Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Freshman

Sweet innocent school boy.

Awake at the crack of dawn with excitement and anticipation.

I can still see his red uniform shirt tucked tightly into his starchy creased navy shorts with the backpack snuggly on his proud tall shoulders.

His toothless grin said it all.

I tied his fresh-out-of-the-box bright white tennis shoes in double knots. I walked him to the kindergarten door and kissed him goodbye.

My misty eyes said it all.

High school teenager.

Rolled out of bed late. Nervous with uncertainty and insecurities.

Crumpled baseball jersey and camouflage shorts to make certain he doesn't appear to have tried too hard.

"I can wait for the bus by myself, mom," he said with an eye roll.

"Good luck", I said, as I wistfully walked back to the house.

I peeked from the inside corner of the window as he waited for his first bus. I watched as he apprehensively walked down the aisle of the bus with all of the new faces sizing him up.

He caught me spying. He turned his head abruptly the other way to avoid making eye contact with me.

I miss tying his shoes, spit wiping the cereal from the the corner of his mouth, and combing his hair down with my fingers.

But mostly, I miss kissing him goodbye.

It's been an emotional day- go read some of my lighter side at my other home, Aiming Low, today.

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15 comments:

Tiffany said...

On Friday, I will be the one tying new shoes and walking him to his kindergarten class. And possibly running down the hall crying and mumbling something about "my baby".

Under the Influence said...

It happens in the blink of an eye, doesn't it?

★ MamaKat ★ said...

Seriously, I have tears in my eyes trying not to fall. Rude! Tomorrow I get to take my oldest to his first day of first grade. I'm still in "he is only a kindergartner" mode and life is forcing me to take him to first grade. I get incredible knots in my stomach when we "celebrate" these moments now, because I know one day too soon I'll be crying to have them back. Big imaginary hugs for you my friend. I expect your next post to be full of the sarcasm and wit that I come here for. :)

Kori said...

Oh, Tena, it bites, doesn't it?

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

oh sure...tell THAT story when I'm already on the verge of tears...

alanna rose said...

Now I'm crying, too.
My mother assures me that even though boys go through a no-kissing-mom faze, they will outgrow it and surprise you one day with a big hug and kiss - so hold tight to that thought!

Tena said...

awww Tena
{{{ gentle hugs }}}
I am not sure how you did it with your older son, I am dreading Sept 9th when I have to take my oldest to 3rd grade.... time flies, and it sucks!

Jen said...

It is hard to imagine ever missing spit wiping anything, but I'll take your word for it.

Sweet post! Brought a little tear to my eye. My son is going into 4th grade this year and that just seems ridiculous to me. I want to freeze time. I just love him at this age, but I'm also so curious what he will be like as a teenager (hopefully not a hellion).

Carol J. said...

Oh Tena, I remember feeling the same way that you do now. My youngest will be a high school senior in a few weeks. Her older siblings are 20, 21, and 31. (Yeah, I know, what was I thinking?!)

Anyway, there are many transitions headed your way and once you get through crying over them, you'll embrace the newness. Trust me, I cried over every single transition because I prefer ruts...they're much easier to deal with.

Just know that newness is headed your way and it will be good, too. Different, yes, but good. And ps...he still needs you and he will kiss you again, just in private!

Managed Chaos said...

My 11 yr. old son doesn't even like me trying to hug him unless we're totally alone...I can only imagine what it will be like when he's in high school.

Hope tomorrow is a little easier for you.

Allison said...

AWWWW.

High school is so exciting, but it totally goes fast and I am sure it's hard to have kids in high school...that phase where they don't need you anymore. But, deep down they do. You will see.

Hang in there!

Christine said...

Very well written!! TIme sure does fly.....

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Dang kids :( Don't know why they think they have to grow up.

Terri said...

It breaks your heart doesn't it? At the same you you are so proud and happy that your baby is growing up so well but you wish with all your being they could still literally be a baby.

Mrs4444 said...

Another fantastic post! Stress agrees with you, my friend :)