Thursday, April 10, 2008

My plan for "my therapy"

OK, so I'm totally venturing out of my comfort zone here and going to start blogging. It's not that I think I have something necessarily important or profound to share. It's not that I truly believe I'm going to entertain people. I am doing it for myself. Much of my writings will be quite personal, not deep, just my life! Fair warning: It ain't gonna be pretty! I am married and it's not the perfect marriage, it's probably pretty close to the normal marriage, though. We have 4 kids and I adore them, but they drive me crazy about 75% of the time-that's probably not the appropriate thing to admit, but it's true!

The title says it all: my therapy. I used to write in a journal when I was a young girl. I discovered that old journal in a box in the basement a short time ago and read through it. First, I must say, I was a complete geek, and I'm not sure that that has changed, but hopefully my grammar and spelling has improved, if nothing else. Nonetheless, I wrote about anything noteable that happened in my life at the time. This included a friend not sitting next to me at sixth grade lunch or a certain boy that I had a crush on not giving me enough attention (oh the drama!). There were times, however, that I poured emotion out on the page- pages that were truly water- stained from my tears; my first real heartbreak and when my grandmas died. All of the feelings really came rushing back while reading these. I specifically remember how much it helped getting all of it out on paper- just feeling a little of that weight lift off. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 10 years now. A lot of that said weight is wearing heavy on me right about now. Frankly, writing is easier and less expensive than getting a babysitter and going to see a therapist!

Along with the journal, I found old papers that I had written for my different English, Journalism and Communications courses that I had taken in college. The professors comments were kind and complimentary and I was often encouraged to continue my writing. However, those papers took a lot out of me at the time ( I was a selfish college student with totally screwed up priorities, after all!) I wrote them from the heart and really poured everything into them. I felt vindicated when the good grades came back, but never persued writing beyond that. Now, at 35, I wish I had. It felt good to read through the old things I wrote and to see first hand how I've changed and matured and I realized, in hindsight, how much I enjoyed writing.

My plan for this blog is to, just like in the old journal, write about anything noteable that happens in my life- just to get it off my chest. I also am looking to do something for myself- write. Ten years as a mom can take a toll. I haven't done too much for myself in a long time- and I'm missing me and the semi- sanity I used to have. I don't expect too many people, if any, to read this, but I'm hoping to not get much too much negativity in response. I am not politically correct. I am brutally honest. I tend to have a potty mouth (I will censor). I am very dramatic and emotional and I can be a bitch. If you think you can handle it, warts and all, I'd love to have you along for the ride!

7 comments:

Tenakim said...

Welcome to the blogosphere!

MyTherapyJournal.com said...

Hey, I liked reading your blog. My brother and I created this website but could be helpful. You can see it at www.mytherapyjournal.com.

Wishing you happiness.

Rodolfo

Faerie Mom said...

I think you just summed up my entire purpose in blogging as well! Can't wait to catch up on your archives....

Dan said...

A Deb first post linky dropper inner here.

Nice first post - own the therapy!

Debbie said...

I love that "ten years as a mom can take its toll"!

Lee of MWOB said...

I love old journals. I have mine too but sometimes I get afraid to open them up. I haven't done it in a while. I'm too busy reading everyone else out here in blogland.

Loved reading this Tena and I'm psyched to have "met" you along the way...

Lee

Deb said...

oh now this cracks me up. you are too adorable... honest and authentic and funny.

i love the disclaimer at the end about thinking not many people will read and that you are not politically correct and have a potty mouth. newsflash, there!