Thursday, December 4, 2008

Friday Fragments with visual aids


Friday Fragments is a name given to my everyday randomness (on Fridays) created by a woman that's got her shit together way more than me, Mrs. 44444, join us in sporadic words...


***My 9 year old daughter DESPERATELY wanted the part of Mary in the Christmas program. She has long straight brown hair and I think she didn't mind the type-casting.

She came home today, deflated that "Kate" got the part.


"Kate has very messy hair and always has a red ring around her mouth."


This may sound like an odd description, but it clicked with me right away. I was the kid with the ring around the mouth. Every winter, I would I lick my lips and they (and about an inch perimeter beyond my mouth) would become red and chapped. EVERY WINTER. Until I discovered Carmex. As an adult.



I don't know when Carmex was invented, but when I was a kid, we didn't have it and that ChapStick sucks ass and that's all we could afford, I guess!
I might as well have just rubbed a candle on my lips!


***I was looking all over for a cute pair of boots since apparently the air masses around Missouri have ignored all of the "Global Warming" hype! IT'S COLD AND SNOWY HERE!!! After much searching, I found a cute pair- BONUS- they embarrass my kids. Why, you ask? They are from Justice, a girl's (Tween) clothing store. The mortification and eye rolling when their little friends come up to me and compliment my boots- definitely worth it.

*** Damn you, Better Homes and Gardens! You post these ideas that I think I can handle and you trick me every time! I was raised by Martha Stewart, you see, well the poor version, anyway. My Grandma was a Sunday School Teacher, Girl Scout Leader and LOVED crafts. Her entire basement was warehouse of cataloged ribbon, beads, and rick rack. I have confidence in my crafting ability because that's ALL we used to do, but when a certain magazine boldly lies about where to get the materials and the prices of those materials and the degree of difficulty- well, that just not right!

For about 13 years now, I have searched for the cutest, most efficient way to display Christmas cards. Every year I've tried another crafty disaster after another and have been disappointed. This year, I saw this idea and thought it looked cute. Not that fast... check the supplies and make sure no sewing or skilled trade or $50 supply is needed.

Jute (noted that it was available at Joann's)

Straw Wreath

Sewing pins

small silver binder clips



Not so bad, I evaluated that this is a project that I could handle. I made my way to Joann's Craft store- literally at that minute because I am horribly compulsive. I looked around, but could not find "jute" (notice the jute that they use in the picture has a cute red stitching). I finally broke down and asked for directions (I'm like a man that way, not a fan of needing help), only to be told that all they have is large bolts of burlap! Plain colored burlap. So, I'm already there and my compulsion to get this thing done has turned me to be far too ambitious, so I buy 2 yards, thinking I will cut it into strips and draw the embellishment by hand- WTF was I thinking?

Next, straw wreath- nope, none- had to settle for one made out of twigs. Sewing pins? I'm not even entertaining this, I'm not sewing anything- I'll use hot glue. Small silver binder clips... they don't carry these either! I'm sorry to the guy that told me they didn't carry these because he got the brunt of my frustration when I asked why BH & G says these supplies are available at Joann's- only to look like an ass when he points out that the article states that they are available at Joann.com- oh, sorry.

So, home I go to put on my crafty hat. It was very messy, stringy burlap was everywhere! The twiggy wreath residue covered my floor. My 'embellishment' was a really messy, unstraight line of red Crayola marker down the sides. I still have not located "small silver binder clips"! On the bright side, I only burnt myself with the glue gun once and the whole project only cost about $10!




*** I still have not received my SSS gift, just sayin'.



post signature

27 comments:

Linda S said...

I like your wreath...you did a great job. Martha would be proud.

Soxy Deb said...

I'm with you on the Chap Stick crap. I use the Blistex with the rollie ball. Loves it!
I'm sorry that lil miss lost out on the part to the girl with the bad hair. But every now and again, we bad haired girls get thrown a bone.
Your wreath looks fine. Better than the one I DIDN'T make.
And if I was your SSS, your alcohol would have been delivered already.

Abby said...

I have very similar boots. I had no idea they would embarress kids. Another bonus!

bsouth said...

Love the boots! Well done for embarrassing your children!

Well done on the wreath - very nice.

KimandCo said...

I think you did a damn fine job on that wreath. Way to go, Martha!

luckeelady said...

I have been searching for cute boots and those are like the ones I have pictured in my head, I've only ran across some similar and they were like $150 and my hubby wouldn't let me buy them :(

As for your burlap wreath, it's cute, you must have that crafty gene!

because I said so said...

okay...separated at birth. I 'tried' to make THE SAME WREATH..I have THE SAME BOOTS from Justice (Thank God for little feet...but mine are the brown ones)..........AND......I use Carmex, it was the only thing we did have when I was little, my Mom refused to buy Chapstick, which I have everywhere now too. It didn't used to be available in the tube, only the little pot... and the lid always got icky after a while....memories.....

