Monday, November 24, 2008

How Tena Stole Thanksgiving

If Thanksgiving had a Grinch- that would be me! Do I have to be reminded of this Holiday at every turn? I am grateful for what I have, seriously, I am. I will eat my turkey and overload on carbs and unbutton my jeans and feel nauseous and tired from the tryptophan like any good American.

However 'holidays'- the actual day- are just not fun for me. My husband is big on 'equal time' during holidays. We spend 3 hours at his mom's , we spend 3 hours at my moms. My in laws are, well, in laws- that's another story for a private blog- with no pictures and no names and no possible traceable proof of the author. Let's just leave it at both me and my kids would definitely choose to spend time with my family during the holidays over my husband's.

I like to see my family on holidays, sure. I am from a 'broken' family, though ( I love that- actually, we were more 'broken' when my parents were married- divorce 'fixed' my family unit)... anyway, I grew up 'splitting' holidays- what a pain in the ass- mom in the morning and dad at night! You're watching the clock the whole day, trying to stay on time so you can go to the next place and being pulled like a rope in a tug of war. There is never a time for resting and relaxing and just enjoying the holiday for WHAT IS MEANT TO BE!!!

I have tried to convince my husband to alternate years. I would sacrifice seeing my family on Thanksgiving one year, if I could ENJOY it with them the NEXT year. He wouldn't go for that. He HAS to be with his family- every year!!! Drives me nuts!!! I insist there has been some brainwashing involved, but I have no proof as of yet.

I've also tried to convince him to start our own Thanksgiving at our house- I like to cook , I love to entertain... he liked the idea of creating our own family tradition and leaving the door open for whoever wanted to join us UNTIL, he thought about it and remembered none of his family will step foot in our house (more info for the anonymous blog)!

The same exact thing happens on Christmas. So, while I am a huge fan of the Christmas SEASON, I am not a huge fan of what Christmas DAY has become for us. It's overwhelming, tiring, running from one place to the other. Since I have a whole month to enjoy Christmas, I'm OK with it.

So that is the explanation of my Grinchiness. Curse me if you must.

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29 comments:

Honeybell said...

Oh man. This year I've actually decided that our family is doing Christmas the weekend after the actual holiday (having very little family on my side makes this easier)

Otherwise we're trying to do my siblings, his parents, and his ex-wife's parents (weird, I know), all in one day. And we don't even like his parents!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oh we have to split it, too. I hate it. :-/ It does ruin the day in some ways to have to worry about getting to the next place!

georgie said...

I.Feel.Your.pain.With.The.Inlaws!!!

UUUGGGHHHH thats all I can say

but Tena I do hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving and I got a sss post up today if ya minute please stop by

Mr Lady said...

I had the same problem. My inlaws kind of hated me. I finally put my foot down and said that everyone could F off, and that we were having our OWN family thanksgiving and Christmas one year. His family caved, came over, realized I could cook like freaking Emeril, and now they love me, and I have hosted Thanksgiving every year since. win win.

KimandCo said...

Well, that just blows! We do alternate the holidays and the years we do Christmas with my in-laws, we celebrate Christmas with my family the weekend before. We try to save Christmas Eve for just my hubby, myself and our kiddos. Same with Easter.

Maybe you can offer your hubby to be the sacrificial lamb and go to his family without you and the kids? Sounds cold and bitchy, but hey, I have that down pretty good.

jaime said...

i understand this! I am not a big fan of Thanksgiving...it's a nice holiday and all, but it's just not a fav of mine. In fact, the past maybe 5 years...we go out to eat. I have no inlaws...and I know my family is not happy that we don't go where they are, but we just like to chill out and watch some football all day. I get stressed out enough over the Christmas season and I need this holiday to just relax. but that's just us.

Minxy Mimi said...

What a bummer. I like your idea of every other year, it is an excellent compromise for all. I hope you can convince him of that. If you ever get that other blog going... send me the link!!! hahaha

Deb said...

that's why we live 2000 miles from both sets of parents. the end.

Tiffany said...

Fuck you Tena! Oh wait you didn't mean that kind of cursing did you?

I feel for ya. Luckily we only have 2 places to go for the holidays. My in-laws live next door. Wait did I say lucky? I meant fucking cursed.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

After a Christmas three years ago that involved all of us in a Clampett-style suburban (plus two dogs!) heading on a 9 hour trip to my parents. And then came home with even MORE than we left with....

We put our foot down and said that we are happy to visit after the holiday, but if anyone wants to actually SEE us on Christmas Eve or Day, they will have to come to us. It has been wonderful ever since!

Good luck!

Soxy Deb said...

