Monday, June 29, 2009

A Fortified Breakfast

With four kids home from school for the summer, there are bound to be arguments, disputes, and even knock-out- drag-down fights. Yes, we have that. We have that often. However, there is one argument that I can count on- DAILY. First thing in the morning- every single, God-blessed peaceful morning.

The cereal fight.

At any given time, I have 10-20 boxes of nutritionally defunct, sugar-laden boxes of cereal in my cabinet. I buy, stock-up, on cereals that are on sale. I don't care the brand, what my kids' favorite kind is, if there is a hologram on the box or if Miley Freaking Cyrus, herself, spit in the box- if it's on sale I will buy it. I will buy lots.

I have one rule about cereal- that I have passed down through the ages- or to my 14 year old son anyway... my son, the "Cereal Keeper"- the only one that can reach the cabinet with cereal and has been self-appointed "cereal Nazi". One box of cereal open at a time. It's not a la carte. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And why would they, really? They're all sweet puffy balls of cavity causing goodness- some chocolate, some chemically sweetened to resemble fruit, some even have every child's' favorite- marshmallows- what's not to love?

Every morning in my house, there is, at least, one kid screaming, whining or arguing about the chosen cereal of the day. Every. Freaking. Day. Like time work. Actually, it's more of an alarm clock for me. I don't ever have to worry about sleeping past 8AM due to " operation breakfast breakdown". And what a delightful way to be woken.

It's one question in this game of parenting that I have yet to figure out- right along with why kids are most likely to throw up in the middle of the night.

Now, I used to get it. I used to try and sneak in a box of Corn Flakes or Kix or Shredded Wheat (minus the frosted coating). Then they got old enough and organized a coup, tied me down like Gulliver until I cried high fructose corn syrup.

Who doesn't like Frosted Flakes? Child #2. Who throws themselves in protest of Captain Crunch? Child #4. Who locks herself in her room because Honey Nut Cheerios were poured in her bowl? Child #3.

This morning I had it. I needed a coffee minus the headache. So we made a trip to the promised land...
Can't you just hear the fat cells expanding as the choir of angels sing?? That's "Donuts and Ice Cream"- I want to make chubby babies with "Paul"- marry me!

A one day reprieve from the cereal fight- God Bless You, Paul.

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16 comments:

Under the Influence said...

Give up the fight - allow each child to pick one box of cereal to have open. Then they can mix and match until it's time to open another box(es). Less stress and more sleeping for you!

Kori said...

I tried that, too, but now there are susally three or four open boxes PLUS the kind we adults like to eat, PLUS the instant oatmeal...and I just don't buy anymore until they are all gone. That's my rule these days...though I wish I could have a Paul in MY life; what a GREAT combination!

Tiffany said...

One box at a time? NEVER!! Hell I'm the main cereal eater at my house and I KNOW I have 4 different kinds open right now. I like me some variety.

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

Cereal is not allowed in my house! We had too many boxes that go uneaten.. we finally threw them all out and now its bagels or toast!

mzbehavin said...

Things I wish I'd said....

"If Miley Freaking Cyrus Herself, Spit In The Box"....

Laughing SOOOOO hard.....

and can't find my incontinence pads.......

Ronda's Rants said...

Here's my rule...
I buy what's on sale...especially the BOGO ...
I don't care how many boxes they open at a time but I don't buy new until it's all gone...work it out!
Kids are all gone now and I still do the same deal with the Hubby!

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Paul's is the place of my dreams. Seriously I have been saying there should be an ice cream/donut shop for ages.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

So do they argue over ice cream donuts???

I say let them choose to have one box apiece open. Less gray hairs and stress that way.

Diane J. said...

First, I get the cereal on sale bit. I'm so there. Add a coupon and I'm on cloud 9. I just stocked my freezer with hotdogs, great sale plus coupons = less than $.50 a pack. The natives should be satisfied for the next month.

Second, I'm impressed the 14-year-old is up so early. My 14-year-old can only be enticed to get up early with money or the threat of losing his iPod.

Stumbled across your blog while meandering the web trying to ignore the battles of the boys upstairs. Thanks for the laugh.

McMommy said...

You are one of the best damn bloggers EVER!!! You posts kill it every time!!

Loved this post. Love YOU!!

MOMMY-MOMO said...

just found your blog through McMommy (i love her). glad i did!!! fricken hilarious!!! cracking up over here.

Mrs4444 said...

I say let them have cake. Really, though, ONE box?! I like UTI's idea best. (haha UTI!!)

Annie said...

Give in and open two. The peace will be worth the extra $3.99!

Wheaties and Life are shockingly my kids favorites. What did I do wrong?

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Sadly in this household, the one who bitches, whines and complains about cereal is my fricking husband.
Although the Kid follows suit by just plan throwing a fit about most foods in general. And I always thought it would get easier as they got older because then they would be able to tell me what they wanted. It appears I will be in for a rude awakening!

Momo Fali said...

If I were you, I'd drive to the damn doughnut shop every day!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Donuts AND ice cream? Dude...I am having breakfast at YOUR house!