My plan for "my therapy"

OK, so I'm totally venturing out of my comfort zone here and going to start blogging. It's not that I think I have something necessarily important or profound to share. It's not that I truly believe I'm going to entertain people. I am doing it for myself. Much of my writings will be quite personal, not deep, just my life! Fair warning: It ain't gonna be pretty! I am married and it's not the perfect marriage, it's probably pretty close to the normal marriage, though. We have 4 kids and I adore them, but they drive me crazy about 75% of the time-that's probably not the appropriate thing to admit, but it's true!

The title says it all: my therapy. I used to write in a journal when I was a young girl. I discovered that old journal in a box in the basement a short time ago and read through it. First, I must say, I was a complete geek, and I'm not sure that that has changed, but hopefully my grammar and spelling has improved, if nothing else. Nonetheless, I wrote about anything noteable that happened in my life at the time. This included a friend not sitting next to me at sixth grade lunch or a certain boy that I had a crush on not giving me enough attention (oh the drama!). There were times, however, that I poured emotion out on the page- pages that were truly water- stained from my tears; my first real heartbreak and when my grandmas died. All of the feelings really came rushing back while reading these. I specifically remember how much it helped getting all of it out on paper- just feeling a little of that weight lift off. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 10 years now. A lot of that said weight is wearing heavy on me right about now. Frankly, writing is easier and less expensive than getting a babysitter and going to see a therapist!

Along with the journal, I found old papers that I had written for my different English, Journalism and Communications courses that I had taken in college. The professors comments were kind and complimentary and I was often encouraged to continue my writing. However, those papers took a lot out of me at the time ( I was a selfish college student with totally screwed up priorities, after all!) I wrote them from the heart and really poured everything into them. I felt vindicated when the good grades came back, but never persued writing beyond that. Now, at 35, I wish I had. It felt good to read through the old things I wrote and to see first hand how I've changed and matured and I realized, in hindsight, how much I enjoyed writing.

My plan for this blog is to, just like in the old journal, write about anything noteable that happens in my life- just to get it off my chest. I also am looking to do something for myself- write. Ten years as a mom can take a toll. I haven't done too much for myself in a long time- and I'm missing me and the semi- sanity I used to have. I don't expect too many people, if any, to read this, but I'm hoping to not get much too much negativity in response. I am not politically correct. I am brutally honest. I tend to have a potty mouth (I will censor). I am very dramatic and emotional and I can be a bitch. If you think you can handle it, warts and all, I'd love to have you along for the ride!