I don't think there is enough alcohol in the state of SC for me to spend 3 hours at my in-laws house. I am doing it at my house this year and as soon as their forks hit their empty plates, I'll be handing them their coats and cheesecake at the door.
I love the holidays and those sons of bitches will NOT spoil it for me. *ahem

Heinous said...

We used to have family that lived in three separate places across town when I was a wee thing. Holidays were exhausting with the 3 hour here and there routine. I was a pushover for alternating once I got married. Easier is better.

Sabrae said...

I hate holidays period! I refuse to leave the house and since i have no family to visit no one misses me! But this year oh no... heaven forbid i stay indoors and keep to myself... the wife is MAKING me go to her family's thanksgiving dinner tomorrow!!! Can I kill myself now??? I hate family gatherings! I swear I am the biggest holiday grinch there ever was! I don't do gatherings, I don't do christmas trees... nothing! But now that I'm married to her I have to do it all and pretend to like it! OMG! It's not that I dislike her family. I so far get along with them all...but with us being gay and them wanting her to be a prissy girl that marries a boy...well you can gather that it isn't exactly comfortable for me all the time! :)

Annie said...

We do it at our house so we don't have to do the travel and share. I get that. It stinks!

Denise said...

Oh no...having to split time like that would put a damper on anyones holiday. Sorry the idea of having holidays at your own home didnt work out. My family lives 3000 miles away, so we dont have any conflict. We spend every holiday at my mother-in-laws.

Mariah said...

I'm for every other year... I hate thanksgiving

Deb said...

We finally agreed to alternate. It was just too much. I feel your pain, and for the record I'm not a big fan of the inlaws.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Sounds like we all have in*law stories to share LOL

I came from a broken family too and was always shuffled around as a kid...it sucked ass. We shuffle a bit around the holidays but spend the majority at home relaxing.

jill jill bo bill said...

I know exactly what you are saying. I do it at my house. I am meaner than you are, I guess...

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Know what? I think I'm gonna do an open invite to AnonyBlog! Anybody who wants to crank/vent/bitch-n-moan can guest post allll through the holidays!
Come on over and rant your butt off!

Mrs4444 said...

Unfortunately, I'm sure millions of people share your angst for the holidays. I wish you could do your own Thanksgiving at home!

Mrs4444 said...

Unfortunately, I'm sure millions of people share your angst for the holidays. I wish you could do your own Thanksgiving at home!

Aubrey said...

Splitting time sucks ass. Thankfully, after many brainwashed years, my husband and I started hosting our own Thanksgiving. The past 3 years my family has all made it. This will be the 4th. His parents, the ILs, made it twice. His one and only TWIN brother and sister-bitch-in-law, zero.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Legal Diva said...

We usually pick different days, either the weekend before or after the actual day...

and my mother-in-law is actually very accommodating. :)

The Daily Blonde said...

Argh...I used to dread visiting my in-laws when I was married. They were pleasant but oh so freaking boring. Quiet dinner table...lots of chewing and no talking which would annoy the crap out of me. The house was a 8,000 ft museum and lacked even a touch of home. Yawn.
My parents were awesome. We just had FUN, ate and enjoyed the day.

Today was my first holiday with Mr. Handsome's family. His parents are awesome and we had a great time. That is such a relief.

My kids split time at Christmas and we trade off Thanksgivings. They hate it and want to stay home where the fun is. Hey, who can blame them. That's why my ex is my ex. He's about as exciting as a can of dry tuna.

Happy Turkey Day despite the circumstances...it's almost over!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I sooo would be splitting the days...that is NOT fair...who really has a good time?? him? them? anyone??

Good luck...looking forward to that private no picture all let loose blog...

Carri said...

Oh how I dont envy you. Every year my husband forces us all to go to his parents house where I sit and get judged throughout the whole evening only to do it again Christmas eve and not have to do it again till next Thanksgiving. This year though I did not have to deal with that and boy was I grateful until I saw the effect it had on the kids. Man did I feel bad but that was the dreaded in-laws decision not mine. But anyway I love to know that someone else goes through so of what I go through. Needless to say no in-laws this Thanksgiving but also no hubby he opted to work instead of go to my Mom's which was OK because he has a different holiday off instead and we always see my Mom so no huge deal. I am sorry you and hubby cant come to an agreement but hopefully your Thankgiving will work for you soon.

Momo Fali said...

Ugh. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Somehow, my husband and I have managed to split our holiday's up three ways. Since he is one of eleven children, his family usually gets together the weekend after the holiday...otherwise it would be close to impossible to get everyone together. It workds out great for us! I wish you could work something out so it would be more enjoyable for you.

Mrs4444 said...

P.S. You're in my post for tomorrow...