Thursday, November 13, 2008

Catch up- Friday Fragments


Friday Fragments will have to serve as my penance for this lackluster week of posts, or lack thereof. Join Friday Fragments with Mrs. 4444's! Her genius brainchild is my reprieve every week to get back into the good graces with you lovely people that continue to visit, even when there's no nudity! I ramble about my absurd self- absorbed problems like the big fat cry baby that I am. Last week, Mrs.4444 wrote:


When bloggers start a post by telling people how boring or stupid the post is, I stop reading. Like Dr. Phil says, "When people tell you who they are, believe them." I'm not going to waste my time reading something you didn't even think was worth anyone's time. I'm just sayin'....



It got me thinking... The way I think of it is... when I was younger (and still, but particularly when I was younger) I was very self- conscious of the size of my nose. Think Karl Malden's nose meets Bill Cosby's nose and it lands on Kate Moss' emaciated face circa 1996 (I was VERY thin). My nose- (thanks dad) was not very proportioned to the rest of my face. In my mom's infinite wisdom (easy for her- she gave my sister her very skinny perfect nose) she offered up the advice to never tell anyone of my insecurity or "let on to it" because that would be the first thing they look at from that point on. I took her advice and never spoke another word about it to anyone. Now I know you're going and looking at my nose -see my mom was sooo right- sadly, it's still the same nose and, though I'm not happy with it, my face (and unfortunately the rest of me) has grown into it a little better than when I was 18!

Anyway, that was a long way to go to make my point, but I'm here- finally! My point is, that I'm amazed that people read my crap, really! Sometimes I am guilty of blatantly admitting that a post will suck and apologize profusely for the suckiness (who knows Mrs. 4444, you may have enjoyed those posts?) Dr. Phil is right... I'm telling you that I am often sucky! You get your warnings, well in advance! However, Sitemeter (formerly Google Analytics) and your comments tell me someone is reading! That amazes me and thrills me more than you know and I want to say thank you to those that do read this or have ever humored me by stopping in and putting up with my crap. I try to be a good bloggy friend and return the favor as well as I can. I, being the needy, over analyzing person that I am, do notice that some of the people I used to hear from, have disappeared. I hope that it's just that they came to their senses and that I didn't offend anyone because the only deprecation here should be to me! The community of support that is available out here is just incredible and I wanted to acknowledge that and make certain that I hadn't crossed any (too many) lines!

***The insurance thing is still a mess. The "person in charge" was "out of the office" (convenient, eh?) until Friday- I'm not holding my breath, but am hopeful that the letter I sent him convinces him that I am a dangerous woman that must not be crossed!

***All that's left of the Halloween candy is the crap (suckers, Whoppers- we are not a malted milk ball family, hard candy, and those freakish orange and black wrapped candies that I'm certain is laden with razors since I've never opened one!)

***I went to a lecture at my kids' school this evening- aren't I good? I really don't deserve any credit- it was mandatory. I'm still a little under the weather, so my husband offered to go in my place. Until I told him the subject "Theology of the Body" - for non-Catholics- the guilt of everything sexual (except reproduction)- he quickly reneged.

If you have been following me, you may know that I am something of a 'lost sheep'- religiously speaking, lately. I went in expecting nothing and was pleasantly surprised. I can't say I agreed with everything, but I think there were some very interesting points and hope I can grow from some of the things she spoke of. The lecture is "Parents Get Real" and it is (mind you, a Catholic school's perspective) tips on discussing the long dreaded subject with your children. It is a very Christian derived route to the teachings of love and marriage and sexuality (and definitely in that order!) I took it with a grain of salt, and thought it was worth listening and she was a great speaker. If you're interested in details, I can give you them privately.

***While at the lecture, an hour and a half on a hard chair, my ass fell asleep. The 2 large iced mocha's I had in lieu of dinner weren't feeling like my best decision. I had to pee- at least I thought I had to pee- I was pretty sure I hadn't peed in my pants, but my butt was asleep so I couldn't have been 100% sure. Luckily, I made it to the bathroom. It was the never ending kind when you think you're done and you feel like you're done, but you know you can't be done because you still hear yourself going!

*** Since I've already gone there, the lingering cough that I have is not making me happy! If you have never birthed a child or by some FREAK OF NATURE Kegel exercises actually worked for you or you have bucked up $10,000 for vaginal reconstruction and you can laugh, sneeze, run, or cough without taking that split second before to consciously squeeze you butt cheeks together or contort your legs into the scissor position, count your blessings and count them now!

***Beebs is my youngest. She's not in school since I'm a bad mom that did not send her to 3 yr old preschool ( I did all my other kids), but it's a long sordid story (and since I feel horrible about it, I will now defend my position and tell you)... The school I would have sent her to is closing this year and I did not want her to have to adjust to a new preschool. The only other one is very pricey and I could not justify the cost for her going and 'playing' for 2 hours and 15 minutes- 2 days a week. So, I decided to wait and send her to the expensive one when she is 4- judge if you must.

Not the point, the point is that, my other kids get school pictures- crappy as they may be, they are proof that they existed during this school year and since I am horribly neglectful when it comes to picture taking- I'll take crappy school pictures! Especially when that means I don't have to fix them up and bring them to a portrait studio and watch some poor woman jump up and down with a stuffed chicken on her head to get my kids to look at her and smile- to only get more expensive crappy pictures that have a different background.

