I try not to divulge many things or details about him on my blog because I think it's inappropriate (and I don't want anything held against me in a court of law- yeah, at times, it's that bad. Hello? Anonymous blog???) However, I thought it was acceptable to explain my occasional silence or lack of blogging.
It has been difficult to blog semi-regularly without mentioning the thing foremost on my mind much of the time. Blogging has given me the ability to put things into perspective and try to put a positive or humorous spin on some of life's tests. It has been a great coping tool. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't have a similar outlet (he's just a tool!)
Short of pouring out some ugly words through my tears, let's just say, it's still hard and my absence usually is a sign of just not being able to put a cheerful non- implicating story to an event.
The last few weeks have brought about, yet another test in his life, and thus, mine and our family. His ability to manage stress is less than stellar- he really sucks at it! He makes mountains out of molehills, can't see the forest for the trees, and every other cliche you can think of!
I don't sugar coat things (if you haven't noticed) and my tough love way of just deal with it and get on with things... is lost on him as "cold", "naive", and simply "cruel". Therein lies the problem and much of the conflict.
I don't know that I would have made it through this year without being institutionalized if it weren't for this little haven that I have found on the intawebz. My spewing random thoughts and making friends and getting support (AND PRESENTS!!!) have kept me sane (I know that's debatable- but I haven't seen the white coats- I've been looking and expecting them, but none yet!)
So there you have it. A vague, non- detailed, inconspicuous, non-sensible peek inside the chaos that is inside my head. See why I have to keep a clean house?