Kinky Plans

Ok, so here it is... I didn't plan on posting today. I was going to plan a big "unveiling" of my Halloween pictures and it was going to be great! I was going to leave you all sitting on the edge of your chairs... with no new posts- waiting for Monday- since I have noticed that not many people read my blogs on Saturdays and Sundays.

So, that still is the plan for the most part and when Monday's post comes (hopefully as planned- but read this post, things may not go as planned). But when it comes it will definitely be worth it! I'll give you a hint- I'm clairvoyant and I was wearing latex- that's all I'm saying! Will you be able to stand the anticipation???

The kink in my plan, however, needs to be preluded by a small explanation about my pussy husband, me being a bitch, and tough love...

For months and months now, he has complained of "indigestion". I think it's even made a post or two. At one point, we wrote it off as lactose intolerance, once we thought he was just a drunk, and once, a glutton! After the first few months, I began thinking that he was either the biggest pussy in the world or there was really an underlining medical problem.

While in Alabama, he had some of his worst attacks yet. Not sleeping at all. Going and soaking at the hot tub at 2, 3 and 4AM. Keeling over the side of the bed at all hours of the night. Trust me, it made for a GREAT vacation!

I guess it's important to know that my husband is scared to death of doctors and is the biggest hypochondriac ever- which is a bit of a contradiction when it comes down to it, really. He's convinced he has cancer, but pretty sure that if he ignores it, it'll just go away- what a dumb ass!!!

So when we returned, I gave him an ultimatum of attending a dr. visit that I had scheduled for him or no nookie ever again! It was a huge blow to my ego when he chose the latter! But Karma is a funny friend of mine, well, kind of, in a sadistic sort of way.

This morning at 5AM, he started throwing up profusely. The devil inside of me smiled, "so you ready to go to the Dr. yet?" I asked with I told you so coming out of my pores. Finally, after 4 hours of vomiting uncontrolably, he decided he had enough and wanted to start getting some again (well, that probably wasn't on his mind, but I like to make everything about me!)

SOOOO, long story, still relatively long, I am typing this on a gorgeous state of the art computer in the new hospital complex behind our house. It's really a huge monitor and a pleasure to type on, but again, this isn't about me and how I want a new computer. This is about my husband getting Catscans and MRI's and being diagnosed with Pancreatitis, Gallstones and an inflamed liver and having been admitted for a minimum of 4 days!

My head is spinning while I'm trying to line up people to take care of my kids and chaeffeur them to the obnoxious amount of activities that they have scheduled- so what am I doing- I'm fucking writing on my blog at the hospita! Where are my scruples, people?

So I feel like shit that my husband is sick, but secretly happy that he will get better finally (and that I was right.) I feel like shit that I am blogging down the hall where I should be providing moral support or a blow job or something. I feel guilty that someone else is going to have to care for my kids for a few days- no- strike that- I'm good with that!

Luckily for me, he is hooked up to an IV and is not mobile because if he knew I was on this computer, he would soooo take out his gun and kill me!

So, I'm going to go pretend to be a doting wife that was just walking around the hospital grounds getting some fresh air and maybe eat some hospital food. Hopefully I will be back soon- not to my home computer, but to this computer (did I mention it's a pleasure?) to check for comments- because I can't be expected to sit in that little room the entire day, right?