn't keep both his feet and his head on the mattress at the same time. If one was down the other would float up. hehe He didn't say too much that was funny though, but then again he was only a little over 2 yrs old.

A kid in the bed next to ours (he was 12) kept signing showtunes. HA!

Deb said...

oh now that is funny. i hope you plan to use it against him.

Cheryl said...

I can SO relate to the stuff your husband said, except I don't have that god forsaken wiener. LOL. I hope his recovery is speedy and he's back annoying you soon!

Deb said...

I am so glad you blogged these for our enjoyment...too funny.

Did they look at his weiner??

Brooks said...

super funny about your husband! My husband says funny stuff like that in his sleep.....well not as funny...
Saw on your twitter dialogue that you mentioned St Charles....we may be neighbors...I live right out side of Wentzville and grew up in St Charles! Small world.

Annie said...

I think you need a little road trip and some retail therapy in KC to recoop from the craziness of your week! :)

Tiffany said...

LMAO I too laughed at my hubby before AND after his surgery. I'm glad hubby's surgery went good.

jill jill bo bill said...

I LOOOOVED post-op, just for those reasons. The funniest was when this very nerdy man reached up and gave a student nurse a BIG smack on the mouth. I was rolling! She cried. It was hilarious!

Travis Erwin said...

I'm with your husband. Anesthesia and the old environs of surgical rooms do not do much to enhance a fella's attributes.

I don't want some nurse taking a peak at my junk under those conditions. A guy has to be careful about his reputation.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

So it looks like his golf fantasy came out. Screw the skanky nurse he wants the plaid golfer!!

Bring out the pleated plaid schoolgirl skirt!!

Too Funny!!

If something happens give my brother my desk
hahahahaha

The Mom said...

LOL! My hubby was hilarious on Morphine, HIL AR EEE US!

Honeybell said...

LMAO!! I love people under the influence of drugs. Unless the drugs are making them puke. That's not so cool.

In order to make him feel better, you can tell him that after my c-section I informed the anesthesiologist I normally worked with "You gave me a SHITLOAD of drugs, I just love you!"

Heinous said...

Lol...that must be a hell of a desk. Yeah, those drugs don't affect you at all, that's why they use them ;)

WayneJohn said...

Glad to hear all went well.

Can you share any of those pills? I think I might need some...

Eudea-Mamia said...

You've got to tape that for him - excellent!

So glad he's doing well, you know, physically.

Em

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

I think those comments made it all worth it!

Paige said...

I dont remember the ridiculous things I have said, but my dad asks everyone to marry him and my FIL kept asking when he could have some weed.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOL...to bad you didn't record it...could whip it out every time he pisses you off...

Legal Diva said...

Those are funny! The first time my husband had anesthesia (to remove wisdom teeth) he kept swearing it wasn't doing anything. Yeah, sure.

Oh, and if you saw a dorky guy with curly black hair and buddy holly glasses - that was my brother! LOL.

KimandCo said...

Aaahhhh...better living through chemicals. True for your hubby and that was my last comment as they wheeled me into OR a few years ago!

Tami said...

Too funny :)

Soxy Deb said...

Funny shit! I remember when I had my hysterectomy 15 years ago and still on the dope I told my huisband "Don't ever let me do that again". Yeah, cause that's an option.

I am so glad that he made it through and is on the mend. Take care of him. When he gets back on his feet we can go back to picking on him (lol).

Real Live Lesbian said...

LOL...you've gotta love the drugs. Good thing he couldn't feel 'em!

Lottifish said...

Glad to hear that he's doing well!

C said...

OMG--that is the funniest thing EVER! You totally should've gotten him on video!

~Christy
Heavy on the Caffeine

Aubrey said...

Wow.
Gimme some of that shit! LOL

My fave...his complete thought "when I was 18..." Too funny!

Diva said...

Heh. Drugged out spouses are the best. I'll be dealing with mine on the 17th and I'm sure the nurses are looking forward to him coming back.

He's a hoot drugged up almost as much as he is every day.

Rick said...

Every man's nightmare to get drugged up in the hospital and start running off with a loose tongue.

Very funny.

The "weiner" comment? Perfectly understandable.

HappyHourSue said...

OMG that's so funny!!!! better than Google Analytics!!!!

p.s. congrats on your win:) It softened the blow to know that it made you & Mcmommy so happy.