My Fucked Up Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, 13 years ago, an independent, strong woman married a policeman. The policeman had a good insurance plan through his employer and the couple decided to use the highest form that offered 100% coverage of insurance available to them for their growing family.

Their premiums way back when were $300 a month and gradually increased to $400, $500and the $650 a month. Though, at times, the premiums would break the bank, they knew in their hearts it was better to be safe than sorry. The only time the insurance was ever used was for birthing babies and well child visits.

Flash Forward to last Saturday (following a 6 day stay in the hospital by 'Papa Bear")- in the mail, Mama Bear discovers a new insurance card. The new insurance card reads "Inpatient and Surgical care- subject to deductible and 10% of total bill"!

Mama Bear immediately grabbed for the Klonepin and has not stopped crying since. This children, is what we call a nervous breakdown- can you say nervous breakdown?

After many calls to Papa Bear's employer we realized that this statement on the enrollment form was the one that mislead us:

If you do not fill out this form and return it to the benefits section you will automatically be placed in the $250 Base Medical Plan with the same coverage you had prior

Confused Mama Bear, no, we didn't have the $250 base medical plan BUT we wanted "the same coverage we had prior!" Not to mention, for the past 13 years, protocol has been, if you don't want to change your current coverage- just leave it alone.

Mama Bear did not fill out the forms and thought she was doing the right thing (Dumb Ass). As a result and a horrible coincident that Papa Bear was hospitalized THE DAY the lower insurance plan was activated, Mama and Papa Bear find themselves screwed!

Furthermore, the premium has not even been deducted from Papa Bear's paycheck until Friday. Mama and Papa Bear started frantically calling ANY person that would listen to them- explaining the misunderstanding- begging for resolution before Friday.

Even the INSURANCE COMPANY was on our side! They said "pursue your Human Resources Department". But Papa Bear's Mother fuckers in charge of benefits wouldn't budge!

Mama Bear is close to being institutionalized from the bad breaks, horrendous timing, thought of paying 10% of a $200,000 hospital bill after having 100% coverage for 13 years and the lack of compassion and understanding she has encountered in the last 2 days. She still has a cold and is taking NyQuil to keep from coughing up a lung through all of the tears and hysteria.

So, just in case you were wondering where the hell I've been... if this makes ANY sense at all... that's where I've been! If you don't hear from me soon, it may be safe to assume that I have taken up residence in a nice warm place with bright white padded walls with a straight jacket.