Thursday, March 12, 2009

Friday Fragments

Join in with Mrs. 4444's Fragment Fridays...
***I am late with my Friday Fragments because I forgot that I was babysitting my 1 yr old niece today (the one with the Sharpie addiction, but my sister said she gave up pungent permanent markers for Lent, so I was safe besides a few withdrawal willies she might have.)

I sat down at my computer with my coffee for my morning ritual and the doorbell rang. Crap. I spent the next 3 hrs trying to keep her out of my oven and clothed. Now that she can't get baked off of the fumes of Sharpies...? I guess she's quite literal- smart kid- that one!

Don't worry, the oven is not usually a play option at my house (unless a kid's bad, of course), but I am baking chocolate cheesecake cupcakes for my daughter's birthday celebration (and inevitable diet failure again this week) tonight. Every time I turned around my neice was missing another piece of clothing and trying to climb into the oven!

In related news- I'm accepting children for my new daycare- JUST KIDDING- I'd rather jump in the oven!

***Actually, I am becoming my mother. My mom is not a 'sitter' type. She's a great grandma and adores my kids, but prefers my presence and for me to take them with me when I leave- she's a firm believer in "no child left behind". I have always envied the people that have parents that would PAY YOU to watch their grand kids. I can already see that I will not be one of those grandparents. Them: Mom, can you watch the kids tonight? Me: Umm, you sure you can't find ANYONE else?

*** Daylight savings time is kicking my kids' butts. We need to leave the house by 7:30 to get to school on time. They've been waking up at 7:12 exactly. It's not working for us- I know ya'll dig the extra daylight, but I'm asking for a refund, thanks anyway.

*** Birthday season is officially over, ahhhh. My daughter turned 10 yesterday- I will post her Happy Birthday post this weekend. No more birthdays till NOVEMBER- yeah!

*** I am helping my husband brush up on his math skills for aptitude tests that he's taking-trying to get a new job. And can I just say, I am freaking brilliant. I actually did always like math- it was a fun challenge- I always saw it like a puzzle- (although I hate puzzles!) Anyway- I get them right EVERY TIME! I can't believe I still remember all of these facts! He's not letting on, but I think he thinks my genius is rockin' the sexy. He's hot for teacher!

***Through raising four kids- I'm quite confident that the phrase that I have uttered more than any other is - "what is THE ONLY thing we draw on?" Usually after I find marker or crayon on the carpet, the walls, the furniture, clothing, their skin... I received this e-mail the other day- so glad to see I am not alone... and that our dog has so much fur- they COULDN'T find his skin if they wanted to draw on it...

***Ok- I gotta go there and I'm not saying this to stir up any pots or because I have balls of steel (because that would be cold and uncomfortable and you would need one of these to match...)
but... the mama drama that is the Boobgate controversy this week in the blogosphere- did anyone catch this? Wow! Nuts! I was, and kind of still am, speechless about all the brouhaha. I wouldn't share a boob or a baby, that's just me. I remember being totally freaked out by The Hand that Rocks the Cradle when Rebecca DeMornay nursed the baby that she nannied. If that makes me an unrefined, prude, closed-minded, Western thinker, so be it. If I witnessed it, I gotta say, I probably would have blogged about it, and man, I would have been fucked. These ladies got real worked up about this. I'm looking over my shoulder as I write this.

Engorgement is the one of the worse feelings ever- I know, but I don't like attention drawn to me, so I could have an alien arm coming out of my asshole and I would ignore the pain because I just like to blend in to the crowd- nothing to see hear, folks- just a 7 fingered skinny limb hanging out of my anus. I'll just take the pain, thank you, may I have another?

What makes me sad is that there was so much hatred and defensiveness and bullying. Everyone has their opinions. If someone attacked me and a decision I made, I'd definitely be hurt, but I think I'd take it up with that person on an individual basis and work it out.

This whole scenario freaked me out and, sorry dudes, it had nothing to with boobs. I was freaked out because I could have seen me writing the same kind of thing and then getting attacked for it- it scared me. For a second, and just a second, I thought I should be more careful and start censoring myself until I get those balls of steel and matching dildo.

*** Cancer sucks donkey balls- that's a give in. Here's the embarassing (yet, grateful) part... I kind of haven't known anyone with it. My family's demise is a bird of a different feather- heart disease. I know cancer is horrid and I am overwhelmed by the strength of people that have lived with it and watched it attack their loved ones. Their stories touch me and I wonder if I could handle it.

True story that makes me look kind of bad... an old boyfriend 'friended' me on Facebook. I went to look at his pictures and saw his wife and vainly and vicsously my mind went to- eh- she's not that cute. Come to discover, she is a breast cancer survivor-something of a local celebrity for her work with rasing money for cancer research, she was diagnosed when she was 17. I am a fucking heel. Her story is pretty amazing and I'm still ashamed of myself for thinking the way I did.

As my penance, along with the hours of charity, 3 Hail Mary's, and 4 Our Father's I will be doing, I am asking you to go to Jay's and make a donation.

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Deb said...

dang, you are making me come out of the closet on the whole boobgate thing. you nailed it... it wasn't the issue AT ALL that got to me... it was the bullying. and the condescension. and superiority. oh, and the hypocrisy. ugh, if they come after me, it's SO your fault.

Kristina P. said...

