What BlogHer Means to Me

I remember this time last year- I was new to blogging and kept seeing this term "BlogHer". Every other post I would read mentioned it and my eyes would glaze over because 1.)I didn't know what it was 2.) I wasn't going and 3.) figured I would never be able to go to such a thing.

Oh have times changed!

That's your cue if you're still in the "eyes glazing over" phase- this is probably going to be an all BlogHer- all the time zone for the next 2 weeks- deal!

I now know that BlogHer is a convention of bloggers (mostly women, but not discriminating, but that's where the "Her" comes in). It is in a different place each year- this year- Chicago. You can learn about the business aspect of a blog, advertising, formatting- all the shit I'm clueless about. That's why I probably won't be found in those sessions.

However, it's going to be a hotel full of bloggers.

I have blogged for a little over a year. When I started, my complacency with being a stay at home mom had begun to fade. My husband's anxiety and fear of the unknown had become my sickness as well. I needed an outlet- for what? At that point, I didn't quite know.

I knew I was sad and lonely. I knew I needed something to call my own. I knew I had a lot to say. I knew my creative juices were simmering within me and being held back for fear of political incorrectness. I knew my kids and my husband deserved someone that was happier and well-adjusted.

I have poured my heart and frustration onto the keyboard at times. I have put things out here, I wished I might not have. I have gone through a couple near nervous breakdowns and many bouts of depression. I've shared embarrassing stories and admissions. Through it all, though, I found that outlet I had been looking for. I no longer feel like I'm going to bust. I finally have something that is under my control.

Along the way, I have found a community of people that understand, empathize or just listen. I've found so many times that I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.

The only weird thing about this, to many, and I suppose to me also, is that these people that have given me such hope, talked me through difficult times and been there as a support system- I have never met.

That's where BlogHer comes in. I finally get to meet some of these people "In Real Life" (that's the tag line of the conference).

I've never said the statement "I blog" in my real life. There's a stigma that goes along with that and it's just another headache that I don't need- and let's be honest- my blog is not exactly the "mommy blog" that we want circulating around my kids' strict Catholic school!

That's not to say that I don't want to say it. I do. Believe it or not, I've been proud of some of the stuff I've put out here. I'm damn proud of what my blog has done for me. It has gotten me to search for me again. It has given me the confidence to be me again and not just say the things I think I'm supposed to say.

Next weekend, among meeting some of the people that I credit with saving my sanity and embracing me as me, I am going to be surrounded by people that get it.

Next weekend I will proudly say "I blog."