Off track again, the point is- Beebs does not have physical proof of her being alive this year, so I had to do my parental duty. I put a hand-me-down dress on her and we went to the portrait studio. As I sit there waiting with my Little Match Girl, I watch parents walking in with garment bags filled with elaborate gowns, cutesy Christmas matchy outfits- hats, gloves-the works. It's finally our turn...I just wanted a 'head shot' that resembled what the big kids got at school. NOOOO... I had to have a whole 'set'- she tells me. She then says- OK, time for her outfit change - wha? Me, quick thinker, I am, "Beebs, here, put on your hat and coat- they don't match, but at least we're following the rules, right?"





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24 comments:

WheresMyAngels said...

I love that photo! My poor four year old has only had two professional pictures. One at 18 months and one at 3. She is the 4th child and I think it is normal to neglete them.

Sabrae said...

I read the blog everyday! :) Send the candy my way! I love malt balls! Love the picture:)

Mrs4444 said...

Yes, Tena, I have enjoyed reading your crap many, many times :) I love your mom's advice; seriously. She sounds like a smart lady.

Also LOVE that photo; Beebs is ADORABLE!

That Kegel thing? I've done those things at least six times, and I can verify that they do NOT work!

Have a great weekend, my friend :)

Deb said...

beebs rocks my world. she looks like she could belong to me (hmm... i HAVE always wanted a girl...plotting...)

oh, and you're stuck with me. sorry. dr. phil can kiss my ass.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Where to start?

I have an incredible crap-o-meter. You, my friend, are not crap, about crap, or even remotely smell like crap.

Good luck with the insurance, send over the Whoppers, and seriously, it took an hour and a half for them to explain tab A goes in slot B, and only slot B, and only after a blessing from God and Country?

That's some good filler there.

Love the picture!!

Em

Legal Diva said...

I have 5 children, and I decided early on to have fancy portraits made only when they start Kindergarten, graduate high school, and get married. It was actually my mother-in-laws idea (my husband is the youngest of 4). Otherwise, I'm sticking to snapshots. Don't feel bad. That is a really cute picture of Beebs!

Several of my best friends are catholic- I am not. I never understood some of what they talked about, but it sounds interesting. And probably useful to us heathen non-catholics as well. I like the idea of confession too- since it makes telling secrets okay.

Maybe you should send the razor laden candies on to the 'person in charge' as a sort of underhanded threat...

KimandCo said...

I have three boys. And guess what? I have even seen and heard about "costume changes" for BOY pictures. In fact, someone near and dear to me has done this with her boys. It was all I could do not to crack up when it was mentioned to me. Oh wait, I DID crack up. It probably wasn't appreciated, but I couldn't help it.

The Daily Blonde said...

That picture is a prize....I absolutely love it. I'm a total crabby ass today and that made my day. Something about her little smile with a bit of her mom's devilish twinkle in the eye..perfect.

Tena, you are awesome. Don't change, never apologize and always be yourself. Dammit.

Tiffany said...

Aww Beebs looks like she's posing in a magazine. Awesome pic! I HATED taking my kid to get pictures. One time he busted his head on the buggy while waiting (yes we go to Wal-mart for pictures) so that year he had a big ass red mark on his head. And those moms in the picture line are some major BITCHES.

I like your blog because you make me feel at home. I mean who else says fuck as much as we do?

Danielle said...

Your description of coughing and crossing your legs has me laughing!! So true!! And who the hell do Kegels actually work for!?

thanks!

Cute pic!

The Mom said...

Oh man that looks like a model shot, looks like her mom, so gorgeous!

Jill said...

All right... that photo is amazingly gorgeous!!

And kegels? I know I'm doing them right... but why the hell aren't they working?

Good luck on your insurance... what a total pain in the ass!

manic mariah said...

That photo kicks butt!! We al loving reading your stuff

Zookeeper said...

She is absolutely darling! Good thinking, mom! Have a good weekend, and I hope next week is better for you.

Dads(2) said...

Cute cute photo! Love your stories . . . you ROCK!

jill jill bo bill said...

She is absolutely gorgeous! So glad to hear you have sent a letter to the Ins. bastards. I want you to know my big pointy nose thinks your nose has nothing to worry about. I love ya, girl, and miss our daily emails. I promise to be a better friend when I get back. Sheesh, that sounded bad, but you know what I mean.

Mandy said...

We probably could compare notes on the Catholic thing...my husband is currently going through RCIA and I am his sponsor. Our next talk is somewhat about Theology of the Body.

I love the honestly in your posts. :)

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I have to say..I'm a little tired after reading all of that...but I get you girl...

BTW the picture is sooooo cute...I have missed plenty of photo ops..bad mom, I know.

jaime said...

i'm still reading! that was a great post...and i forgot all the things i wanted to say about it by the time i finished but that's ok! i enjoyed every word! have a great weekend Tena...

word ver: chimp lol

jaime said...

how can i forget! ADORABLE PIC!! i love animal print...

Megryansmom said...

Happy Friday!

Paige said...

The picture is awesome, and way better proof that she existed than plain ol school pics. She is beautiful

I too read you almost every day---

Deb said...

Love the leopard print!!! So chic!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Adorable! I loathe pics of the kids in all their perfect little holiday frills and matchy-matchy b.s. So you picture is the absolute bees knees!