Is that a picture of your kids and dog? Really?
And I haven't heard anything about boobgate, so I will definitely read up on it.

Halftime Lessons said...

You rock so hard it's SICK.

Thanks so much for your support, Nurse Tena.



Kim said...

Man, I totally missed Boobgate. Damn.

Dorsey said...

My mother avoided being called on to babysit by living about 6 hrs away! And even now she asks that they come see her to spend any length of time ONE AT A TIME!! She just can't handle their arguing, imagine that..siblings..arguing! What are the odds?!?!

Yeah, Boobgate was INSANE!!!

Although I might have a glass..umm..well...yeah, I'd don't think I've crossed the level of steel yet. And I'm pretty much a certified freak! hehe Even Tiffany called me a "pro"..HA!

Sharpie, dogs, and bored kids are NOT a good combo, but they ARE hilarious!!!

Melissa ♥ Spoiled Mommy said...

Ok-Im going to have to go read about the boobgate thing...but that scene in the Hand that Rocks the Cradle creeped me out too!
That dog and kid made me laugh so bad....its just like something that would have gone on over this way!!

Anonymous said...

You want us to go to Jay's and make a donation so you can call that "your" penance. Um, ok. ;)

Mrs4444 said...

Okay, that boob thing is way too weird. How does anyone even know that the woman even HAD a baby at home?! CREEPY. Get in the bathroom and pump your own damned boobs, Woman! And who brings a baby to a "symposium," anyway? Do you think that story was really true?

Great job on the math skills, there, Tena!

I LOVED that drawing on the dog thing--way too cute!

Jenni said...

I did see the big todo about boobgate! Crazy, huh?

Amy said...

OMG boobgate, I know. I was really in shock. And I was all like, What why not post it? Like WHY? I'd be all over it the minute I logged on. Anyways. WOW all those Bdays. Yeah, I'm so that Gma as well. I don't even like sleepovers here with extra kids LOL.

Jen said...

I love your Friday Fragment posts. They are all over the place (that's the point) and so chocked full of bloggy goodness. I did see Boobgate unfold but I stayed the heck out of it. To me it seemed like it involved the Mafia of Mommy Bloggers and I want to stay on their good side. (I think the whole nursing another mom's baby is a little weird--ssshhh, hopefully my secret is safe here.)

CaraBee said...

Okay, I just spent like an hour reading through all of the boobgate broohaha. What a mess. I can't believe, after reading TDB's original post that it turned into such a big deal. Yikes. Remind me not to criticize HBM.

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

Ok so I am stopping over from Ann's GNO for a drink and still laughing hysterical! You are a laugh riot.. I follow TDB and followed the whole Boobgate scandel... crazy! I agree with you! Will be blog stalking you and am formally following now... you crack me up.Thanks for a great post!

Stacy Uncorked said...

I'm stopping by from Ann's VGNO and I really need to remember to stop by here more often! :) Loved your Friday Fragments...all of them! :)

Happy VGNO! :)

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Oh, boobgate. My question is this...since when are you not allowed to have opinions about the things you see going on around you. Crazy.

That picture of the kid coloring on the dog cracks me up. I feel like I am talking to myself because no on around my house seems to be listening to me when I say that we only color on paper.

Aracely said...

That doggy is so cooperative!

I didn't catch boobiegate, and won't bother to click now but remember hearing the term "wet nurse" once. I always wondered what it meant but was totally scared to Google it. Yeah, that's what it meant, and at the end of that Wiki page there was this old painting of a woman nursing her ailing FATHER!!!!! Uhm, so yeah I'll stay away from bobbiegate ;-)

Have a great weekend!

Frantic Holly said...

OH Chocolate cheesecake cupcakes sound delicious. The markers I can totally sympathize with.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm a day late on the VGNO, but just got through reading your post. Love it. Saw the whole boobgate debocal (did I spell that right) and the person who posted it has a right to speak her mind. I'm in line with her and you and would have probably blogged about it to.

I like your style. Gonnna look around for a bit.

Unknown said...

I guess I'm glad I missed that whole boobgate thing--sounds nasty & mean! I'm glad to be back--I missed you! :)


Anonymous said...

Well I'll have to go see about boobie gate I reckon.
lol@ dog and lmao @ at various items hanging from anus.

Leanna said...

Ummm, remind me to take the oven out of the house if you ever come to watch my boys! ;)

I want a dog like that!! Is he (oh wait I see tits, sorry SHE) like those stuff monsters you can color on, throw in the washer, and start all over? Cool!

Well, I missed out on the whole Boobgate thing.... I swear! I am always the last to know what's goin on!! LOL

t said...

Ah Miss Tena...I love the pic of the dog best. OMG I am still laughing thinking of my own kids who would definitely have colored the dog if we had one.

Thanks for mentioning your opinions about Boobgate. It's ok to have your own OPINION, right? I mean, should I write about butterflies and cupcakes? Is that OK? Frankly, my blog will be shut down if I can't spew things out of my mouth with reckless abandon. lol. And yes, it did happen (to one of your commenters here) and there were some babies at the symposium because it was a parenting seminar. Guess they thought they were getting free stuff. lol Instead, it was just free boob milk.

I can't wait til summer...maybe the ice cream man will be replaced by the roaming boob and pass out free breast milk for all the good boys and girls.