Deb said...

oooohhhhhh... you mean clown-mouth. my son gets it every dang year... still!

i think the wreath turned out cute. and once you get all your fan mail hung on it, it will look even better.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I'm going to tell you that the MK lip balm will cure that red ring around the lip. I put it on the kids at night before they go to sleep, it has no taste, no "burning", no smell...but by moring they look 75-100% better depending on how bad it's gotten...Let me know if you are interested...Not cheap, but sooooooo worth it.

The boots are cute, I hate you, I want a pair of cute boots too...

And I want to applaude you for following through on your craft project, and being brave enough to post a picture.

What SSS gift are you waiting for??

Chandra said...

My 7 year old will be the one with the red ring around his mouth, he alwyays is (Aquaphore works awesome)...believe me Kansas isn't much better, no snow yet but damn it it's cold!

The Mom said...

Before you said chapped lips I thought you were going to say that little girl drinks a lot of red punch. I could have been that girl!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I think your wreath looks pretty! You should sell them on Etsy for 29.99!

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

the follow-thru on that wreath puts you in serious supermom territory...

Nice work.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

Great job on the wreath... much better than I would do!! I tape all my cards around the door frame from my kitchen to my dining room since we walk through it ALL the time so we can see out cards.

My kids walks around with the red ring, also. She has cherry chapstick (her fave) in her back pack, in her desk and in her coat pocket, yet she can't seem to use it... Oh, well......

jaime said...

Don't be hatin on the chapstick! Some of us are seriously addicted...
I give you mad props for finishing that wreath project, and the outcome was great!

I have no idea what the SSS gift is but DAMN THEM. damn that little girl w/ the bad hair too.

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

1. My Dad still uses that suck ass Chapstick! You are so right about just using wax!
2. The boots are so HOTT! Keep rocking them!
3. i don't really have much to say about making the wreath. I would have just given up and bought one of the best ones in the store! Then lied and said I made it. I'm tempted to cheat like that!

Mrs4444 said...

I had to stop laughing before each fragment this week, Tena. You are hilarious.

The wreath? Very impressive!

The lip stuff? Too addictive; I prefer real beeswax (without the minty flavoring stuff), though it's impossible to find anymore. YOUR red lipped ring from childhood? Hilarious; sorry. Just plain funny. Sorry for your daughter, though. Maybe I can arrange for an "accident" to happen to the harlotstarlet who took her spot?

Haven't received my SS gift yet, either. :( All that "better to give than to receive" crap? Total B.S.

Tiffany said...

Your wreath came out so cute.. I do twine and clothespins along the curtain rod... cute, easy.

My husband is completely and totally addicted to carmex.

Like needs a 12 step program addicted.

Like he would sell me to a pimp if it meant he could get his hands on some.

Deb said...

I, too, am SSS empty handed. But, I know it will come.

Love the wreath. I would have given up at Joann's and gone to Starbucks.

I love those Justice boots. They just don't make them in my gihugic size!

HappyHourSue said...

I wouldn't even ATTEMPT anything crafty- good for you- it looks cool!

Also- loved your Xmas card over at mcMommy's - what a beautiful family!

Manic Mom said...

Your wreath Rocks- go on with your Bad self. My lips were never chapped, I don't think- mine was covered with frosting! Hugs!

Legal Diva said...

I love the boots. Its not really cold enough here to need any like that, but the idea of getting them at a trendy tween shop to embarrass the hell out of my kids is worth getting some. hehehe.

Tiffany said...

Hey Kool-aid mouth, WTF is Jute?

And those boots are adorable.

I haven't gotten my SSS present yet either. Gee I wonder if my partner flaked on me or just got scared off. LOL

Holy shit! Your captcha says blesses. Fucking freaky Tena.

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

2 yds of jute?! Girl, you must have been high on the fake scent of Pine needles at JoAnne's! Seriously, WTF? And a crayon? Lucky for you-it came out kick ass. That had potential U-G-L-Y written all over it! Way to save it.

lili11 said...

Wow .... you do have lots of award. Cool!

Rochelle said...

Hi T. I'm catching up after a few weeks away from the blog world. That whole SITS thing was flippin' hilarious.

Getting drunk and baking cookies...we should be neighbors. Just sayin'.

AND I almost bought very similar boots at a ski store over Thanksgiving weekend. Unfortunately it doesn't snow at my house and I would look like an ass in white fur boots and shorts. Strut your stuff in those hot boots! They would look cute with your nurse costume! Ha.

AND love the wreath. I'll have to post a picture of my decorating creation that I made today. Martha I am not but I like my wreath!

Happy Holidays!

joeyandaleethea said...

Wow. I had completely forgotten about that. Elementary school, winter of '79 in NYC, I was that little girl with the red mustache. I worked it though! Yeah not so much. Thanks for the flashback. Love the boots!!