Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Life sucks so be nice

I'm not going to write about Obama. Not because the letter that my kids' school sent home didn't outrage me, but because I'm trying not to go there. Politics is a slippery slope. I am a liberal. Whose kids go to a strict Catholic school. I've been climbing that hill for a while.

I'm not going to write about the puffy allergy eyes that me and my girls have been waking up with. I can't breathe. My nose is running. It's uncomfortable.

I'm not going to write about the huge debt that my family is in and how I wonder if we will ever get out from under this rock. Or the fear that sets in my stomach every time I pay bills or, at least, go through them and decide which ones can wait.

If I harped on all the negativity going on in my life right now, I think it would sink me and it would win- I can't let that happen.

Then, I am reminded of a friend who lost her daughter. And another friend whose daughter fought cancer and will always wonder what looms in the future. And that my step-mom is putting her combative delusional father in a home while her sister is fighting late stages of breast cancer. I feel petty for worrying about my little problems.

I'm not a cutter. I don't have bulimia or anorexia. My parents divorced and I was completely NOT traumatized by it. I was not molested by an uncle. I've never done crack or cocaine, so, no, I'm not an addict. I've had about 23 drinks in the last 12 months and it's safe to say that 20 of those were at BlogHer. My father was an alcoholic, but has been in recovery for the last 20 years and he couldn't be a greater guy! I have been blessed with healthy kids.

When life gets tough, it's important to put things into perspective and sometimes a big cry helps.

We all have a story. We all have shit to deal with. Some shit is worse than others. But you know what, it's all just as hard. Because it's OUR LIFE and we are the ones dealing with it. Life is a struggle and there are constant tests.

We all have our own coping mechanisms. Some internalize and some are drama queens. Some gripe, some are riddled with sadness and some are in agony.

No one should negate each other's pains or struggles as inconsequential or how they choose to endure it. We should be compassionate to the human tribulations that cause discomfort.

post signature

17 comments:

Laurin (@LaurinEvans) said...

Tena, this post was just amazing. I've read it more than a couple of times and it really speaks to me. That last line is beautiful. Truly.

I'm all pissy today by the way and while one of the reasons for that seemed a bit trivial to me at first, this post helped me be okay with it. I have kind of a big reason to be pissy, but the "smaller" reason is that my daughter wasn't allowed to watch Obama's address today even though I filled out the form for her to participate and turned it in. It's a convoluted tale and too long for this comment, but I feel like my head is going to explode right now. I am so angry I'm simmering.

I would love to blog about what happened today to get it out, but I am the idiot who sent my daughter's teacher email with my Wise Stamp signature info. Blog, Aiming Low, Twitter, the works. Gah!

Ms. Trish said...

"We all have a story. We all have shit to deal with. Some shit is worse than others. But you know what, it's all just as hard. Because it's OUR LIFE and we are the ones dealing with it. Life is a struggle and there are constant tests. No one should negate each other's pains or struggles as inconsequential or how they choose to endure it. We should be compassionate to the human tribulations that cause discomfort."

this is sooo re-tweetable quote worthy! love it! now to get that down to 140cahracters or less to RT it.

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Very nice post....it says alot of how I have been feeling lately.

Paige said...

Right on sister!

Massage Mamma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Massage Mamma said...

Coming out of lurking to write my first comment to you! I've been reading your blog since the first week you started blogging. I fell in love with your writing and your honesty that comes through with each post. Thanks for this post, I needed it today. Keep writing... you have a gift with words!

Jill said...

So true... so well written ... so poetic...

We all have our own sh**... it's how we deal with it that counts!

Annie said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

You took the words right out of my mouth!!

That being said while my cousin has had her life support removed after having a stroke. Some things become so insignificant.

jerilynne said...

I'm also coming out of lurking o say Amen!! Very well said...either way you look at it its "our" shit and it stinks...

Terri said...

amen sister!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Thanks for this post, it struck a chord with me!

Christine said...

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn, this was a good post. I might have to pimp you out a bit. ;o) Hang in....

Soxy Deb said...

Very well said Tena.



On another note, my word verification is "hersin". HER SIN - really? What did I do?

HappyHourSue said...

Great post, girlfriend. And 22 of those drinks were at BlogHer.

Mrs4444 said...

Ain't THAT the truth!?

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

Great post! I've been thinking kinda along the same lines lately. Many times I have to focus on my many blessings to be compassionate to others.... I forget how truly blessed I am.