Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Shallow much?

This week I will be turning 37. That's not old, really, is it? Lie to me. While we're at it, these pants don't make me look fat, do they?

It has been almost 20 years since I graduated high school. Now THAT makes me feel old.

I am planning my reunion and being reminded of old names and faces. Some, I don't remember, at all. I told myself that must have been a mistake- that they couldn't have been in my class- because I would have remembered them! Upon referring to my yearbook and being proven wrong- it's official, I'm getting old and losing my mind.

This morning my fear was reinforced by me removing my eye make-up with toner.

Being faced with a rapid decline in my quality of life and a reunion of people that knew me when I was skinny, had a tight ass, and was academically over-achieving, oh, have times changed! I've decided it's time I get my shit together.

So, I have 11 months to lose the 30(+)lbs that I've put on since high school, decide what I want to be now that I'm grown up and become VERY successful in my chosen path so I can brag about it and be able to afford that much needed tummy tuck, Botox, Restylane, and Juvederm.

My son needs to become the star football player on his team (even though he's not even a starter) and an honor student (that's gonna take a little a LOT of work), my girls need to become accomplished students, musicians, and maybe models or actresses. My husband needs to get in shape so he can be my "trophy husband" who dotes all over me and make those ex-boyfriends kick themselves.

I don't know... am I expecting too much? Don't get all philosophical on me, I'm joking. Mostly.

No one needs to know that I wear elastic waisted pants and my husband's t-shirts, preferably without a bra, while I sit at a computer daily and spew random thoughts and way more information about incontinence, parental mis-steps and mental instability than one person should reveal on a public forum.

That'll be our secret.


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8 comments:

Under the Influence said...

If 37 is old, then what am I? I will be 42 in about two weeks!

My 20th reunion, oddly enough, was a blast. All those things you are (not so seriously) worried about really weren't an issue. It was just a lot of fun and nobody was more surprised than me. Maybe it had something to do with all the Captain's and Coke that I drank that night!

Kori said...

Well, since I am the same age as you, actually just a little older, no, it's not old, and those pants make your ass look hot. Besides, we have all seen pics of you at BlogHer so just let it go, please. you know you are hot.

As for high school reunions, why does it matter after all these years? Really; do you really care what people you probably didn't REALLY like all that much 20 years ago think about you now? I mean, come on. Really? Just sayin.' I bet you are still friends with the ones you wanted to stay friends with and the rest can go hang. You are strong, and beautiful, and you have people in your life who love you; really.

Christine said...

Your so funny! Listen, go on with your bad self and have fun!! I too just had my 20th...it was one of the best nights ever. Let your hair down, get shwasted (shit faced + wasted= SHWASTED!) Reunions are over rated! Think of how much more you know then you did when you were a hottie with a tight ass! Pfff....

For the record: I can't remember diddly squat...I swear I have amnesia. So no worries, your not alone.

Scope said...

Don't stress it. Find the prom queen who now looks 45, and has 4 children by 5 different men (some trick, I'll bet) and stand near her. You will look awesome by comparison.

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Im sure they all look worse...and if that doesnt make you feel better do I what I do.....consider FB your reunion and save yourself money on a dress.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Um...I'm 39, I have friends that have kids graduating hs...wtf??

I dont' remember anybody...and I'm ok with that...I wore fat jeans to my reunion...I didn't care.

Have fun, extra pounds, extra wrinkles and all...

Paige said...

I am 37 too--and also have a goal for my reunion next summer. I guess I think people will not have noticed that I got fat at all if I am not still fat when I get there. What a fool I can be.

We can do this though!

Karen MEG said...

You are a baby, enjoy it! I hit 44 in a couple of weeks, uh, and let's not talk about it.

Anyhoo, a reunion, eh? I attended my highschool reunion this past Feb (the 26th, really, but it included most years from the 80s for a bigger turnout) and I couldn't believe how OLD everyone looked. So I think 20th would have been easier to handle.

You, my dear, will have no issues, you look amazing and you're a riot. Good luck with the organizing!