The post Blogher post.
The anticipation and expectations are far too high for my post traumatic stress capabilities at this point.
I am still beyond exhausted, my ass aches from 12 hours on an upright train seat, and I have a tapestry burn on my leg from dragging my asinine suitcase with broken wheels 2 city blocks to the bus stop.
I have read great wrap up posts- better than the words that I can currently put together in my fragile state. I met amazing people and can honestly say that I wasn't disappointed in any one person that I met.
Canadians excrete coolness effortlessly- just an observation.
You won't get any trash talking here, not at least until I go through all my pictures so I have evidence.
I learned that I have not made much social advancement since high school. I am still the one that blends into a crowd. I am still the people watcher. I observe and soak it in. I smile and nod. As much as I'd love to be the party animal and life of the party, it is not to be.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel self conscious, though. Call it confidence, call it old age, call it xanax and vodka- whatever. I was excited to be out of the house- to be around all of those amazingly creative people that manipulate the language as an alternate form of expression to the awkwardness that is human interaction.
I know not of the 'drama' that I've heard going around, except my personal brand of baggage that I brought crying and cursing through the streets of Chicago on my cell phone (another story that will need to be carefully crafted for another time.)
What I do know is that flow of tears and humiliation were comforted by hugs, nudges, and a $21 buffet breakfast with people that I had never met.
First impression- FAIL.
They showered me with the warmth of a loving friend of many years and made me feel like a little less of an ass. In my snot infested nervous breakdown moment surrounded by virtual friends, but actual strangers, I felt, for the first time in a long time, like I fit in. I had a place. It was a distant place off in the corner, but still, a place.
This was the reason I went. This was the support and community I found in the cyber world and wondered if it would translate into real life.
I am happy to say that it did.